'Mother- in- law wrecked marriage'
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An Italian man got a divorce after a few months claiming his mother-in-law was making life ''hell''.
He then thought of finding an orphan to replace his first wife.
''The marriage lasted just four months but it was hell,'' said 36-year-old accountant P.A. after a church annulment was ratified by a civil court on the Amalfi Coast.
''I thought all the stories about terrible mothers-in-law were made up but I was forced to think again. There's no point describing everything I suffered, you have to go through it yourself,'' said P.A, who went into the marriage after a pre-nup agreement that his fiancee's mother wouldn't interfere in their lives.
''After the separation I was hoping to meet a woman whose mother had died so I wouldn't have to relive that experience. Thank God I've found the right woman and a kind and understanding mother-in-law''.
The ex-wife, 31-year-old G.M.C, told the court that her mother had only intervened when her former husband treated her badly.
''My husband never took care of me or our daughter. The months of marriage were terrible because of the unacceptable behaviour of a man who was supposed to love and respect me.
''My mother wasn't interfering, she was worried about her daughter's physical and psychological state''.
The woman, who has yet to remarry, said her mother ''didn't do anything that any other responsible parent wouldn't have done''.
You know, this thread has affected me. I had not seen my mother for 6 years before this but last night I went to see her.
Guys, listen to your parents. Most of the time they just love you. Mostly all they want the best of you. I thank who ever started this. It has saved me from a lifetime without a mother. Now when I get to Qatar and get a job, live my life, without my wife, I will now not feel guilty that I lost my mother also.
Thanks guys. Really I mean it. this has been wonderful.
Hey, you know what, I have had a think about this. I think the mother was right. If a marriage can degenerate like this and this fast, the gut was not up to much was he. If he was not going to fight for his girl then he must have wanted things his was or no way. Maybe or maybe not, who really knows but you can live with someone for years or minutes and either way, you can still not know them at all. I tink in retrospect that she had a lucky escape but I am skewing this by my own experience. My ma tried to rell me for years and I never listened. I shuned her for years as I thought that she was being interfering. At the end of the day what does any parent want for their kids, but the best. There is going to be the odd occasion but in the main, yes, I think parents are usully right. Usually. In my case my mother was right and I refused to listen, and that is the fault of most children. Parents, God bless them.
Talk about forcing someone to shun her own mother in exchange of a marriage...
I wonder if he banished his own mother as well, or any of his immediate family?
I agree parents have a tremendous amount of influence over their children. Its called noblisse oblige. A beautiful word.
That is the key, To let them find out them selves but with me it took fifteen years to relaise the lies. I am not sure we can generalise. Some marrages need to be left alone and sometimes mother (or father) is right.
Who can say, but if you have god in your heart, you will get through it. At least I prey I will, but this is not about me, what I am saying is parents need to judge whe to step in and when not to but also how to go about it. Not sure any onf us have the answers here.
if the couple get a chance to have some privacy may be their marriage survive...
Apologies to any one if what I said hit a raw nerve. No harm intended.
/Always 3 sides to a story - his side, her side and the actual truth.
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Life is short. Live it to the fullest!
A typical divorce story.
wow he gave his marriage a "whole 4 months", very patient of him.
package deal eh??i thought it is a no return, no exchange vow...:(
they learn well now i guess..:)
Well said pierrot
Giving some support by allowing us to make our own mistakes is sometimes the best help.
So sorry to hear about your divorce. That must be worse then death.
It is not just the woman's mother that sometimes gets in the way. I am the male sode of my Marrage and my wife's mother had past away before I met her but my own mother interfered and finally got her way years later but I guess it was from a misguided sence of wanting what is best,,,,,what she forgot was,,,,I was an adult living my own life and mistakes but would not leave things alone. Most parents should support their kids as best they can but need to know where the line of interfering is, but sadly they do not. I am getting divorsed and moving to Qatar where I will have no family to "help" me along my way. I can then live my life and I would never try and live someone elses or impose my rules on someone. Let God intervean if need be but sometimes you are not helping by helping.
"Elementary , my dear eaglemmanuel" .. How did you deduce so much from the short story ??
No scorn like a mothers scorn.
well I love my mother in law.. but it is a war trying to keep that love alive and give her rights.. that she doesn't give me.
And it is truly one of my greatest sorrows. May Allah preserve her and cause her to have love for me InshAllah ameen.
I just will NEVER understand some ppl!!!
_
Eagle: If I ever need to pick my way out from a problem thru a legal loophole...I'll come to you to be my counsel...You sure seem to know ur way around with interpreting stuff!! ;)
Actually, he did know the MIL was part of the package deal - he ensured that the pre-nup stated she wouldn't interfere in their lives. The wife said he didn't take care of her and the child - what it sounds like is, he got her pregnant and then girl's mother must have "forced" him to marry the girl so the child would have a father legally. Note that the marriage only lasted 4 months and during that time, there was a child. Start counting.
What the cad is, is an irresponsible scum. And a pre-nup? The poor girl must have been so emotionally distressed that she was willing to sign anything and to be stuck in a jam with a mercenary, selfish, low down, etc.@#!! I pity the other poor girl who's now involved with him. She may think all is hunky dory for now, but a leopard does not change its spots. All the money or good looks (assuming he had any) in the world is not worth that sorry excuse for a man.
/Having said that, not all men are like that cad. Most are not. This one just takes the cake, and has earned his moment of infamy.
//Alternative possibility - the child was not his and the ex-wife was sleeping around and thus, he didn't feel the need to be responsible? Yeah, hogwash. If he wasn't responsible, he wouldn't have married her at all. Much less think up a pre-nup agreement - pre-meditation. He had enough time to think, plan and strategize. I've changed my mind. He's lower than a scumbag. The plan looks like get the pre-nup so easier to prove in court the minute the MIL tried to protect her daughter. "Interference" can be interpreted in many ways.
If the mother was defending her daughter (the ex-wife) against that useless husband, she might have been aggressive too, and that's easily interpreted as "interference". A few of those instances and reference can be made to the pre-nup, stating that it was agreed upon that upon these conditions happening, both parties agree to a divorce being granted.
- Hey, did the ex-wife's lawyers think up undue influence and duress, negating actual consent / agreement to that pre-nup, thus arguably making it void?
- But on 2nd thoughts, poor girl might just want to let it go, put this behind her and get on with life, which would be wise, I guess.
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Life is short. Live it to the fullest!
yeah right paul but WTF is this guy? he doesn't know the true meaning of responsiblity! the one to remarry this guy will be turned upside-down! now, who's the "unlucky" girl?
Well most of the motrher-in-law problems happen coz the children dont have a spine
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
when he vowed "for better or for worse" he should have known the mother-in-law is part of the package deal.
cheers,
paul