Secretly falling in-love with a friend...
What should I do about it? I'm afraid to ruin the friendship coz it's been wonderful being friends with this guy...but how about my feelings which evolved from mere platonic to romantic love? There's been mixed signals thrown by and at each but never really got the guts to talk about it. Like how crazy is it that we talk about anything and everything under the sun and yet we've never talked about our feelings for each other...
befor u tell him what u feel do u really know that he is single/ b'se most guys here have their family back in their home country and they will say they are single..
If he is married dont spoil another female life..
If he is single, go ahead and let ur feelings out and make ur heart clear whether he is on the same way..
Thats my opinion
~i've actually weighed in the pros and cons of whether or not to tell him and since i'm a vocal person, i am seriously considering telling him but in my own wacky way of saying things hoping that it would make things a little less awkward. he knows me and i know him, he is the best friend anyone could wish for...and besides, the biggest thing that made me fall in love with him in the first place is him being the pure-hearted and broad-minded kind... so i don't think being honest about my feelings for him would be such a big deal for us both. if he is not on the same page as i am-- then, well, i'm a big girl...i sure can handle it...but if he responds positively, then what a relief! i believe that our friendship is too deep rooted and too special to be destroyed by a single moment of truth, we are just not that shallow, i guarantee you that.
from reading all the posts here, there are tons of things i've learned but there's one which really stood out: that i'm not alone in this...so thank y'all for the good, bad and even the outlandish replies...appreciate it very much. Ciao! till next time, folks!
!Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway!
... To tell him how you feel about him. You said he is shy and that there have been mixed signals. He will never take the first step if he is shy. If you don't respect your feelings and give it a try you will regret it one day. Love is something precious that not everybody experiences so make sure you follow your heart. You need to listen to your heart only and to nothing else. Things might feel a bit awkward for a while if you don't start a relationship but time will heal it. If you lose a friend because he can't understand your feelings then you have to understand that just maybe he is not the right best friend?
Good luck.
and let history take its course! If something different happens, you're not meant for each other! Lol!!!
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"Why is my PM access blocked?"
!Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway!
Damn long thread! Read the 1st few posties only.
jazzafterdark said "... Only don't just send him mixed signals/throw yourself at him, after that continue being platonic and just friends (just the way you behave with him now).."
As usual, miscommunication. It's also a guy thing to be dense.
Sending a (or several) signal(s) of interest that is not taken up on means he's not interested so, better continue to be platonic or lose the friendship. However, like 1 particular moron, he decided to lose the friendship. Since stupidity loves its own company, not my problem.
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Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.
go for it!!!!! yallah...... its not everyday we feel this kind of wonderful crazy LOVE!!!!!
morninnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ;p
~you guys have anything to say? G'mornin friends!
!Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway!
_I'am perfectly Imperfect....
zzzZZZZZ.....
i was the first oen to comment on this thread.
Still would say..Never give up.
Be like a drug, something people just cannot live without.
Be in his ups, downs, happiness , sadness..let him get uused to every desision he makes, every breath he takes.
And do all this as a friend. When u feel that he is totaly dependand on you..step back slowly slowly..let him look for you..see if he misses your presence.
Talk to other men, make him feel jelous.
Let him say that...
" Mild-red I need you "
~you really think so? i'm just gonna drop it then...it has catastrophe written all over it anyways
/feel the fear and do it anyway/
~i don't think i'll be attempting anything. there will be no tests either...moving on? yes, definitely.
!Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway!
shud be an exciting moment of truth wen u both get toghether..
well congrats to both of ya..
now I guess u r just 3 words 2 souls and 1 kiss away...
gud luck..
if he says no.. just say "u've passed a test" & move on 2 da next attempt..
lolz
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
--Corinthians
"Don't Dive with Me if you can't take the PRESSURE"
seriously, secret+friend= disaster.
Love is always in the air mild_red.. You are just feeling it more strongly these days :)
**** Aal Izz Well****
~Yes, indeed!
"Don't Dive with Me if you can't take the PRESSURE"
~freaky it's good to know i'm not alone...at least i found someone here with the same problem. and of course i'll be telling you what happens next. you'll find it in your inbox though coz you know, the outcome may not be very favorable
Yes when will we fall in love if not during this month :))
**** Aal Izz Well****
it is the LOVE MONTH after all ;p
"Don't Dive with Me if you can't take the PRESSURE"
lol you too :)
**** Aal Izz Well****
ok Freaky, don't forget to share your outcome as well.
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सोनम दी नेपाली बाबु
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Jaryz you are my best friend remember.. So I have to be careful around you :))
**** Aal Izz Well****
I guess its the latest trend here in Doha, falling in love with best friends...LOLsss
_you got it right Jaryz! i'm also in-love with my best friend
_I'am perfectly Imperfect....
Forget the looser! I'm here!
MAYBE freaky wants to know if it will work, then she'll do it with her best friend cuz she's head over heals in love wtih her bestfriend also...LOLsssss
why freaky ?
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सोनम दी नेपाली बाबु
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_hey mild_red when you do the first move...don't forget to share it, okay? just curious about the outcome.
PEACE!
_I'am perfectly Imperfect....
mild_red lol
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सोनम दी नेपाली बाबु
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~no honey that's not me. you're a funny guy. i can only wish i look as cute as that pic on my profile...hehehehe
mild_red Is that your real pic on profile ? OMG lol
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सोनम दी नेपाली बाबु
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~I know i'm not that smart but i think i'm not that dumb either...i wouldn't even consider telling him about my feelings if he's never given any signs...being friends for so long make things really complicated. i'm sure i wasn't imagining things when he gave a hostile reaction when i asked his opinion about me meeting up with my ex...but hey, about what you said, that's a thought i really must consider seriously. thanks again, maybe he is not really that into me...sad but it just might be true...
ahem ahem
If he felt the same way he would have made a pass by now....
give him the opportunity but if he doesn't take it....don't go and make a fool of yourself
I agree with flan... he just isn't into you romantically.
_that's the best suggestion so far....
PEACE!!!!!
_I'am perfectly Imperfect....
seduce him and get him drunk and have some raw rough love at his place,treat him like he's ur b***h.. in the morning ask him to make you breakfast and tell him you will call him sometime soon.. and just leave..
i;d go for a girl if she does that to me
H
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If language did change since then, meanings of words & phrases changed as well. Written guidelines and rules must reflect the present.
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_thank you for the comments, suggestions and advices they are all great and very refreshing! i feel a lot better now and i think i've gathered enough confidence to go for it one day soon..
_I'am perfectly Imperfect....
_i believe that we are solely responsible for our choices and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and thought throughout our lifetime.
_I'am perfectly Imperfect....
be ready for the consequences.... either HE will say he loves you too and you will continue your friendship to the next level OR he will say to you HE loves you but in a sisterly , friendly way only and then you will feel him suddenly...or slowly staying away from you....
It is your choice gurl....
GOODLUCK!
_I'am perfectly Imperfect....
This must suck for you, but you hinted that you both flirt occasionally so he's probably waiting for you to do the first move. Maybe he is worried you will reject him..
Vulgarity is the conduct of other people, just as falsehoods are the truths of other people.
MR ---> if you really love a person... go for it... remember, only few people knows how to love... you are lucky that you feel that you love your friend... and you admit it... most of the people love but deny it... they didn't know how great it is to fall in love...
there's no harm in trying... you love... fight for it... for LOVE is the greatest gift that you could ever have and share!!! be proud that you are loving... be proud that you know how to love!!!
i think you should just open up and tell him how you feel and tell him that if you dont feel the same way , we can still be friends .. I know its going to be akward to see him after you have told him , but you will get back as friends eventually . Dont lose this chance coz you might not get it again , if you love him dearly just try to tell him coz i will regret not telling him if he went off and found someone .
Take my advice and tell him
happy loveguru is here :P
Just tell him how it is... You can share your feelings on an open forum but not with your friend???
**** Aal Izz Well****
jazzafterdark...lol ______________________________________
One life to live, live it to the fullest.
_mild_red don't giv to much hard tym to your self...
U hav to move,do something...don't waste your tym..
Life is to short...
Peace!!
_I'am perfectly Imperfect....
@happygolucky
"Wait for a while, the love gurus would soon be here to give you umpteem advices...:)"
Amazing comment
Good Frnd can always be your est partner so go on..All the best
My suggestion is....go for it. I probably think he's on the same page as you. And he'll love it when you propose.
And even if he's not interested (which is a very rare likelihood), he'll still love it that you proposed. It's a male ego thing that only us males know.
Anyways if he's not interested, he'll tell you nicely and I'm pretty sure it will not harm the friendship at all. Only don't just send him mixed signals/throw yourself at him after that. continue being platonic and just friends (just the way you behave with him now)
Who knows, he may just change his mind :)
my mother always tell me, marry your bestfriend. just know him more and let the friendship abound more and more, ul never know, just take ur time...
you'll never know if it will work out unless you try.. you should be able to talk about it since you two are good friends.. if it doesn't work out, you may still be friends anyway..
There doesnt seem to be any problem....I think she is looking for suggestions as how to break the ice.
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One life to live, live it to the fullest.
The problem is with "friendship", she is afraid to lose it if , or let's say when, the romantic relationship ends. There is no goin around it dear, take a decision, is he worth risking losing him for the sake of gaining his love? or is his friendship a lot more valuable to you than valentine's gifts and romantic dinners?
It takes two to tango.
so what's the problem then? as long as you're both single, i dont see anything wrong with it..
well if he hasn't tried anything on with you he's either gay or in another relationship.
at least i know it's not me, i don't know any malay chicks here.
Wait for a while, the love gurus would soon be here to give you umpteem advices...:) in the meantime you can consider changing your avatar which may soon be noticed and can be considered on the offensive side and you may get banned or deleted.
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One life to live, live it to the fullest.
well, it's about how to deal with this strong affectionate feelings toward my male friend who doesn't have any idea that i'm falling in-love with him. shall i let him know about it? or shall i keep this to myself? should i wait for him to say something first? but he's a shy person with a pride bigger than his head!it's all so confusing...i never meant to feel this way...
it's okay for anyone to just say i'm stupid coz that's exactly how i see myself right now
sorry dont understand what u tryin 2 say
Its normal to fall in Love. Not a crime.
Analyize the dept of his feelings towards you, Strenghten your base b4 you propose.Do not make it very obvious.
Love is not a game, but you till need to play safe.
Make sure its not just an infactuation.
Best of luck, you can do it.