The problem with the English

My confession Booth is available for proper English confessions.

My only mildly concern is my level of tolerance.

Of course for their funny English accents only.

Cardinal OF QATAR LIVING

Hope your both well and belive me it wont be me at the end of the kunckle sandwich maybe jauntie i should take him to football chelsea v Millwall. Then maybe not he,s a spineless yank

Hey Richard (ak ass hole) i have no problem about dishing out insults or reciveing them. Just be very carefull how you speak about the English ok.PS you really are a arse hole

mefinks it's now a case of whose pearly whites will be on the receiving end of a knuckle sandwich and who's boat race is about to rearranged!

and a face too for that matter. Get a life! You like to dish out the insults but you are not too good at taking them.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

How is my English? Better than the oxford hopefully.....Isnt it??

lets see if you have the b---s to say it face to face then maybe after you can tell all how much dentist fees are here in qatar you total arse hole

Those examples were taken from an American site. I haven't studied it, but some of your examples look a bit strange.

"She's got a beautiful new home". Got is past tense of 'to get' and sounds horrible said that way. "She has a beautiful new home" is far nicer and that's how I would say it. (I have an 'O' level in Spoken English, for what it's worth lol)

One wouldn't say 'where did she get such a beautiful house' although you might ask 'HOW did she get ....' :D

We also call a condom a 'rubber', but not in polite circles :P

We would also call someone a 'mean B'stard' if he was nasty, but also used the word 'mean' when referring to an average of something.

Could go on, but I'm getting a stiff neck here lol

I don't understand the ramblings of an illiterate moron. Does this come naturally to you or did you work towards it?

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

Do,s becomimg a geek come natuarly or is it something work towards maybe you have been like that all your life or maybe your your just a total arse hole

http://esl.about.com/library/weekly/aa110698.htm

Use of the Present Perfect

In British English the present perfect is used to express an action that has occurred in the recent past that has an effect on the present moment. For example:

I've lost my key. Can you help me look for it?

In American English the following is also possible:

I lost my key. Can you help me look for it?

In British English the above would be considered incorrect. However, both forms are generally accepted in standard American English. Other differences involving the use of the present perfect in British English and simple past in American English include already, just and yet.

British English:

I've just had lunch

I've already seen that film

Have you finished your homework yet?

American English:

I just had lunch OR I've just had lunch

I've already seen that film OR I already saw that film.

Have your finished your homework yet? OR Did you finish your homework yet?

Possession

There are two forms to express possession in English. Have or Have got

Do you have a car?

Have you got a car?

He hasn't got any friends.

He doesn't have any friends.

She has a beautiful new home.

She's got a beautiful new home.

While both forms are correct (and accepted in both British and American English), have got (have you got, he hasn't got, etc.) is generally the preferred form in British English while most speakers of American English employ the have (do you have, he doesn't have etc.)

The Verb Get

The past participle of the verb get is gotten in American English. Example He's gotten much better at playing tennis. British English - He's got much better at playing tennis.

Vocabulary

Probably the major differences between British and American English lies in the choice of vocabulary. Some words mean different things in the two varieties for example:

Mean: (American English - angry, bad humored, British English - not generous, tight fisted)

Rubber: (American English - condom, British English - tool used to erase pencil markings)

Cardinal OF QATAR LIVING

I know what you mean "British West Bradford" but that wasn't the reason. On Doncaster market we had many asians with broad yorkshire accents. Now you need to speak east european languages to shop. Crime is on the increase and the tax, council tax and cost of utilities are too high.

At least in Turkey we get a very high interest rate for the part of our cash that we transferred and the cost of living is much much lower.

Bit like Bradford then :P

"nowt so queer as folk"

with some of your comments Richard but am very happy with being semi-retired in Turkey. That was my reason for my saying "that's partly why we are now in Turkey".

The UK does have good points. We left originally in 1978 and returned briefly from 1997 to 2000. Thinga had changed a lot. By 2004 when we returned again we felt like foreigners so decided to BE foreigners and moved out.

Regarding London. We hate the place as it's full of strangers.

Its not so bad. I was in London for a few days last week and spent two days in Bath. England looked great. Very green and plush. The people for the most part looked good and there was a lot going on. If you compare it to the rest of the world (apart from the weather) the UK looks pretty good. That's why so many immigrants want to go there.

One thing I really like about the UK and the British is the lack of sickly patriotism you see in other countries. In the US politicians and businessmen wrap themselves in the American flag in order to cynically manipulate peoples misguided sense of patriotism.

In the UK that doesn't happen much. The fact that the British are not overly patriotic shows a high degree of self confidence and self restraint. You guys have a lot to be proud of.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

Wivgorragerrusimbux

We have got to get our hymn books

Isezitintisburritiz

He says it isn't his, but it is

Midadzgorrajag

My dad's got a Jag

And Mr Paul....Crime,drugs,prostitution and tax on the rise all the time.Immigrants flooding in and no way of stopping it. Whats happening to it I will never know!!!!

That's partly why we are now in Turkey

If I didn't get my facts right perhaps you should help me out. I thought the area around London was in England. Are you saying it isnt?

Also I thought that when talking about the English it was correct to use a capital 'E' and not the lower case 'e' that you use. Also, I thought that commenting was spelled like "commenting" but you spell it 'comenting' and that "before" has an 'e' on the end and "don't" has an apostrophe after the 'n'.

I think before you lambast me you should learn to write English yourself and take some basic spelling and grammar lessons.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

"Si Senor. There they go, forty lorries in a row."

Reply: "Them aren't lorries, them are trucks. Full of cows and hens and ducks."

If the grass is greener on the other side, its sure the water bill is higher !

"Siesen yor. Dher deygo, fortee lorez inaro."

"Dement lorez, demah trux, fulof couzan ensan dux."

Translation next post. But don't read it until you've translated this one.

Angelwings

If the grass is greener on the other side, its sure the water bill is higher !

You really dont know what you are talking about all your examples are from in and around london which is commonly known as cockney slang befor comenting on the english get your facts correct

Never agree with the real fact that their grammar is getting poor nowadays

Live Life To The Fullest.......................

Cardinal OF QATAR LIVING

Hey I met an Ingles who actually was wearing a cowboy hat and some cowboy boots telling a cashier with a accent is it nineteen or ninety ryals?

But the cashier told him:

Sir is nineteey rya's, no nineting.

There is three ways to parle English! The English rap, The English Ghetto and The American all star ghetto.

Cardinal OF QATAR LIVING

pulling your socks on purpose :)))

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“The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.”

Must be the weather...lol

:o) yeppers! it's fun

"u need to find the 'right' area to find 'em speakin da right English." What kind of English is that? Are you from the Ali G area?

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

I know - it was tongue in cheek :)

I love playing with words too, and being brought up educated in the very English way am aware of the variations that the Americanos have invented. It's fun..

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“The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.”

I'm guessing you don't know our richard too well. He regularly has a 'pop' at our English spelling and pronunciations and we give as good as we get. Oryx is usually his target (and a very good friend of his) 'cos she's hot as mustard when it comes to the 'English' spelling as opposed the the 'American' way. Check out some of his more amusing threads on this subject, they're hilarious AND extremely well written!

lol Jack we haven't had one of those for a while now have we! Must be the weather keeping their clothes on :P

Oh and shimmer, there's nothing to 'get over' cos we weren't upset :D

come on guys, get over it..

richard123 - u need to find the 'right' area to find 'em speakin da right English. Different areas in all countries all have their different dialects - makes life interesting and diverse, colourful

Moving right along then.............

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“The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.”

I always wait for Wimbledon in the month of June...

Never miss a match......lest I miss a Streaker running accross the turf...lol.

No hard feelings UK guys...

In fact I too call a petrol station a garage and not a gas station or petrol station. As has been mentioned a couple of times here many of the petrol/gas stations have both a garage and petrol. Anyway petrol is a liquid and not a gas as far as I know.

Mr. Paul as I told you I come from Scotland where I lived and even nowadays the kids play out the streets and have no real trouble in every area you will find goodies and badies same as it was in school. I don't know if you remember at one time in Glasgow an are called the Gorbles was a ghetto and full of bad lads/lassies but now it has been turned into a wonder residential and cultural area.

We have all the immigrants because we were once and empire in days of old when boys were bold!!!! lol

British people are renound all over the world as being quite remote (in the sense of cool) towards others and they generally don't mix themselves in other peoples business.

Returning to the topic of English, the further north you go in Scotland the less you will understand although they all speak English. I might add here than many people from Qatar have studied in Scotland and managed to get their Masters or PHd.

No changes, there, then :o) Thanks. You are, indeed, an honorary English chap or 'chep' as it's pronounced where I come from ;o)

Listen up guys and listen good. The UK is a good place (even if its inhabitants don't speak English very well). What happened to that little 11 year old boy is tragic and horrific. However, this type of tragedy is very rare in the UK.

Generally speaking, the UK is a very good country (though the weather really sucks)with beautiful countryside, interesting cities and a fascinating history. It is a culturally tolerant country and London is perhaps the most diverse and international city the world has ever seen.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

http://www.worldometers.info/

I also call a petrol station a 'garage' lol I think it's because years ago most petrol stations and service centres, showrooms etc were also 'garages' with general service areas combined.

re guns. Headlines in The Sunday Times wasn't too good - an extract from the article said:

" ......official figures showed that gun-related killings and injuries had risen more than fourfold since 1998....

The Home Office figures - which exclude crimes involving air weapons - show the number of deaths and injuries caused by gun attacks in England and Wales soared from 864 in 1998-99 to 3,821 in 2005-06. That means that more than 10 people are injured or killed in a gun attack every day. "

TEN a day! Well I guess thankful that "just injured' are included in those figures, but even so ... :o(

my husband always referring petrol station as 'garage', car showroom as 'garage', car service centre as 'garage'. It is drive me nuts. It is him or it is an english thingy thing?

talking about safety in the UK ... the lad who been shot at the back of his neck (11 yrs) ... how on earth people can carrying a gun just like that???

is we are notoriously too tolerant !!!!

Have to admit, although sex, drugs, crime and taxes have always existed, I felt really depressed when listening to the News on Skye this morning. It made me feel I never wanted to go back to UK again :o(

But then I remembered that news programmes aren't known to give anything other than all the bad news and to the best of my knowledge I've never known anyone to be shot to death in any neighbourhood I've ever lived in. (OK the random knifing, perhaps, but not on a daily basis as they would have us believe at present).

Kids play out in the road next to where I live and when visiting my Mother-in-law in Scotland the kids were playing outside her house there too, so it isn't ALL bad.

Unfortunately a lot of the 'killings' over the passed year or so seem to have been in ghetto areas where gangs of youths are out of control.

Crime,drugs,prostitution and Tax on the rise all the time.Immigrants flooding in and no way of stopping it. Whats happening to it ill never know!!!!

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I just used to want Tony Curtis! S*d Roger Moore lol

When I was a kid I used to watch that UK cop show with Roger Moore and Tony Curtis. I thought that Roger Moore was so cool and suave. I thought everyone in England drove little sports coupes, wore smart suits and said "old chap" a lot and that they got all the chicks. I was a little disappointed when I eventually went to the UK and it poured with rain for two weeks and no one spoke like Roger Moore etc.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

I really enjoy the regional dialects around the UK and even a true Cockney way of speaking has a ring to it, but I have to admit to a total dislike of 'estuary' English. i.e. the sloppy way of pronouncing (mis-pronouncing) words that has sprung up around London over recent years.

A dialect is one thing, because it has always been peculiar to a particular area. Badly spoken English, just for the sake of it, is quite another thing, and I find it hard on the ear and ugly and affectatious! Youngsters trying to appear 'cool'.

that reminds me of an old joke (calling the dog 'gay' as in if it was the dog's name I mean - not as your bloke in the pub meant it)

Bit off topic, but here goes anyway ...

A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes." He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

You all want to be born there, come on, admit it to your selves.

[img_assist|nid=31187|title=Mmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=150|height=180]

If we should remove the dialect from any country, we will be left with a plain/plane uninteresting language. Just as wearing hats will show from what part of the country or what tribe you belong to in many Asian countries, so the pronunciation of different letters in a word will also indicate from where you are born, not only in terms of noble or lowly birth, but also of location. It is not, my dear 'Richard123', limited to English language, nor the english people themselves. It is worldwide.

"We are, as always, at your disposal". How's that for an environmental statement!

Angelwings

If the grass is greener on the other side, its sure the water bill is higher !

But you sounded like the remixed version of Popeye there... :-D

Who decides there is nothing called American English.

I know about it for more than 30 years. At the time when computers were hardly known and Bill Gates has nothing to do with it.

Check the following link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_English

in London. "You calling my dog gay?" Said by a guy very aggressively to another fellow.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

I'm not quite sure that Popeye swore, did he? *cackles and pushes up arm muscles whilst swallowing spinach by the can*

Do we have ALI G in Da House? lol!!!

Wivgorragerrusimbux

We've got to get us some books(?)

Isezitintisburritiz

I says it isn't his, but it is

Midadzgorrajag

My dad's got a Jag

hehehe gorraluvit, dweller :P

LOL.... you sounded so much like Popeye on that one...lol!

You guys (Brits and Americans) never cease to amuse/amaze me... :-D

For a minute there I quite forgot all I'd learned in elocution lessons :P

who punched ur jaw??? i didnot get that but yea did get to understand it some how :D

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

Oi! Me an' me effin mates 'ave no effin bovver wivit. yer wanna effin come ou'side an' effin say 'at?

bleedin' effin yanks. gawn! effin gerrawf outtovit!

translation please. I agree that there is no such thing is American English. If there was it would be called American and not English. That's exactly my point. I like the BBC English or the "James Bond" type English but hardly anyone in England speaks that kind of English. Instead its all "Know wot oi mean, innit?"

When I cam back to Doha yesterday, there was a British guy behind me in the immigration line talking on his mobile phone and he said, "I'm in Doha, innit?" Is that English?

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

I do agree that the level of the language is being eroded primarily by those having recently arrived in the country and by the apparent lowering of educational standards in the UK.

However and relative to dropping the "r"

Garridge? Alroight? No "r"?

PS.....There is no such thing as "American English" despite what Bill Gates may try to say!

Local dialect? try these

Wivgorragerrusimbux

Isezitintisburritiz

Midadzgorrajag

All phrases as spoken in South Yorkshire

I have to admitted that Brits are Latin scholars, but the Problem with that is, they just hate the facts they cant speak correct Spanish at all!!

Dammed Spanglish Pirates!

Cardinal OF QATAR LIVING

and Richard? Are you telling me the residents of Bath are now speaking estuary English? Shame on you!

Well, to be honest, we cannot relate the accent to the language. But what really confuses me is:

1. "wh" usage. wonder for example why to write "what" and pronounce it "hwat", write "who" and pronounce "ho"

2. Mixing between "s" and "z" and the confusion it is making between British and American English. Like "organise" and "organize"

3. silent "gh" wonder why should it be there.

That's what I remember now