Things You Don't Know About Women

- "Notice the small things. The rewards are inversely proportional."
- "Our eyes are up here."
- You say: "I'm intense." We hear: "I'm a psycho."
- "There is no such thing as women's intuition."
- "Women really do want to be on time. It's just that everything starts so darned early."
- "We loosened the jar first."
- "Our favorite foreplay technique? Mental stimulation."
- "Before you accuse a woman of being bitchy, walk a mile in her shoes. Her pointy-toed, high-heeled, impossibly uncomfortable shoes."
- "PMS is real."
- "We love it when you try."
- "We dream about ex-boyfriends and George Clooney."
- "Women have only one Halloween costume. It is a slut."
- "Often men confuse pensiveness with bitchiness, and I find that insulting!"
- "Women like a man who can make a mean pie crust."
- "We know that we can instantly intrigue you by memorizing one stupid fact."
- "Women remember everything."
- "We're not just pretending to be annoyed when you keep changing the channel."
- "The best parts of your body don't even know they are attractive."
- "When you're talking dirty to us, call us a whore and not a prostitute."
- "Stop getting manicures. Now."
- "We love a well-groomed man."
- "We hate it when you are late."
- "Some of us prefer boxing to yoga."
- "Never underestimate the effect the shape of your ass in your Levi's might have on a woman."
- "If you're funny, we will sleep with you."
- "Even Harrison Ford isn't cool with an earring."
- "The hottest man is the one who wants an age-appropriate woman."
- "Put down the BlackBerry. Just for a minute. Make that two."
- "We don't really mind when you leave the toilet seat up."
- "Being clean is so much more important than being rich or cute."
- "You aren't the only one who thinks that two women having sex is hot."
- "When we say we want you to get in touch with your feminine side, we really mean..."
- "When you are dancing with a woman, know how to lead. When you are intimate, know how to touch."
- "Don't bother with the G-spot until you've mastered the A, B, C, D, E, and F-spots."
- "When you hug a woman at the end of a date, if you have any romantic intentions whatsoever, do not 'bro-pat' her on the back."
- "Most of us respond favorably to even the most diminutive gesture of compassion."
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