PM, between good and bad.
Good morning all QL, just another nice day and I wish that this first day of the week would be full with joy and happiness and would last until the end of it for all of you.
A lot of people had been recently complaining about one of our dear QL community feature and I guess that all of you know about it. This feature by itself is not a problem and it was a gift from our beloved administrator 'Qatari'. When the good tool falls into the hands of the wrong or bad people then we should expect trouble and a lot of issues.
What makes this feature a good source for trouble and a great headache for some QL members especially the ladies is the irresponsible behavior of some people who would join the community thinking of it as another dating website. Thinking that sending PMs would save you the trouble of being embarrassed on board and will give you the chance to send unwanted PMs to whomever you check their profiles and find the word 'Female' under the gender.
Most of you were wrong because you saw by yourself that the ladies on QL (God Bless Them All) are not of your type and most of them are opening from time to time a 'Name & Shame' thread to list some of those PMs and give the others the chance to see and know who you really are.
A great number of QL members are really bothered by what is happening these days as we can see from one thread to another that some would not let the chance go that easily to trouble the members on board, so how about PMs? There are a lot of those and a close friend of mine opened her account in front of me to show me how far those people went on bugging others. Some of them are kind of acceptable, while the rest went so far in the world of insulation and humiliation, while some are encouraging and spreading hate, grudge between the members. Some would send those in a loop of endless trouble and might even be jailed if get caught.
I'm talking here in the name of all the people who are suffering because of that; I'm asking 'Qatari' for a simple solution for this problem. Making the PM feature available for the members who are under 'My Friends' list. I know that someone would say, how can the others PM me then? We don't want to complicate it that much for 'Qatari', so losing the contact with some through PM because he/she is not on your 'Friends List' is better than keep getting unwanted PMs from a lot more that you don't know. There are different ways to communicate with this person other than PMs if the situation requires that.
So who is with me in this request, adding his/her voice to mine for the sake of this nice and beautiful community? I want to hear from all of you. No comments such as it is funny sometimes to receive those, there is nothing funny about it as well as I know some people were really shocked, insulted and very upset with this matter.
Best Regards
lol alexa
but would that keep u safe
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
hey but u r male and underage.. how come??:)
I like the PM feature and just delete the stupid ones. I don't believe it needs to be restricted to a buddy list because I don't really like/get the buddy list feature anyway.
The #3's are certainly the worst but, like Qatari said, they will abuse you publicly or privately.
i think the two wise personalities on QL r Scarlett and Qatari
always thinking the other way, and solves the problem easily
********************************************************
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Talha (1988-20??)
Being in the position I am, I think I have a good grip on what is going on generally.
Generally, we have a few types of people who abuse PMs:
1. Spammers who are trying to sell you something or look for friendship in order to get your bank account. These are far and few between and have mostly been stopped by making the registration form a bit more complex. These are like the Nigerian 414 scams. Annoying but harmless unless you're a greedy fool.
2. Sex depraved males who have been in Qatar for too long and think they could pick up a date here. They are pretty annoying but can be ignored safely. Yes, they are irratating but it is not worth engaging. They only affect people with female sounding names and pictures. Yes, they can say nasty sexual things but just delete the message and move on. Oh, and report them with the message and username via the abuse form and they will be blocked.
3. People who know you (or of you) in the real world (or maybe the online forum and have some sort of grudge against you. These are the worst type and the real problem. Plus the fact that one party is anonymous really makes the situation bad. The chides are "I know who you are/where you live/etc". Unfortunately there is nothing you can do technically to sort out a grudge. If you block the PMs they will just abuse you in the public forum. We've seen this previously...
---
Please read our Community Guidelines before posting on Qatar Living. It will save us all a lot of pain :)
only very few people are active in open forums in QL. Other registrant members like me are active in classifieds. personally I am getting lots of PM enquiries. So better way is to put an option to block the PM. I think its already there.
is a lady(and she has a seductive way of killing ) I wont mind.......you have to die one day anyway:))
An apple a day keeps the doc away....and if the doc happens to be a lady the better keep the apple away.
KE is gonna be the serial killer if we dont stop hijacking his thread.:)
Life is too short and if u r not living on the edge then u r taking up too much space.
QL is a free forum...you don't know who you will encounter here. Unfortunately, some creatures will abuse the PM feature to get back at others or just wanna be nasty about it...
Too bad....QL is such a nice site...
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. .-Bertrand Russell
What if he is a serial killer and kills us all
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
self control and self defence is what we need in ql and in our whole life.
I find QL a very interactive site.....if u stop PM or even restrict them you would be losing the whole concept(like qatai rightly pointed out)
In some societies/cultures people take liberal(free spirits)women as objects of sex. So mostly PM them looking for the same. Some take their chance on every female like you pointed out.So an appropriate way of dealing with them would be to invite them over to our QL gaterings and politely explaining to them that this is not the way it usually works.....just an idea (invite at your own risk;)
Life is too short and if u r not living on the edge then u r taking up too much space.
8 mounths , but I 'm a sorta hoples case. I don't know what this is called , but I'm sure many people suffer from the same prob. I have no ''orientation'' sense.
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
Frog - No need your oil. My company pays for the oil(for office and privete use)How long you have been living in Qatar?
King sorry for the hijak, but it was intentional. This subject is just useless, because none would be able to stop such e-mails, and none would even bother to do that. As I said , the Internet : sites , forums..etc are free spaces where you can get the best as well as th worst. If you can't accept that , you will just get tired and withraw the whole thing. I just admire the way Scarlett handled this. She's been great:)
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
are right mate, but it is supposed to be a place where we all having gun and discussing matters and issues related to our life here. Not to open the community, to get shocked and upset with some of those unwanted PMs. I know that the solution is to ignore those, but to laugh ..? Some can do that but some can't ... and quit already being part of this community because of that and they were really nice people :(
Just wanted to hear from you guys and thank you for all the posts.
sometimes a must to make life easier ... and please .. we are discussing something important here so no hijacking.
are mentally grown up people..........so I think they can handle the situation well on their own. So KE no need to get so worked up.Chill mate.
There may be many ways but the best is what suggested by Gypsy (laugh and ignore). Other ssuggestions r somewhat emotional in my opinion.
Life is too short and if u r not living on the edge then u r taking up too much space.
hahahah , What I didn't say is that I never went to Cornich lol. man , you know what, I have a serious problem. I wanted to post that on a single thread, but .... I get lost everytime I drive in Doha lol. I'm serious, I just spend hours and hours finding my way back home. Last time I found myself driving towards abou samra borders.
So next time, would you give me a lift, I'll pay oil :D
P.S: Sorry for the hijak :(
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
Infact wanted to open a new topic for it but after this this topic thought it would be better here
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
I would like to thank Qatari for passing by and enlighten us with his post as I would like to thank all the participants here as well.
Have a few notes and suggestions,
First when you got a PM from someone ... we can have something like a check box beside each senders to our inbox name. If you don't want to receive PMs from this person then check his name, click on a button like: Ban this user and that is it. I'm not asking anyone to disable this function completely. This way receiving PM is widely open to anyone and you have the choice to ban who ever you feel like receiving no PMs from, fair enough i guess and should not be an issue.
Second, I'm not making a bug issue of this as some here stated. It is not only my friend who is getting those kind of nasty PMs. There are a lot there but I came to know about it because we are friends. How about the others? There are a lot who are having the same issue, but won't post anything to tell others how do they feel. Frog, honestly you did not get that type of PMs to know how does it feel. Some are acceptable while the rest are not, don't tell me that you will receive threatening PMs and be cool with it ...
Third, disconnecting myself from the website or turning off my PM feature means that I would lose my only way to communicate with all the nice people here and it is something that no one want to do. I was just discussing here an issue that a lot were complaining about it long time before. What just revived that issue is that it reached an unacceptable level and becomes something a daily habit for some people who does not know when enough is enough ...
Best Regards
tcom, you made that just now for this thread?..:D
[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]
Frog - First, you never invited me.
This was an open invitation to everybody. No individual invitations necessary.
Second, I don't drink alcohol.
Who asked you to drink Alchol. There were plenty of fresh juices available. Ask King Edshel.
Third, I had a terrible stomackache because of a ''bloody'' orange juice.
If you had a stomackache How did you manage to go to Cornice.
Fourth , We had plans me and Talha to meet at the Corniche, but he never showed :D
Serve you right.
ok...got a PM this morning from someone wanting a date...girlfriend, to be specific...so answered him, politely..told him I was married, and to avoid embarrassment, he might want to NOT PM people on QL because some would post his message in public...he thanked me, apologized and said he appreciated it...
Sometimes people can get a little out of hand and usually you can take care of it in a polite manner...however..sometimes not, as in Azi's case. Azi...you might have to take matters into your own hands, my dear..and I for one, certainly wouldn't take that off anyone...what that person doesn't realize is that information highway goes BOTH ways...as does retaliation...and what goes around usually come back around to swat you in the back of the head, but twice as hard as you threw the original punch.
First, you never invited me.
Second, I don't drink alcohol.
Third, I had a terrible stomackache because of a ''bloody'' orange juice.
Fourth , We had plans me and Talha to meet at the Corniche, but he never showed :D
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
I made my point thats all dont take it as being rude ... it was not my intention
any way sorry if it sounded rude
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
Frog - Why didn't you come on last Thursday?
blocking and putting strict rules are not solutions for anything. like the way going in qatar and in middle east..
Take it easy mate, and never start a post with don't it sounds rude :)
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
Char Don't worry... I'll start forwarding all my fans' e mails to you from today :D Have to read then all , and reply the same old way : '' I love you to "
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
Dont make fun like this its not in good taste
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
The Emir said : "If women will behave like Gypsy, then I would not bring more women to Qatar :D" ...... oh the " : D" is mine not his :)
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
Why nobdy sent a massage to me:( I am still recering from last Thursday night Gala Drinking:)
I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I opened my PM or some racist thread,
Not by the beauty of it all,
nor the Language or its content.
But it was the sender /author
who made me sputter and gasp--
the propagator who never has anything nice
to say to any QL members other then hate
Instead of rotting away in hell,
was sitting pretty on cloud nine, in QL community
Who can I nudged and ask, "What's the deal?
I would love to hear your take.
How'd all these low life get up here?
What's our mistake?
"And why's everyone so quiet,
so somber - give me a clue."
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
Peace by all means! I gotch U Gypsy... Fair enough, u r permissible and exluded. hope u can stay same
Frog, I was simply saying that my actual appearance varies from how people perceive me on the forum. I didn't say what I looked like, just that I'm not the 300lb lesbian people perceive me to be.
"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco
Gypsy ......"they can actually see what I look like. "
I'm just speechless . Gypsy I have one thing to say : "It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help "
King,
I think mate , you're just making a mountain of a mole hill. This is what Internet is : Spams , E-mails and Vulgarity...etc . If you want really to avoid all these, get disconnected :D
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
Sad to say, I already alerted some people I know as well. They're just waiting for me to make a formal complaint and they said they'll take care of it. I also forwarded (via e-mail) these messages and honestly, we already know who they are.
I've been in Qatar for almost 3 years and I do know people as well...but these issues are so pathetic and INSANE.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. .-Bertrand Russell
Sorry Owen, I wouldn't want to keep my PM's exclusive to my buddylist. I get a lot of requests for information from a certain group of people who aren't comfortable posting their...ah...preferences on QL (due to a certain close minded segment of our forum who attack them if they do). So I would really hate to cut them off. Also I rarely accept anyone into my buddylist.
Szafar, if it was my sister or daughter I would tell them to laugh it off.
"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco
A peaceful Good Morning to U Gypsy... As u'v said that U find such messages funny and u laugh... DO U THINK that u will feel funny and could laugh again at the time when same messages received by your young daughter or sister... what whould be your feelings, Coz it Dosen't matter, what Part of the world and Believer u are U can not change the Human Nature and the Feeling is one of them.. we all feel same way, depiter of our belives and countries... Once a Crimnal is Always a Crimnal for Evryone, anywhere in the world, it dosen't matter how many believe them or support them...
i guess we can start a thread which will have all the messages to qatari and as of any specific members generally we will contact any person with a PM only to whom we know well enough.
or else we can see which thread he or she is commenting at tht momment.
n when it comes to asking somethin we can just start a new thread.
morning gyps (btw, what a shame i wasn't able to have chit chat with you from orion) :)
...this ain't just about me..this goes to everyone who are complaining about endless nasty/sleazy PM's...honestly, i could turn off my write PM function as simple as that, but then again, why would i shut off some of my friends from using this function only because of those "trolls?"...we are somewhat suggesting options here to advance our write PM's..make it exclusive to our list of buddies that's all..:)
[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]
see azilana that's what we were talking about, if this person is not on your buddylist he/she can't send you messages like this...and sadly that user turn off his/her write function hence non-availability for you to contact'em...and hmmmm, did you report this already?
[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]
?????????????????????
no.1 in qatar
www.ajayan.net
24h tel:4582888
Owen, after seeing the one you posted yesterday I can see why you get upset. They're very insulting, however I think they're more insulting to the losers who send them to you, then to you. These guys don't know you, and don't know what a beautiful and wonderful person you are. We all do. :) Just delete them and laugh.
"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco
Opened my inbox and this is what I got:
26 Oct 2007 - 23:27 surprise. new
From: rgreen
To: azilana7037
Subject: surprise.
Date: Fri, 26/10/2007 - 11:27pm
expect the unexpected just wait we're working on you. rohde girl.
Sender does not accept replies
--------
26 Oct 2007 - 23:24 slut of ql new
From: rgreen
To: azilana7037
Subject: surprise.
Date: Fri, 26/10/2007 - 11:27pm
expect the unexpected just wait we're working on you. rohde girl.
Sender does not accept replies
====================
So nice of Mrs. RGreen...really!!!
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. .-Bertrand Russell
I don't really see a problem. I find them funny when I get them and usually just laugh and ignore. I'm having a far larger problem with the PM's I receive on Facebook from all the Haberdash guys who are looking for freendship (up to 10 a day, maybe because they can actually see what I look like, whereas here most of the guys are scared off by my rather...um..."forcefull" attitude and assume I'm a 300lb lesbian :P). Annoying losers looking for a piece of tail is a problem all we women have to deal with in Qatar and unless we can figure out a way to get the Emir to bring in more women to the region, it's really just something we have to learn to live with.
"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco
Good morning everyone...what KE is saying here is the same idea with the recent topic created by our buddies are being shown to us on the right lower side of our screen if your are included in his/her buddylist...meaning, only users on our buddylist can access or can write PM's to one user (and vice versa)..in this way, trolls or newbies who just joined in for the purpose of seeking "dates" will have to request one user to add his/her on the buddylist..now its the users call (being requested upon) whether to add/deny them (by checking the profile first)
and we are all aware that we can just IGNORE/DELETE these kind of PM's..but as what KE said, after reading some of it "the damage has been done" you got insulted already or humiliated (emotion issues), which in some cases are hard to simply ignore, yup you can report and block 'em...but as from experience they will continue coming with different username which is really a bugger...
[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]
Com' on it's tooo much, this a site and PM shall not be blocked,
We have to life with it, there should have not problem with PM's
and wht will u do whn u will have to contact qatari (who runs this site) or any other specific member?
********************************************************
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Talha (1988-20??)
gud morning..
i think we should only be able to send PM's only to ppl in our buddy list.
tht way its gud for the female members who are gettin all dis stuff.
Peace on U Talha10... My Interest is to become an Idean Person, which is acceptable for all witin the society of people who knows how to abide the law of nature, My interest is searching common interests among humans and other creatures as well, since they are part of this universe and without their sharing and presence among us... the formation of human being could become in great Danger...
so what do u think what is the soultion?
********************************************************
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Talha (1988-20??)
qatari.. i guess wht KE said bout PM's to the buddy list onlyt is a gud idea coz ppl u know are anyways gonna be on ur frnds list .
and moreover even if u delete a user id these ass**** will just create one more.
Good Morning all..i am agree with Talha, qatari , scarlett & szafar ...best way is to block them , Ignore them & etc, Qatari i would like to highlight some thing about community guidelines yes they are there but unfortunately very less people are following them actually!! this is a very helpful site & we shouldn't ruin the beauty of it by fighting, insulting each other & posting controversial threads.
Have a nice day ahead :)
what r ur interests szafar?
coz u left it blank in ur personal profile.
lol
********************************************************
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors; but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
"Idiology"
makes us perfect to walk among the society, people, who have forgotten their Ideology or Without ideology does WHATEVER things they feel right for theirselves, and dislike Whatever is against their norms and values, this happens only because we encourages those by letting them do the same... if we stop them right away I assure u. it Dosen't matter how Strong and Stupid they are... They won't Dare to Do Such thing again...TRY NOW... and STOP them NOW...
Peace on those who Comply...
We all know that their R Two Genders Male and Fe-Male and their relations in our community Known as a Husband/Wife, Mother/Father, Uncle/Aunt, Son/Daughter, Brother/Sister, GrandFather/Grandmother etc...
keeping all the above respectful relations in mind;
One said that a person can do WHATEVER he likes? only he needs to Follow the Rules "Rules of WhatEver)
(I can give any other example beside the following, but i know this example will hit all of us equally.)
According to The Rules of Whatever a person can do whatever he like by allowing others to do the same... for an example if any person intend to have a sex with other person, must allow others to do the same to him or any oteher person associated to him... meanings... that If Someone (U) as a Male Candidate, Intend to have a Sex with any Fe-male, Which Must be related to someone as a Daughter, Moteher, Sister, Wife, Aunt, Grandmother etc... and does allow other male Candidate to do the same act with their own Daughter, Moteher, Sister, Wife, Aunt, Grandmother etc... then it is permissible in the society...
MY Question is from EVERYONE WHY we pass any comment and do anything Cheap which we do not accept for our selves. is this is fare... hope u understand and will refrain yourselves from being STUPID. Publically
Too bad some people can't grow up and be normal and find dates like everyone else...
Thanks for what you do for us on here..and good morning!!
There are many solutions to this issue. Unfortunately people are idiots and will continue to find a way to abuse free services (just like the tons of e-mail spam you already receive).
So, here are some solutions:
1. Disable PMs (as Talha suggested)
2. Ignore or Delete (as Scarlett and Swissgirl suggested)
3. Report the person who is soliciting you via the abuse form. Please include the message and username so the user can be banned.
Unfortunately restricting PM's to people on ones buddylist is conterintuitive to what we want to achieve. Heck, no one would be able to get hold of me if that was done. The private message system is to allow people to get hold of each other, ask for help etc.
If someone is abusing it just report them and they will be blocked. If you feel you are being overwhelmed then best to turn it off...
---
Please read our Community Guidelines before posting on Qatar Living. It will save us all a lot of pain :)
lovely thread on a not to lovely topic...
I think if there were a way to just put and BLOCK feature for QL..that would work quite well. I've met some of the nicest people who PMed me for the first time and I wasn't on their buddy list. I do understand the problems most women have on here with that..had a couple myself..but so far can either ignore or just delete without reading as the only option right now.
Actually..I think some of these people just need to get a life other than someone else's...
if u r fed up with the PM and don't want them anymore, thn do this its simple
click on my account/edit/ there will be an option saying private message setting
jst click on the box saying "Allow private messages" and u wil never get any PM frm any body
********************************************************
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors; but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Well,dont border yourself with this little issue.I think we all are old enough to deal with it.Just use the delete bottom and everything is done.I dont care about such messages.And i think there is no good way to stop them so the best thing is to ignore them.And by the way,sometimes they are funny too and make me smile.
:-D
Have a good day you too and
A WONDERFUL GOOD MORNING TO QL AND DOHA FROM COLD SWISS.
:-D
*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your
spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.
Keep the faith!*
That is why I said that there are different ways to communicate with people other than PMs. One would be through Contact tab under the user profile or any other way that you find it useful. Blocking those people won't stop them as unfortunately they will come again under new accounts and continue what they were doing before.
I noticed under the classifieds that most people are supplying their contact information such as mobile or e-mail address. There is also 'Write To Author' option which should be working under the classifieds as well as it is available only there.
Some people will come to say: Simply read those, ignore them, delete them. I know that they can do that, but how can you ignore the feeling that you've been insulted, hurt by someone that you don't know what have you done to him/her to deserve this? Believe me most of those PMs are not acceptable at all.
u r 100% ryt abt the PM problem.
but i think instead of making this feature unavailable, v can ask Qatari to block the users who r using PM's for other things. i am talking abt the guys whose names wer mentioned yesterday.
coz frm my point of view PM is the best and fastest way to cummunicate b/w users, if u dont have their contact no.
otherwise it will b vry difficult to contact ur friends in tym.
so wht do u think?
********************************************************
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors; but they all have to learn to live in the same box.