Stages of Immigration: My Two Years in Qatar
Exactly two years ago on November 28-th 2006 I have landed in Doho. The immigrant (or expatriate in our case) usually passes through three common stages:
- Excitement: You are excited about your new job, new environment, you foretaste meeting new (and wonderful!) people, you are ready for some adventure, and full of expectations of something very nice, if not of a miracle….
- Disappointment: When Ms. Reality comes across, when this naughty Lady shows her ugly face and crafty nature, when what you see and how you feel is not what you dreamed of... you get kind of a bit shocked
Whether it’s a new job that is not even close to what you expected, whether it’s new rules of the game called LIFE, which you don’t really understand and are not ready tp accept, whether it’s isolation and loneliness… whatever it is… that was not planned, you weren’t expecting that your life will give your such hard lessons…
You feel betrayed, you feel down, treated unfairly. Now it depends on you how easy and fast you are able to overcome these daily obstacles and psychological difficulties
- Back to normal life: If the previous stage hasn’t drawn you into the deep depression, you most likely will find your way of dealing with the new conditions, and will adapt to new circumstances; you most likely will fill your own niche, find your own spot in your new life; you will learn new rules of the game, and adopt them… You will survive.. and most likely you will like your new existence unless you are incorrigible pessimist..
Most of the newcomers (immigrants, expats, whatever you call them) usually pass through these three stages. I was not an exception - especially since I have been to Qatar prior to my employment. In February 2006 I was visiting one of my friends here and I fell in love with this country. So my first phase of excitement had been programmed long time before getting my job here. That’s why the Second phase hurt me much heavier and deeper - it was unexpected, it didn’t match my image of the Qatari reality that I had created by myself for myself. It didn’t fit any pattern that I had developed in my mind - it was totally out of my imagination and expectation…
I was lucky, I met few very, very nice people.. one of them became....well.. that is a different story. But the fact is:
I am here for TWO years and I AM HAPPY!
Happy Second anniversary!
at least you are happy (as u said and hopefully u are).
i felt the same too. i came here nov 2005 in the midst of busy busy doha preparing fo the asian games. i was very excited. every after work i go around doha taking pictures randomly. and i spend like crazy.
after a few years, the excitement declined. adding from the frustrating traffic due to road facelifting where u encounter everyday going to the office and accommodation, stressful job, relationship problems, personal financial crisis, unsavory treatment by your colleagues, way down salary, loneliness when sickness visits u frequently and theres no one at your side, man, u name it. been there done that. doha made me weak yet strong. and in my 3+ yrs here, believe it or not, haven't saved any penny for me.(dead serious). when too many people depend on you, you will be drained. what matters to you then is survival. you learn to live by your instinct and do whatever u can to earn. but thankfully havent think of robbing a person. but i still have time to think about it.lol. so must agree with qatarisun, when expectations fall, you try to survive and live practical. to conclude (or not to conclude yet), heck, i can say im happy and content here (but not forever). happy that i survived and content thinking that eventhough i havent saved anything for myself, at least i helped some people.
+++++++++++++
"I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. the proper function of man is to live not to exist. i shall not waste my time trying to prolong them. i shall use my time."
2 years in Qatar is like 10, and its abosolutely shit , Qatar sucks big time
Without imagination their is nothing!
Well then...
Lose the chip. Get movin to somewhere like UK. With freedom of speech, Overtime hours, hot diggity-dogs and narrow roads.
kingman,
this scheme is applicable to any immigration process to any country.. trust me.. ;)
cases could be different, some take it easier, some take it harder, some (very few) are lucky to avoid stage 2, some never reach stage 3.. but in general the idea is the same, no matter what country you immigrate to.. you will always need to learn new rules and to adjust yourself to the new environment.. some go through it faster and easier, others longer and harder…
try to find a peace with yourself. this is a key thing..
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
My Congratulations to you on finding happiness and summersaulting all those stages.
Just keep moving ahead, Don't look back, just move on with your life as you wish.
Unfortunately, My Confession Booth is full of souls that are stuck in 2.
The Seven Words You Can Never Say On QL by George Carlin
This subject really interests me and that was the reason I wanted to share a different perspective of the post's subject.
The frustration implicit in my first comment, comes from the comparison of my previous expat experiences in different countries and continents, to this one here in Qatar.
Up to my experience here in Qatar I was convinced that expats when moving into a new country, would generally go through 4 stages:
1 - Honey moon: The excitement of discovering novelty
2 – Resistance: You realize that things are not like the way you were used to and those differences start to get into your nerves.
3 – Integration: Curiosity, interest and welcoming local receptions leads people to interact and integrate with the local scene.
4 – Acculturation: People start to embrace aspects of the local culture, such as language, festivities, rituals, customs, habits, etc…
This was what I believed until I got here.
Here in Qatar, things are a bit different, because of the lack of interaction with the local culture.
In all my past expat experiences, I was able to reach the 4th stage, as for here the majority of us won’t probably accomplish that crossover. And this takes us back to Qatarisun’s post.
To conclude, I believe now that in countries where the interaction between locals and expats is non-existent or kept to a minimum, the path would be as Qatarisun’s describes in her post (sorry for this one, with some exceptions like my 1st comment).
On the other hand, where expats and locals coexist and share the same social space, the 4th step is an interesting and enriching place to attain!
Hi buddy,
I absolutely agree with you on all what you wrote abt expatriate journey the moment he or she lands in the destination country. However, I wonder if this reality applies to Qatar or Gulf states only?
This was not clear for me, but in general, countries are not the same as in some of them you feel better than home in others the case is not the same.
Anyway, I advise that one should not stay abroad more than five years maximum wherever he or she expatriates as being away from home will change many things in your life and it will weigh very much on one's style of living.
what do you think?
Thanks
happy anniversary!!!
I didn't mean ONLY those will feel contented here.
Again, as you say, it's your assumptions, not mine.
I was careful to use the word "probably"; and I didn't use "not happy", i used "not comfortable".
For example, I am happy but don't feel comfortable about the issues i mentionned.
I don't understand (and it's none of my business) why did you include yourself on "those" (I certainly didn't).
Anyway, I am happy for you, to also be contented here, congratulations for that!
:)
lusitano...It’s not about “spoiling the party”. You are the one who assumed that only “Those who come from extreme poor backgrounds, countries with limited personal freedom, or even rich countries but with but with poor cultural and intellectual backgrounds, will probably feel contented here.”. And I assume, those with more “sophisticated structure” like yourself, can never feel comfortable/happy here . These are your words, not mine. You indirectly accused me and others who feels good, in being a “lower class” with limited intellectual potential, with no cultural or educational background, with the narrow mind and view, and who are happy for only having extra few pennies in their pockets.
And that’s what exactly I can say to you: “You don’t know me, my background or even the reasons that I am here in Qatar”. Because again, this thread is NOT about what’s bad or what’s good in Qatar. This thread is even not about Qatar at all. It is about ME, finding my own niche in absolutely new, unknown, unexpected, unusual environment. I hope you see the difference.
And I hope and wish everybody will be able to find such spot for him/herself, no matter where they are: Qatar, Honolulu or the Moon…
cheers, buddy!
Tallg,
The best thing: I admire the Qatari policy called “qatarization”. I don’t agree with some ways of implementing this policy. But I understand, there was no such precedent in the world, so it’s a quite hard job.
and I totally admire the First Lady of Qatar, HH Sheikha Mouza with her policy of educational and cultural improvements, Art development and saving qatari traditions...
The worst thing is of course the same annoying “rent increase and inflation”.
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Well you are very Lucky Qatarisun , iwish i could say the same! i had nothing but absolute CRAP living here in Qatar beginng with the Promises that my Father in Law gave me and my Wife and it has been all down hill since Aug 2006........................................................................
Without imagination their is nothing!
Qatarisun,
I agree with most for your comment, but not on your assumptions about me. You sure don't know me, my background or even the reasons that I am here in Qatar. But I understand your rage, as it seems that I spoiled the party.
Sorry about that, it wasn't really my intention.
Maybe your post wasn't open to different points of view. It was my mistake to assume it was.
Please let me know (as this is your post) if you want me to remove my comment.
QS looks like we arrived about the same time in Doha.. just before the Doah 2006 Asian Games.. Agree with what you wrote.. real words of wisdom and experience.. Thanks..
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
QS - a question for you;
What are the biggest changes you've seen in Qatar in the two years you've been here? I'll take one good and one bad change.
thank you tallg.. :)
thank you ladymeh
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
First, you misunderstand a whole concept of coming to work in Qatar. Qatar needs you only at the stage of its development. You should understand that the Country developing process takes a bit longer than 1-2-3 years. You cannot change mentality and life style of whole nation in 1-2 or even 5 years. You need at very least 1 generation to see some results. So you shouldn’t “give up” just because FOR EXAMPLE, after 1 year of introducing new traffic rules, there are still crazy aggressive drivers on the roads. You should understand that insha’allah their kids will drive in a more civilized manner (kids, I mean those who will grow up in 20 years, not the present 20 years old kids). For another example, 2 years ago they didn’t have a computerized system in the traffic department. At all. You had to wait for ages till they exchange your driver license. Today, with the computers and trained stuff (by the way, most of them are Qataris), it takes 10-15 minutes. You shouldn’t give up, coz Qatar is only in the beginning of its development, and that’s WHY this country needs you in the first place. When it will be developed and settled like Europe, they won’t invite you here, YOU will be begging them to accept you. So I think you ar the one who is coming from the extreme poor backgrounds with very narrow mind and imagination, since you are unable to understand simple things. You cannot understand where you are and what’s going on around, and why it’s going on, and where does it lead, and what will be result in 1-2 generations, not in 1-2 years as per your limited view.
Second, you misunderstand a whole concept of being happy. Happiness is not about what is AROUND YOU… Happiness is about WHAT IS INSIDE of YOU! Our lives usually are far from Paradise in general anywhere. Even those who we think live in Paradise, they still have their own issues and life dramas…I guess if your life in your country was a Paradise you wouldn’t be here in the first place. I guess it was not Paradise either… So you came here to look for Paradise, and this your intention was wrong initially..OR if it WAS a Paradise, and you came to Qatar with the CLEAR understanding that it is NOT a Paradise, comparing to your country, you shouldn’t complain then. Poor you, you cannot find a peace with yourself.
Nobody is appealing to keep closing your eyes. We do whatever we can do! we call attention to the problems, we discuss the issues, we do some great volunteer jobs. But as I said, if you expect things to be changed in few months, it shows me how shallow you imagination is. If you came here hoping to find a Paradise here, it shows me how shallow your knowledge is.
That’s good that the fact of abusing human rights makes you unhappy. Here is a source for finding your happiness: Fight for it! Don’t expect that someone will do a job for you in order to make you happy, and you will be just enjoying the result. Find your happiness in work, in volunteer jobs, in improving yours and other’s lives. Help to build "dynamic cultural and intellectual society", similar to one i assume you came from, instead of complaining that nobody has prepared it for you to make you happy in Qatar!
sorry if my post a bit messy, as I am really busy at work, and as usual do 100 things at the same time.. but i think you got my idea.. unless your mind is even more narrow that I assumed.
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
lusitano, I think you misunderstand my intentions. I'm not dictating and conditioning. Heck, I agree with lots of what you say on QL! But you have simply used this thread for your own purposes, making your message fit to the theme of the thread. It's hijacking, albeit clever than most hijacks.
tallg,
Please refrain form dictating and conditionning other's points of view. Not everyone shares the way you choose to see things and that doesn't mean that you are others are wrong.
Just different points of view!
I am here sharing with the QL readers, the stages I've been through in Qatar, which is the topic of this post!
you are blessed to have been in this state you are in right now being here in Doha, Happy 2nd Anniversary QS..
most are not as lucky as you. I hope i get to feel good being here. :)
Good morning everyone. another nice post
Not at all lusitano, but there's a time and a place. If you want to discuss that start another thread, or continue one of the many that exist already. I'll happily join in, as I have done previously. But bringing it up in an unrelated thread will not win you any supporters.
Sorry QS, hijack over.
Here we go, you sure support my view "open criticism and feedback are NOT welcome".
Do you ever post anything positive lusitano ;p This is a happy thread, please don't bring it down. There are loads of other threads already discussing your concerns.
Congrats on 2 years QS. I've been here a couple of months longer than you and have begun to enter stage 4 - knowing that it wont be that long to you leave Qatar and thinking that really you'd quite like to stay a bit longer.
I also went through 3 stages, but completely different from Qatarisun’s:
1st stage – Shocked
By the aggressive and careless driving behavior, buy labor’s living and working conditions, by the way domestic helper’s are treated even in public, by the chaos resulting from the poor organization of the Doha Games, buy the way people demand services without leaving their cars, buy the lack of smiles and politeness, courtesy and respect in general, buy the underdeveloped infrastructures and the obsess need to exhibit material wealth, buy the selective law enforcement, buy the lack of general public education, by the almost non existent cultural scene, buy the unnecessary moralism, by the feeling of losing personal freedom, by the substandard levels of management and services etc, etc, etc, etc, etc
2nd stage – Attempt to contribute for improvement.
Realizing that there were a lot of areas that ache for improvement, I tried at different levels and fronts to suggest improvements… I didn’t go to far, as open criticism and feedback are NOT welcome.
3rd - stage – Giving up.
Understanding where I am and how little I can do to change things, I gave up on my volunteer contribution, waiting for a stage 4…
The fact is, for some Qatar is far from being a paradise on earth.
People that are concerned with the wellbeing of others with human rights abuses and people that are used to be part of dynamic cultural and intellectual societies will probably not feel comfortable, living in Qatar.
On the other side, some people have found paradise on earth here in Qatar.
Those who come from extreme poor backgrounds, countries with limited personal freedom, or even rich countries but with but with poor cultural and intellectual backgrounds, will probably feel contented here. At least they have money and a general good life (at the surface), as long as they keep closing their eyes and not being affected by the passive coexistence of abuse and disrespect.
Happy landing & staying anniversary, i m living here for 24 yrz.. or more then tht, may be 40-50 yrz....
thanks QS...
you definitely will, nadt dear! we all have our ups and downs...
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
happy anniversary QS, with such a great character you have im not surprised youve reached stage 3 and found happiness. hope theres many more years of happiness to come.
One year later here, i keep bouncing back from stage 2 to 3, depending on how my day goes, hope to reach atage 3 permanently someday.
Uh oh. Sounds dangerous.
lol.... jauntie.. wallah you made me laugh...:):)
thanks... July 4 sounds good...
I am gonna be single for 8 days!!!! woohoo!!!
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Congrats on making it through to stage 3!
Seriously though .... Very nice post - thanks.
Hope to bump into you again sometime soon - seems AGES ago we met. July 4?
Am still in my first month here and i guess am still in the first stage. Gotta hand it to you for sharing what you went thru.
Blessings and Peace
I blatantly plagiarized the next heading down from your post. But it fits. Yes? :)
Thanks qatari!
thank you very much guys...:)
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
excellent post! i'm sure everyone can appreciate those phases. Let's hope the reach a state of happiness like you :)
QS.. congrats and good luck for the years to come.
cheers
______________________________________________
Every society is judged by how
it treats it's least fortunates.
Happy Anniversary QS!
I'm still waiting for stage 1 to happen ;-)
Its natural
Dissapointment gives way to better understanding of mechanics/dynamics of your workplace. You develop a set of attitude and knowledge base to get a handle on your workplace conduct.
And voila..At some level you are playing cards with the backbenchers
thank you guys!
Dracci.. as i always say.. everything and everyone has its/his(her) own reason....May be it was my mission to be in the right place in the right time to be helpful for you! I am glad that I could directly or indirectly to help at least one person! as same as someone helpt me at some point...
Alexa, habibty, my dear friend! thanks a lot!!..:)..
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
happy 2nd anniversary in Qatar...
I guess I'm still in phase #1 as I'm in my 4th month here..:)
happy 2nd anniversary in Qatar...
I guess I'm still in phase #1 as I'm in my 4th month here..:)
with you, "My #2" is vanished!
Love ya, Beautysun