Not so happily ever after....

britexpat
By britexpat

Like the rest of the world, divorces in India and Pakistan are on the increase. In India, there has been a 100% increase in divorce rates in the past five years alone.

So, are divorces on the increase due to financial pressures, empowerment of women or unreasonable expectations ????????????????????????

Most of those splitting up are members of India's thriving, urban middle class whose lives have been transformed by India's boom, and whose aspirations are radically different to those of their parents and grandparents.

The pressures of the modern workplace make a bigger difference, she thinks, than whether it was a traditional arranged marriage, or a so-called "love marriage".

"I feel people are concentrating more on the careers and less on their personal lives," she said.

Like wedding henna, Indian marriages are not always permanent these days "I also feel they lack patience and tolerance. They don't want to put more efforts into a relationship to fix the issues, and they feel that escapism is the solution."

Full article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-12094360

By plushed• 4 Jan 2011 11:33
plushed

Its about priorities and responsibility, or the lack of it (in divorce cases)

Prioritizing the marriage often occurs at the beginning but gradually changes.. maybe cuz of work or some factors.. thats when problem arises.

oftentimes, as the priorities change, the level of responsibility follows suit.

having a career for both husband and wife is not the problem, IMHO, its HOW you handle your marriage and your career. what is more important? what should you give more time to? who should step down if something happens?

By Amedeo• 4 Jan 2011 10:54
Amedeo

The root of marriage is having children. There is no other reason for it. It's to ensure that the male is around to provide for the family. Some historians believe it is the root of the development of farming. Which created a decline in health because of the unsuitability of the farmed food (recognize that today?) but ensured we men where around rather than off having fun chucking spears at anything than moved.

Unfortunately the female gets left holding the baby in many splits and is left to fend for themselves with the male divorcing himself not only from the partnership but also responsibility for his offspring.

By anonymous• 4 Jan 2011 10:17
anonymous

Absolutely,I don't want complications in my life. Marriage is like digging your own grave. I wanna live completely free,.I can say no whenever i want & no one will ever dictate me..nor have a hold on me..

By smoke• 4 Jan 2011 10:13
smoke

Yes and when that man gets boring you can dump him for another or vice versa without all the legal headaches.

By anonymous• 4 Jan 2011 10:04
anonymous

SMoke,exactly,that's what i want for myself..I don't wanna be tied up.I don't need a husband,I just need a man..

By britexpat• 4 Jan 2011 09:59
britexpat

In reality - there is.

In many countries, especially in Asia, the rights of inheritance, guradianship of children etc is dependent on marriage.

By somwerNdmiddle• 4 Jan 2011 09:51
somwerNdmiddle

right! live in is the ultimate solution :(

By smoke• 4 Jan 2011 09:45
smoke

Practically there is NO need for marriage when people are just doing everything that married people do without being married.

By devilboy777• 4 Jan 2011 09:45
devilboy777

The only solution -- Livin Relationship -- No strings attached --- No Hassels !!!

By somwerNdmiddle• 4 Jan 2011 09:44
somwerNdmiddle

the sanctity of marriage has been lost for quite some time now :(

By FathimaH• 4 Jan 2011 09:39
Rating: 5/5
FathimaH

in India and Pakistan but even in Sri Lanka there has been a soaring rate of divorces. Two of my closest friends got divorced a short time back and while one of them had a very valid reason the other simply divorced based on what I know was nothing short of common marital spats blown waaaay out of proportion(she admits this herself). I think of my own parents in comparison who stayed married for twenty eight years in a very turbulent marriage until finally throwing in the towel just a few years back as grand parents!While I don't support couples staying married under such obvious marital discords and mutual incompatibility years on end as it definitely causes much pain to them, their kids and those around them I also cannot support divorcing at whim! People today IMO are way to impatient, intolerant and full of high expectations and whilst having defects themselves cannot comprehend their partners imperfections .It pays to remember no human being is perfect and there are great blessings in being patient with one another specially in times of trial and stress which is inevitable in any marriage!

By smoke• 4 Jan 2011 09:38
Rating: 4/5
smoke

Traditions kept aside, we have to get with the times. Marriage is a ritual of religion and the legal system. People get married for many reasons, love, arranged, to make kids, etc.

We know that women these days are more educated and more independent, and everyone has the right to be happy with the person they are spending their life with.

By anonymous• 4 Jan 2011 09:37
anonymous

It's always been "I" "ME" "MYSELF",not "WE" "US",that's where the problem is.I'm not married,i can't say much but I do believe that when u marry someone,that person will become your reflection,u will be one..The problem is people are inclined to think about theirselves,their wants,their needs.I mean,there's nothing wrong in loving ourselves but we must also be sensitive enough to the people in our lives at some point. There will always be unhappiness in solitude. Marriage is concomitant with disappointments and hurt,which only means that If you accept that all of us can be hurt,that all of us would experience failure,And live a simple rule which is IF YOU CAN TAKE THE WORST,TAKE THE RISK,then life would be simplified. Some people jump into marriage unprepared,just like jumping to a swimming pool without water..People are careless,it's natural but not all are brave enough & have enough courage to face the denouement of their actions & decisions.

By somwerNdmiddle• 4 Jan 2011 09:19
somwerNdmiddle

good point PS, it's always the 'I' and not the 'We' part anymore :(

By anonymous• 4 Jan 2011 09:15
anonymous

The problem with people nowadays is they put their agendas before the welfare of the relationship...

By Formatted Soul• 4 Jan 2011 08:41
Rating: 4/5
Formatted Soul

Women these days are financially more independent... they don’t need a man just to feed them... so if the marriage is not working they just get divorced.. unlike olden days women stick to bad marriages bcos they cant go back to their house and be a burden to their parents. And raising kids were not easy...of late marriage is the least priority...and Divorcee is no more taboo in the East..

By Archicon• 4 Jan 2011 08:36
Rating: 3/5
Archicon

India and pakistan are adopting the western culture and they think that they are very modern and civilized............!!!!!

By somwerNdmiddle• 4 Jan 2011 08:26
somwerNdmiddle

because marriage is not a toy that when you see something wrong or gets damaged you just throw it away and get a new one.

By Arien• 4 Jan 2011 08:22
Arien

SNM - exactly

By blue_rose• 4 Jan 2011 08:15
Rating: 2/5
blue_rose

i agree divorce rate in increasing in pakistan and india..and last lines of this article are so true..

By somwerNdmiddle• 4 Jan 2011 07:54
somwerNdmiddle

"I also feel they lack patience and tolerance. They don't want to put more efforts into a relationship to fix the issues, and they feel that escapism is the solution." - This is very true!

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