My favourite article of the day :)
From today's Gulf Times.
Woman calls for marriage bureausPublished: Wednesday, 6 August, 2008, 01:38 AM Doha Time
By Anwar Elshamy
ALARMED by the rising number of single women in Qatar, Um Khaled, a traditional Qatari matchmaker, has called for the establishment of certified marriage bureaus in the country.
Um Khaled, who is mainly devoted to finding suitable partners for women whose marriage chances are little, said that opening authorised bureaus would help women who have no chance for mixing with men either at the workplace or at educational centres, to find a suitable partner.
“I feel I have a duty toward those with special needs,” Um Khaled told Gulf Times. “For that reason I have decided to devote myself to those with special needs, widows and orphans and finding them suitable partners. It is not an easy job for these categories to find suitable partners without a helping hand from a matchmaker,” she said.
However, she does not mind receiving marriage applications from normal people too as long as “this would contribute to finding a solution to the problem or at least easing its magnitude”.
According to her, the rising number of unmarried women may pose serious social problems which would threaten “our value system; for that reason I hope that the state will intervene and certify bureaus providing matchmaking services”.
She dismissed the notion that Qatari men were marrying non-Qataris because of exaggerated dowry demands.
“It is not true that the huge amount of dowry or the general cost of marriage is the reason why many Qatari men opt for non-Qatari brides,” she said.
“Most of those who marry non-Qatari girls mainly look for white-complexioned partners. I know many Qatari families who will accept any marriage proposal for their daughters as long as the groom is a good man who can provide for his family,” she explained.
“I have some 3,000 applications for unmarried girls seeking life partners compared to only four from men,” she added.
Asked about the qualities that Qatari men look for while choosing partners, she said that physical beauty was the main criteria for most of the Qatari men.
“Most of the young Qatari men look for girls who are beautiful and slim. But now under the pressure of the rising cost of living, some of them look for an employed partner who can bring a monthly salary,” she said, while observing that even some dark-complexioned youngsters were insisting on finding a fair bride.
Asked about the reasons behind the rising number of unmarried women in the country, she said that both the tribal-orientated attitudes toward marriage and the male-dominated society constituted the main obstacles to the solution of the problem.
“One problem is that some Arab tribes refuse any marriage proposals from the sons of those of a non-Arab origin. Another problem is that the choice of a life partner is not solely in the hands of the girl in most of the Muslim countries, including Qatar,” she said.
“A girl cannot ignore the opinion of her male relatives, including the father and the brother who generally have absolute power over the issue,” she added.
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Ok regardless of the rest of the article I LOVE how they refer to unmarried women as those with "special needs" and married women as "normal". LOL
Banns read...Then we can move on..
Perhaps I'll take it on as a full time hobby..
Any other volunteers..
They actually had an official match making bureau here back in 2003 or I think it was, there used to be an office near the corniche and behind souq waqif. Other wise there's always gulf time's classified section, where some Indian (no offences, cuz thats all I ever found in it) is always looking for a bride.
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Norton Anti-virus cant keep draculas and T-viruses away, "G-lik" can ;), get yours today :D.
I know :P I've already registered with the woman, I'm hoping she'll find me a nice man ;)
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I am really really sorry about this.. I hope I didn't offend you.. I just re-read your last post and you bsay that "you are mental".. That means that you fall in the special needs category... Don't you!
I alway picture some dried up old woman with a lot of cats. I only have one cat, I'm not a spinster yet. :P
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lol,mightynurse :)
Ok Honestly I dont understand why Spinster is offensive. So Gypsy is a what? A bachelorette? :)
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
a spinster is a horrible word, its like an old school teacher or someone that eats from the furry plate but a nice way of saying it.......I was a spinster for long enough so I'm an ex spinster now.....
Yes agree to the SPECIAL NEED though.
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
This article was a good laugh around our office too. The use of language is appalling, especially the use of the word ‘normal’. So PC…
I loved the bit about Qatari men not really wanting to marry Qatari women, resulting in the surplus of single Qatarias.
Perhaps the parents that effectively lock their daughters up to prevent them from mixing with other men, don’t realise the dreadful impact it is happening on their daughter’s happiness. These poor girls will never find husbands in this situation.
And I especially loved the comment about Qataris wanting to marry educated, wage-earning Qatarias too, because even they are suffering from the rising cost of living. Gone are the days of these spoiled Qatarias wafting around shopping centres buying handbags and shoes all day long. Now they’re expected to *shock* work!!
I know that someonenew, it's just really funny that she refers to them as people with "special needs" I don't know I found it funny. I don't consider being ugly a special need.
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You only said that because you're in Bahrain and she can't get to you..
By the way..Spinster..
1. a woman still unmarried beyond the usual age of marrying.
2. a woman who has never married.
3. a woman whose occupation is spinning.
Could she be the latter ??
Punch me if yer can girly !!
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NIL ILLEGITIMI CARBORUNDUM
and that dish dash does nothing for him, he looks far better in jeans! Bless him.....
Well its not just they are single Gypsy... It's that they are single becasue of some reason(being a widow or an orphan or not being beautiful or something like that) and in this part of the world like supernurse pointed out its big deal to be not married at 30. And these unmarried women really wanna get married(for whatever reason) and she's trying to help them.
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
difference is that he is a prince !!!
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No the confusion lies in the way the woman was quoted and the way the story is written. In that if you read it properly she's referring to single women as those with "Special Needs", which isn't what she meant. There's a grammer problem.
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I think getting married is very important but would prefer to be a 'spinster' than in a loveless relationship.
Call me romantic but I prefer to be married for love than social duty.
Dont analyse the GT too much..... it isn't the Guardian or the Times
I agree with Oryx in terms of poor language skills (rather translation skills). The reason why there is so much of confusion is becasue Gypsy is not really from this part of the world. I'm sure the lady is trying to help the women who're not married becaue they're not good looking or they have special needs or whatever. The point is that she's trying to help people who are not married to get married... Question to all the people who are arguing... what if these people with special needs really want to get married and are unable to? Just because you dont think getting married is important doesnt mean that other feel the same way too....
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
We both have the same number of ears, eyes, brows and dangly bits.
He may be younger, but I may be wiser...
Wouldn't ladies go for maturity???
am sure there will a big queue of QL male for your blessings.. lol
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Good for you! Hope the wee one is keeping you on your toes and keeping you busy..
By the way, I've heard of women looking at the cover of GQ for men, but GT!
He does fill out a t-shirt and a pair of jeans nicely RROOOWWRRR :P
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I would rather call you girl with special need...ROFL
I really wonder if getting Married is a
Well everyone who knows me knows I am mental ;P
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quick hijack sorry but I thought that Sheikh Tamim looked dashing on the front page of the GT......
Sorry, sorry....
which generally covers Qatar top news also and their website is updated with latest news every min.
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I think this article is more indicative of the rubbish standard of English that the Gulf Times journalists have...
Remember that interview would have been in Arabic...
Every article in that paper...has erroneous collocation... that is sticking words together incorrectly in one sentence....all they need to do is buy a decent dictionary.
Really we should be getting better newspapers by now!
I know if I get called a spinster one more time I'm going to punch someone.
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Well, I would say the middle east, cos I know single friends here that have the same 'you are dodgy or infertile' treatment.....
Britexpat, thankfully I did make the right choice and I've gone one better to be normal a popped a bun out of the oven lol
maybe the 'special needs' ladies are ladies that require special needs such as more than 5 inches and a husband that cooks,cleans and irons....thats pretty special I would say!!
In which culture unmarried woman over 25 is considered as 'Dodgy' ? you mean in UAE ?
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Good posting.. Seems there's hope for all those other "on the shelf" over thirty females..
Hope your choice was a wise one..:0)
here the discussion is that some people says in the article above they classified UNMARRED WOMEN as SPECIAL NEED people.
Whereas I read it in a different way but till not no one has answer to my above post :
http://www.qatarliving.com/node/162322#comment-527386
Correct me If i am wrong !
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an unmarried woman over 25 years is considered dodgy, in my experience working in Abu Dhabi as a singe 30year old I was always questioned by my female patients why I wasn't married, was there something wrong with me? Was I infertile? Did I not like men? How come I didn't have any children? I told them I had many men at the same time I was just taking a long time to choose.........Its ok now I'm married phew! Normal now!!
I pray and hope that the girl finds happiness in her life!
someonenew.. nope. you now categorize as "normal".. :D
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
I'm married. Does that mean I'm not SPECIAL anymore? :)
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
I pray for her health and wish she lives a normal life soon..
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SPEED, I got the same glasses on as U, I am understanding and taking it word to word, and not using my own opinions, and I can actually relate to it in a sense that a family I am friends with have a daughter who has got a slight physical disabilitliy, all her sisters are married and no one has ever mentioned anythign about her, which bothers me so much because the girl is not mentally disabled, but I guess the family know that chances of her getting proposals are very low or maybe not there. So if such a service is offered, I personally would go and put an application for her....oh and someoen mentioned something about "special need schools/place", yes there are schools for these ppl, as the same girl i mentioned, attends an Islamic school for "special needs women".
but no one has replied to my above post regarding SPECIAL NEED ?
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In Islam Dowry concept is very simple and clear but this is become more of tradition and SHOW OFF thing in marraiges, therefore people are getting more in trouble due to not following the Islamic system.
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Its only we Muslims, that made it difficult for our marriage. Dowry is not necessary to be skyhigh.
In my place, a dominant Muslim area in the Philippines...dowry also become a big issue in marriages which I personally view it wrong!
Our man and his parents have to take a loan from here and there just to cover the expenses of marriage and dowry of course, then after the marriage....both the bride and the groom paid and settle the loans, loool! then who enjoyed the dowry?...hmmmm the parents, brothers, uncles, and other relatives.
Poor bride, tsk tsk tsk:(
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Is your system the same as your neighboring Arab countries? Sorry, just curious to know:))
what Um Khaled said in her interview is correct that Qatari men are talking interst toward Expat women due to dowary and another reason is Beauty of a women.
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In Lebanon we have the same system. Even worse. At least here the kids are treated like Qatari citizens when it comes to public sector employment. In Lebanon they are considered foreigners.
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
They need approval from the Ministry:( and if they work for the Govt., that is near to impossible? especially with the surplus of unmarried woman??
My point is....at least to give the kids a dual citizenship. Is it not possible?
not necessary to be second wife.
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They also allow Qatari man to marry non-Qatari wife, provided the man is old, disabled or already had a Qatari wife, which means you're the 2nd,3rd or 4th wife:(
ahhh, even am not yet married, NO thanks!
But this system is not only followed here, rather almost everywhere in the Arab countries
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
Arabs to marry.
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We have a friend born here, his mother is Qatari and father is from Yemen, whole family is here (Dad, Mom, Brod & Sis), he got deportation for some reasons(I dont know) and he was deported to Yemen!
The kids can never get the passport of their mother:(
calssified as SPECAIL NEEDS ???
Please help me read with your glasses :-)
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===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
Wow. This article is kind of funny. I can't believe that woman can justify what she's saying and the sad thing is that she's a woman. It's not even a man calling other "normal" women people with special needs. What's next?
Why not accept marriage proposal from non-GCC Arabs to marry those with "special needs" ;)
1) “I feel I have a duty toward those with special needs,”
Um Khaled told Gulf Times. “For that reason I have decided to devote myself to those with
1) special needs,
2) widows and
3) orphans and finding them suitable partners. It is not an easy job for these categories to find suitable partners without a helping hand from a matchmaker,” she said.
1) Yes she means SPECIAL NEEDS - )Those women who are disable, mentally weak but with support they might lead to normal life )
Second para she again repeated 1) SPECIAL NEED, 2) WIDOWS and 3) ORPHANS
These are the categories she was talking about and wish to help those women who fall under these categories.
I might me worng but this is what I understand what she meant !!!
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why not go the whole hog and say "old maid" lol grrrrrr
OH OH OH britexpat you just mentioned my OTHER beef with the Gulf times. GRRRRR>
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You're right.. They should use the word "Spinster"
Lol, thats funny.
evening Draccy... :) Let us not to hijack the thread. :) at least not at that point..:)
Why they wouldn’t apply “qatarization” to this matter? Priority must be given to Qatari gals.. so first all of these 3000 unmarried must be given away and no one left aside, and only then fair-skinned gals can form the queue and wait for their turn…
Or even better, to replace non-qatari wives by the qatari ones, so that all the work places.. ops sorry… “wives” places would be given to Qataris …
and why not??? lol
lol...nxt thing u know,they might refer to married men as 'housebroken" and single ones as "free-range"
'evening beautysun!
I HATE it when anyone refers to single women as anything Less then normal GRRRRRRR> :P
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lol.. when i was reading this article in the morning, it crossed my mind: that one is a GYPSY'S favorite theme...lol....
I thought that was Haram?
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NIL ILLEGITIMI CARBORUNDUM
You had your chance in Qatar... you blew it;-)
You would have to head to UAE next, if Bahrain doesn't pan out......
"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME
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Sorry, but the ladies of Qatar will have to wait, till ive finished my search here in Bahrain.
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NIL ILLEGITIMI CARBORUNDUM
I'm not disagreeing with that, it is a good cause. I disagreeing with the terminology used.
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its a good cause... peace
Hashin from the context of her quote and the context of the rest of the article (I.e. men are looking for "fair" females or ones with money) she is NOT referring to people with actual disabilities but rather single women in general (past a certain age, I'm sure).
Also if you read what else I said, I have no doubt that's probably not the exact translation of what she said, judging by previous articles printed by the Gulf Times I rather think it's their judgement then her's.
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don't people with special needs have difficulty in mixing with men at workplace or education centers... it fits in... try wearing MY glasses and then read the article...
So we take off our glasses and look at it from the worst possible angle, isn't it... ?
What is it in this article which suggest that when she said special needs... she meant divorced or have children or from the right race?
She deserves to be applauded, not ridiculed...
First of all Hashin, she does not clarify that she is speaking about women with physical or mental disabilites IN FACT she says she is talking about widows, orphans, and women who don't have the chance to socialize with men because of their jobs. which do not classify as special needs.
The use of the term special needs is not appropriate in this case and is actually quite humerous.
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You talk about those 'needy' women needing to go to the gym...
Your comment reveals your prejudice against fat people...
She says...
“I feel I have a duty toward those with special needs,”
So she wants to help women who have mental, phsychological or physical disabilities find partners...
She clarifies it even further by refering to them as 'categories who need a helping hand'
“For that reason I have decided to devote myself to those with special needs, widows and orphans and finding them suitable partners. It is not an easy job for these categories to find suitable partners without a helping hand from a matchmaker,”
She says that she received marriage applications from normal applicants... meaning applicants who are unmarried but do not have special needs or are widows or orphans...
I do not see what you are making a fuss about. This lady is doing a social service... this is very apparent cos if she had her personal interests, she wouldn't be helping specifically the people who find it difficult to get married...
Such people should be applauded... not made fun of... grow up...
misused the term of special needs here ... They can say women with little chances of getting married, women facing difficulties in getting married ...
I did not get what do they mean by women with special needs???? Maybe the guy should meet some points to be qualified, maybe those are the special needs in the man that the woman wants.
I guess some of their women are having difficulties getting married because they are a little bit in a late age, divorced or something like that ... but calling the m special needs women ???? That makes it sound like a women going to that office on wheel chairs ...
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)
hmmm what i understood from reading the article, I think "special need" women is actually being referred to women with disabilities becuase she did say "I have decided to devote myself to those with special needs, widows and orphan" and she included "she does not mind receiving marriage applications from normal people too as long as “this would contribute to finding a solution to the problem or at least easing its magnitude". if she was referring to normal as married than why would a married women be signing marriage applications? I know in this culture and many other culture women with special needs are almost consider non existence, thier physical disability is almost taken as mental disability, liek they have no feelings or emotions. So if read this artical posetivly, this lady is actually trying to do some good.
and only 4 men?
clearly the men don't have 'special needs'. They must be getting there needs serviced elsewhere.....
"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME
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Odds are good for the 4 guys though versus the 3000 ladies!! If only the quality was there .............;o)
I'm not against Umm Khalid and her noble endeavor. I'm on a different page here.. Culture and women!
Even in the west, unmarried women in so many ways are referred to as "old maids" and more...
The intensity of ostracizing and branding women in the Arab world in very thick! and women are the ones who’re branding their peers of the same gender!
that mean that the main Post Office is a special needs establishment.........or have the attendants improved?
highlights the problems faced by women in this society. Its mainly to do with culture..
Many years ago, we in the West shunned divorced women..
Perhaps she used the word "special needs" unwisely, or the translator misused it..
Having worked in the Gulf and Asia, I can relate to what she is saying.. The women here face problems, we in the West wouldn't even comprehend..
A man stays a man for GOOD. A woman has to have a label!! based on age, martial status, appearance or don't know what else!
It’s a man’s world!
She wasn't quote here:
However, she does not mind receiving marriage applications from normal people too as long as “this would contribute to finding a solution to the problem or at least easing its magnitude”.
They were paraphrasing her, which meant they could and should have changed the wording.
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on the shelf, passed our sell by date. etc etc, c'mon all you girls with special needs get married!!!! lol
After menopause we're called at the "Desperate Age" سن اليأس and when unmarried we’re branded as with "Special Needs"..:) the best is yet to come.
!!!
As Samya clarified, Umm Khalid was quoted. These are not the words of the GT staff.
Salam
that jumped out at me too, special needs, and normal, what a load of old bull
Dont know where to start with this article which I also read this morning - there is so much material worthy of ridicule here.... oustanding to my mind is;-
"Asked about the qualities that Qatari men look for while choosing partners, she said that physical beauty was the main criteria for most of the Qatari men.
“Most of the young Qatari men look for girls who are beautiful and slim. But now under the pressure of the rising cost of living, some of them look for an employed partner who can bring a monthly salary,” she said, while observing that even some dark-complexioned youngsters were insisting on finding a fair bride."
Cake and eat it anyone??
It's no excuse, the Managing Editor and the Assistant Editor are both Western, unless they don't read their front page articles.
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Its the culture.. they dont see life complete or feasible ahead without a family.. Its mandatory to get a good alliance. Now those who are not getting an alliance is in trouble..so its sort of a service she is doing which should be appreciated.
The term used is funny ''special needs''.. sounds like they need a therapyst or a pathologyst to sort the problem.
Its Um Khaled that refered to those ladies as those with "special needs".
“I feel I have a duty toward those with special needs,” Um Khaled told Gulf Times. “
Special needs obviously isn't as well known a term here for people with disabilities. For example, in our compound club house they have a notice informing people how to call an ambulance in an emergency, and to give them directions they suggest something along the lines of;
Near the school for people with special needs ("handicaps")
I'm not sure what's more offensive; calling them handicaps or putting it in quotation marks!
I'm personally going to start a campagin against the way the Gulf Times refers to single women. It's disgraceful.
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since when? special needs synanymous to unmarried women? so how do they refer to them if the unmarried women really got some disability? "ultra-special women?"... :/
to special women out there.. try to lower the dowry and work so you would attract more application.. :P
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
I'm still laughing, for me special needs is someone with a disability to! I never knew not being able to find a man was a disability....I wonder if this means they/I can apply for some kind of disability insurance. :P
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There a special needs school behind our compound. I had assumed it was for people with learning difficulties and given it no more thought, but perhaps it's where they keep all these women who are looking for a man!
Keep that one for posterity Gypsy.
Oh my. From where I come from "special needs" refer to those who have issues may it be psychological or physical. Damn, it's a bit harsh to label unmarried women like that..
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╬ Don't look back in anger, Sally. ╬
Yeah i read that this morning... I didnt know they had such a thing over here... :)