Relationships - How do you get over a break up?
By azilana7037 •
Break-ups seem to be, unfortunately a normal part of the modern day life. It is when relationships end when you least expect it.
Break-ups are hard to deal with and some people never completely recover, carrying with them the pain of the break up through life. Others become immobilized of committing or getting close to a partner again for the fear of hurt.
What do you do when the person you love–more than anything in the world–left, dumped, slighted, walked out on, or deserted you?
Does your heart ache and ache endlessly? Do you lose sleep, your appetite, or you rehash–over and over again–the breakup?
So, how do you get over your breakup?
What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha
You have to put on a mask to let everyone see that you're just fine...but it's when you're alone...the hurt and the pain comes in...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asks, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
So you see there really are 2 ways to look at everything.
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
ending any kind of relationship is nasty, no matter how nicely u try to do it...the quickest way to get over it is to find a replacement...
thats why it pays to have reserves ;-P
"...the sh%t you hear about me might be true. but then again it can be as fake as the biatch who told you..."
Ladies……Talking about this kind of situation, men usually are the first to get over a break up. but hey! We dont want you to be sober for a long time. Look at the brighter side of life. Maybe it’s time for you to hone those hidden talents. Try playing darts; you’ll be amazed how accurate your aim is, especially when hitting on his picture as a target! ;p Try to do some drawings, get one of you’re pictures together and make a Picasso out of! it. Only on his face right…? ;p Explore your artistic side! ;p
[img_assist|nid=27705|title=|desc=rock on!|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]
Sometimes, you would think if someone wrote on your forehead the word "Losers apply here" because most often than not...you'll end up with one...hehehehe
Kidding aside, women (emotional by nature) gets more affected in a break-up. While the men drown their heartaches by bumming around with friends, drinking and hitching the next girl they may fancy, sometimes just to spite the ex...
Dont keep your heartaches inside, rather release it... If you have to slam the door in your room and cry out loud into bed, do it.. or you can take a shower while you quietly let your tears flow with the water... And after that dry the tears in your eyes and go on with your life, accept the reality and be strong. At the early stage of break-up.. everytime you feel the pain just cry as hard as you can, just give yourself 5 min for this and after that stop and do your normal routines.. and little by little you will feel relieved and would want to get over everything..
Treat yourself (buy new clothes, go to salon), mingle with friends and new ones... who knows there's someone better waiting for you, you just have to re-arrange your life again for you to start a new relationship again.. and remember you have to forgive and forget in order to totally moved on... its nice to be inlove anyway...
[img_assist|nid=28861|title=believe and u will see... Life is as simple as we make it complicated|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=122|height=180]
I as watching his shows all last night and laughing so hard!
Hahaha, so now you are ready for a relationship? LOL I guess it just takes the right woman :D
I love what the buck- so funny!
tra la la
I can't believe you're a fan of Ross too! Jass will you be my girlfriend?!! :-P He is just too much! hearing his Ms. Piggy voice is enough to get me laughing!
Try this link:
its really funny!
Hey, I'm in a relationship and I still have time for all of this!! Hmm, maybe I should get out more often :D
tra la la
Check out this celeb video blogger on youtube. He. Is. Hilarious!!
Lol with all these sites to keep me entertained I don't have time to be in a relationship! :-P
OMG!!!!!!! I love perezhilton.com too! It's my secret shame. try www.thesuperficial.com this guy is soo funny. I can't believe the things he says about hollywood :D
But at least you know not to have a relationship- thats better then 90% of guys out there.
tra la la
There's nothing mature about staying up all night binge-eating, smoking and splitting my time browsing QL and perezhilton.com!!:-P
if you think that then definitely don't get into a relationship! Wait until you actually want to be with someone.
I really hate it when I see guys who don't want to be in a relationship stringing poor girls along because they are just using them. See this all the time in the states.
I think it is a real at of maturity to know that you don't want to be in a relationship and telling girls that.
tra la la
Again I wouldn't know. Besides, I don't think I'm the relationship type whatever that means.
hahahaha. YES! relationships are HARD work!
tra la la
So do you think I should keep it that way?
Because I've never been in a relationship! Is that equally bad?
Welcome to QatarLiving....
Yup...moving on with life is the "best" option...slowly but surely. :-P
hey this is my very first comment, I think, once a commitment is over the first step is accepting it, second,love and pamper your self, do the things you do before you got it to this relationship,Go out with friends and have fun,
no one can help you if your mind is blocked and not willing to move on,
Chill, life is so much fun when your single,
II put on a mask that I'm okay, that I could take it and move on, laugh with friends and pretend that I'm moving on. But deep inside, I felt like my chest was about to burst for the hurt. I concentrate on my work, be reclusive and avoid socializing as much as I can.
But at night when I'm already alone, I cry myself to sleep, couldn't eat and always feel exhausted...
You are right, Kellyheroes. It really depends on the way a person takes it....
Thought you are betraying QLers and visiting facebook
Good night
nah! we didn't go in the end! Thanks to our neighbor (my husband's colleague) he told him it's close on Friday! Save us the journey to go there and find out it's close! would be bloody annoying!
Still up? I'm busy uploading stuff on my esnips and Myspace.com. But will crash in bed very soon!
Oppsss! sorry for hijacking again!
Judge not! that you be not judged!
Your question is an anticipation for the feelings and reaction. Such things no single person can tell.
In general, people reaction and feelings vary from celebrating the incident to committing suicide. You can imagine and expect anything in between. Depression, broken heart, complexity, sorrow, drinking or becoming alcoholic, surrendering to drugs, isolation. etc....
The aftermath is one of two things: Those who live with the past will drown there. Those who look forward will find their way sooner or later and live their life normaly. How happy? thats a different question.
Did you enjoy the museum. Was it opened or you took ladders with you and climbed the wall :D
My dear. Every person with feelings is sensitive. The difference is the extent of reaction.
Now to get the breakdown phone number, simply call 180 and you will break up once again before getting the number LOL.
I went thru anxioty attacks, loosing concentration at work, finding myself fighting the need to look at my mobile phone because i so badly wanted to text her, even if it was just a simple i miss u! not being able to sleep, because my mind was racing at 100kph at 2am! and after 2 weeks of dealing with all this pain, and suffering! i realized that you have only 2 choices here! one- you let it drive you crazy, and it eats you from inside out! till you become insane and sick! or you fight for the love that you feel, and you dont give up! even if it means having to forgive somethings that most men would never forgive a woman for! just to show her how much she means to me, and how deep my love is for her! thats what i did, and now im back with the love of my life because my effort and persistance of phisically showing my love for her thru emails, text messages, friends, family, letters, radio shot outs, song writing, and face to face conversations paid off!!!!!!! good luck to yall, im happy again!
Once the river of tears dries up.....its time to rediscover urself
I store FRAGILE stickers in emergencies though. Cling to Almighty, i have overcome tons of breakdowns successfully.
moving on is healthy! I can only understand sadness or depression in the first couple of weeks. You can't cry forever over a dead relation.
May the roof above us never fall in, and may the friends below never fall out!
I'm am just like Gypsy- Can't eat, can't sleep, depressed. After a couple of weeks I pull out of it and move on with my life.
My best friends' Grandma would always say the best way to get over a guy is to get under another! (It was soo funny hearing this from an 80 year old) LOL
tra la la
Thanks! but I'm allergic to horses!
Judge not! that you be not judged!
its ok my dear, if ever you can't see my horse ,you cant touch and feel how strong muscle my horse have. you look pretty my dear.
Ayayay! that's a horse? I thought it's a picture of frog! I think I need glasses nowadays!
Judge not! that you be not judged!
check the signs, maybe the exit is going back again to your problem.
I haven't moved on... =[ Even if all the signs point to the exit door.
wanna ride in my horse ? i'll keep you busy ridding .
" guten abend "
Simple answer; don't stay at home and eventually things happen while you are out there.
just keep your self busy, find a new things to do , like shopping , disco or unwind .
" guten abend "
i gave up cant take any more enough i had. damn this is heart not a rubber that u keep practicing ur skills on it breakin it again and again. A-----s :/
[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]
Hi Azilana,
Getting over - actually varies from person to person.. Some like sitting alone - some like partying - some like boozing.. etc.. I guess in these situations - friends help a lot! Travelling to a new place gets ur mind off and thinking in new directions. At times - taking up a very involving project or assignment or project helps! Again as I said - it all boils down to the individual himself/ herself and also on to how deep the relationship was..
AR.
" Life is short - make the best of it while you are ALIVE!"
i laydown my shoulder for you to cry on.
"guten abend"
ending things is very difficult...i sometimes fall into phase where i cant think, i cant work and i become self destructive...those were the younger days...now it seems like i just cant get any sleep, whenever i close my eyes i think of that last moment we had, how he looked and felt that last time we spent together...after indulging myself with all that hurting crap...i go out with my friends (hoping that i wouldnt bump into him anywhere) back on the prowl...and if someone catches my interest i make sure i get to bring him the same night to forget...
-CERTAMVS!-
In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go......
It is a hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know
when you will be able to pick up the pieces again......
especially when your intention of keeping a relationship was really true and sincere.....what to do.... just wake up and life must go on.....and dont look back
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off,bite the bullet and start over again it may get harder b4 it gets better but u will see inner strength come out u never thought u had. Given enough time you'll look back and realize that everything happens for a reason, a purpose and that there is a greater design.
Dear! oh! Dear! I'm a bit sensitive! I hate people who are..... etc.! You know what I mean! so let's move somewhere else!!!!!!!!!!
chat you later! my hubby is hassling me to go to National Museum! I think it's close! but he says, I just can't leave the board! grrr!!! ******haslehfgbvfhdgfjbhvfegbgf******
Judge not! that you be not judged!
breaking up.. dont`t just mean romeo and juliet story only..when leaving your home town ,friends famiely ...etc..it hurts ,but you will meet alot of people and you will cover it up and keep it in the back of your brain..when it comes to female and male lovers ..yes it hurts and it leaves a scar.which will never heal..but alot of it will just pass with few tears..and some anger..but for those who..don`t cry.. it will take longer time to come over thier sorow and self torture..wish that all of you can spend tears easly..
Am well prepared and used to that :(
Don't know about your preperations :D
Oh! Okay then! Thanks! lol we're hijacking Azzy's thread, we'll get kick in the ass here in any minute. you'll see! he! he! he! he!
Judge not! that you be not judged!
PM. Eventualy they arrive.
Mystica. Those who want breakdown service center phone no. can request it by PMing not through PM (confused huh) LOL
It would be very helpful, if you give them the number for breakdown service centre! ;-)
Judge not! that you be not judged!
call breakdown service
Did you get my last PM to you?
Sorry! for the hijack Azzi!
Judge not! that you be not judged!
the life is too short to spend several years for healing your heart pain. I have broken twice with guys, and one guy broke up with me. (I am not talking about 3-4 months of hooking up and hanging out together, I am talking about long-term deep relationship)...It was hard first few months.. But then you just realize that it meant to be this way, and there was no other solution for it... and you just thank God that you had it in your life: this absolutely amazing, great, deep, fantastic love. Because not everyone has given it! Not everyone experiences such deep feelings, not everyone gets this level of craziness, and dissolution in love. You feel that you are chosen one, and you are just happy… We are still very good friends. He appreciated what I have gone through and the way I was acting.
By the way it is very important to stay a Human even when you are hurt soooo deep!
I never experience bad break-ups, though there are times we end u not talking for like few months then again we begin to communicate after probably healed the pain.
After the break-up, I cried for like week, get myself isolated from friends from the world (as best as I could) for awhile then rock musics makes me calm down. In time am back again with full of optimism and forgiven him and myself.
Then, eventually, I would meet someone even without trying and re-open my heart again and take that risk again.
When I am settled with my feelings and myself with my new relationship, I talk to my ex, same thing they talk to me when they find a new one.
I am self-sufficient, I always find comfort from my own pain, I just built myself that way!
Cheers!
[img_assist|nid=23961|title=|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=135|height=180]
"I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never find a companionable solitude"
It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?
i know it hurts...but we have to move on.....
go outside..have fun...no more tears...
[img_assist|nid=28956|title=Smile|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]
Glad to hear you're okay! Hmmm! go for a diet? maybe you should do that now to make him even more proud of what he's got! nye! he! he! he!
Judge not! that you be not judged!
break ups and heartaches....i cry ...cry ...cry and i accept and i move on but when i move on i don't look back.... i don't want to remember the feelings that hurts me most...its hard but believe me it works....
I'm sure it's completely unfair Azzy, but life's unfair. Actually the two guys that I've rebounded with I still consider some of my best friends. I find guys can actually be pretty sensitive to a girl with a broken heart (or are just glad to be getting some and therefore no hard feelings). I'm sure it's different with rebound girls.
"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco
I just wanna know how men and women reacts to these situations. because, if it happens to me...I'll just go on a diet...hehehehe
I can't be always talking about sexual topics you know...lol. QLers might get the wrong idea about me....lol
Do you write sad poems, listen to sad music...cry?
this is not happening to you! It would be very sad of course!
But I haven't experience it myself! don't really know how to react or response to this question! Sorry!
Judge not! that you be not judged!
I make some sad stuff, then when friends come over to comfort me, I just force myself to move on.
__________________________
I Love Qatar - http://www.iloveqatar.net
getting another partner just to fill in the void quickly? Isn't it unfair to the "new' partner that he/she is a sort of "rebound" guy/gal?
I don't sleep, I don't eat, I cry non-stop and get panic attacks. This lasts a couple of weeks, then I move on. Usually by getting involved with someone else quickly and then dumping them when I'm totally over the other person.
"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco