Play That Funky Music, White Boy!

shavonne clements
By shavonne clements

Let’s face it. We live in a multicultural society. While in the past, people were more likely to “stick with their own kind,” we are seeing a significant growth in interracial relationships. By integrating with different cultures and nationalities, we are doing away with the seeds of hate, racism, and prejudice.

Interracial couples may have recently become very popular, but are they really working?

Two people from two different backgrounds will likely experience a significant number of challenges.

Different cultures, customs lead to misunderstandings,pain and grief. And oh, language barriers (At least you can use swear words in your language)- "Say What?"

Opposites might attract, but can they really survive? I wanna hear it directly from the horses’ mouths, before I seriously plunge into one.

By starlight888• 7 Jun 2007 13:17
Rating: 3/5
starlight888

No bagoong, shirmp should be without shell, no fried fish... but instead of arguing with it, just go for it as long as he cooks.

Types of clothes, going or hanging out with friends.. no big deal either.. give him his space and he will give me mine. Respect and trust are very important.

For big arguments, compromise as soon as possible. Do or dont, leave or Stay.. that's it.

Nothing is really perfect, never perfect. How you deal with the circumstance matters. Men want to be in charge like Kings, and all the time we need to make them feel respected. But who gets the more moves??? It's the Queen!!! It is always the women who control the situation.

[img_assist|nid=17259|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=162|height=180]

**PEACE AND BE COOL**

By Apple• 7 Jun 2007 13:10
Apple

quote:

"I understood why this guy wants me to wear unrevealing clothes, don't go out with guys, don't go to the bar, don't drink. I can do that. BUt I am not happy."

If you are NOT happy w/ your relation to someone, the best thing is to cut your relation w/ him. Or else you wont be happy all your life. You should find or wait for someone who would allow you to go out w/ guys, go to the bar, to drink, wear revealing clothes, if that's make you happy. We only have 1 life to live, my dear. Dont make it miserable!

Believe me, majority of Arab Muslim guy have this attitude, and you can't change him w/ that attitude because that is part of their cultures and religion.

Good luck!;)

By andrew11121• 7 Jun 2007 12:54
Rating: 2/5
andrew11121

I have to agree totally with Gypsy. People break up all the time. Most relationships eventually fail, including, of course, relationships with people who are of the same ethnic background as you.

People don't break up because they're partner has darker skin, speaks with an accent, uses chopsticks or reads from right to left. They break up because eventually the differences between them become irreconcilable.

The truth is that people from the same ethnic background are more likely to view the world in the same way as you, which makes it more likely that these relationships will last longer, but if you find someone who is from a different ethnic background who not just loves you but is also to treat you in a way that makes you happy (and this of course means treating you in a way that you find culturally agreeable) then there is no reason why this relationship is any more likely to fail than one had with someone who is the same as you.

So to answer your question, I think opposites could work, but this will work best when deep down you share the same cultural values. For me as a westerner that would be, for instance, equality in all parts of the relationship, an agreed upon mix of independence and support for one another, monogomy and respect. These things may sound like basics to me, but the truth is that they aren't shared in all ethnic groups, and it certainly isn't for me to say what everyone should do!

By Gypsy• 7 Jun 2007 12:47
Gypsy

Shavonne, the Asian way of "marrying the whole family" is a problem a lot of my friends had when dating Korean girls, that and not being accepted as part of the family.

As for how to dump them? I don't know, I just stopped talking to this guy.

[img_assist|nid=13228|title=I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

By shavonne clements• 7 Jun 2007 12:41
shavonne clements

Gypsy wrote: "and we broke up pretty quickly because I found he didn't know how to speak or treat a women properly, he was very chauvinistic"

I think he is like your ex gypsy.

I understood why this guy wants me to wear unrevealing clothes, don't go out with guys, don't go to the bar, don't drink. I can do that. BUt I am not happy.

Most of the time when we have arguments, it's almost always like it's my fault in the end.He's so good at it.

So what is the best way to get out of this. How to break up with your BF? Lol, I think this is the best time, because he's currently in a looooong drive going home.

By shavonne clements• 7 Jun 2007 12:33
shavonne clements

Starlight, can he stand the smell of bagoong (salted fish or shrimp, similar to taste and odor of anchovy)?

how about the asian culture of "like marrying the whole family"?

What adjustments have you done so far.

By starlight888• 7 Jun 2007 12:18
Rating: 5/5
starlight888

Good or bad relationships happen because they are part of your destiny. Love speaks only one language...

Being in TOTALLY 2 different worlds nothing is easy. But respect, understanding and compromise are surely will be there if you are truly in love with each other and differences could be worked out without sweat.

Yes, every relationship is a work in process as quoted, there will always be problems.. give up and you lose it... there is where the choice comes.

Do and give your best and depended on God for everything.

[img_assist|nid=17259|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=162|height=180]

**PEACE AND BE COOL**

By Architect.J• 7 Jun 2007 11:39
Architect.J

^

^

^

WOAH! thts a lotta dates!!

"Drawing Is Thinkin Aloud" - Gehry

By Gypsy• 7 Jun 2007 11:00
Rating: 4/5
Gypsy

I don't think race is an issue but culture is. I've dated guys from many different races, but all of them were either born in the West or very Western minded. I could never date someone who was conservative or extremely religious.

For example, when I was living in Korea you often saw Western guys with Korean girls. Many of these relationships didn't work because of language barriers and simple cultural misunderstanding, neither side could truly understand the other. The relationships that did work were the ones with girls that had spent a long time in the West and came from very liberal Korean families, (or the ones were the western guy was just looking for some little Asian girl to push around and she was looking for a way out, but that's a whole other story).

In my case, I never dated a Korean because I never met one that I found I could relate too, often they were very very conservative (and the ones who weren't were already snatched up :P)and I cannot relate to a conservative person.

I've dated Arabs, but in all the cases, but one, the guys had spent a lot of time in the West and were pretty liberal (unfortunatly they were incapable of monogomy, and that's defintely a cultural problem amongst Arab men). In the one case were the guy hasn't spent much time in the West I had a difficult time and we broke up pretty quickly because I found he didn't know how to speak or treat a women properly, he was very chauvinistic.

Now, back home in Canada I've dated guys from different racial backgrounds but born and raised in Canada and never had any cultural problems whatsoever.

[img_assist|nid=13228|title=I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

By shavonne clements• 7 Jun 2007 10:50
shavonne clements

Lol ragnarok, maybe i forgot to include in-laws as a barrier?

meet the parents thing, the thought of it-makes me nervous.

By shavonne clements• 7 Jun 2007 10:41
shavonne clements

Though there are barriers and decisions that are made when choosing to step outside of one’s racial, religious or ethnic limits, once you get to know that person, it’s not about their race, culture, religion anymore. It’s about what the other person brings to the relationship.

I want to know the difficulties they have experienced, struggles and adjustments they did, to make it work out.

Every relationship is a work in progress.

By Ragnarock Raider• 7 Jun 2007 10:11
Rating: 5/5
Ragnarock Raider

IMHO, race has nothing to do with it. Background, values,etc.. have much more impact than skin color.

Case in point are 2 couples that are good friends of ours. Couple A are a Caucasian and Asian Candians who are like 2 pees in a pod. Couple B are a Black Canadian and her Senegalese Husband, and they can't agree on the color of the sky.

So it's not race, but culture that may affect the relationship...but then again couple B mentioned above couldn't be happier.

So in conclusion:

Love knows no race, religion, culture, age, or anything!

Find your soulmate and Be safe everyone.

Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?

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