men. men, men, men men - had enough!

But you explained it far better than I did when I tried to on one occasion in here.

Cheers!

OK you all agree this has to be stoped but nobody wanted to find out how to do it. at least I know how you should deal with Drivers who are asking you get in to his car. The remedy if as follows but you have spend sonme of your time to deal with him and teach him a lesson he will never forget.

If the driver is harrasing you go near the car write down his car plate no. make sure he see that you are writing his car no. better still if you have a MOBILE PHONE CAMERA take a picture of the car with licence plate clearly visible.

Next got to Central Security Division Next HSBC and talk to the Officer-in-charge. They all speek good English and he will direct you to the relevent police station. When you go there meet the officer -in-charge of the station. He already knows you are coming and will direct you an English speeking officer to write down your complain properly.

Then they will ask you whether you want give him a warning or file a case. In this case i will press charges aginst him. They will find who the culprrit is and bring him to the station next day. They will find out who is saying the truth and If they suspect him of harrasment he will be end up with a Government hotel with free food for few days (more or less 1 week)until initial hearing.

I tested this method twice and done wonders for me. (ALTHOUGH NOT HARRASSEMENT). This is one official way and there are several un-officials ways to deal with these perverts

Oryx and Serendipity,

By compassion, I was referring specifically to the emailing that can hardly be seen as harassing unless the text is particularly so; and more to a feeling than any demonstration thereof.

As to my reaction or lack of it to staring and such, I am no traffic light. I am a grown woman too and one who does not believe that any and all attention from men is inherently suspicious, dangerous by definition and leading to sorry consequences.

I am not 'misleading' anyone, or going around flirting with random guys. Of course there are boundaries. But I am slightly concerned that for some people, the definition of harassment is awfully strict and the range of acceptable behaviour is awfully narrow.

To me, this kind of 'over-criminalizing' of human behaviour confers a victim mentality.

I still believe that attitudes count and that direct and respectful behaviour _usually_ begets a similar response.

Remember, I am not referring to anything comparable to assault, rape, and other heinous crimes that do occur. These crimes unfortunately exist in all societies, but the disturbed people who commit them are a small minority and the guys giving a glance in your direction at the mall would most likely find them just as appalling as you do.

I totally agree with charmed and Oryx.

Person, when you say this: "You have to have just a little bit of compassion for the thousands of guys in Qatar who are so lonely they will try and find company any way they can, even a slightly questionable one."

I believe it's potentially setting a quite dangerous precedent.

I agree with Oryx about 'nipping things in the bud'.

By way of contrast, I think your idea about "compassion" is quite misguided Person.

What you think of as demonstrating compassion and understanding to the thousands of guys who are lonely, they may misinterpret as a 'green light'. Even if you think you are being neutral, i.e. displaying an 'amber light' some people might misinterpret a lack of objection as an indication of an invitation.

And what's compassionate anyway about misleading the poor guys? If you feel sympathy and compassion about their plight, isn't there a danger that humouring and indulging this kind of low level harassment leads them to feel hopeful? That's not behaving compassionately towards them in my mind, those mixed messages or no messages, that's adding to their feelings of frustration.

It's far better to establish the boundaries. That's the more compassionate approach as far as I'm concerned. Don't let your lack of objection lead to them interpreting that as ambiguous or, worse, an invitation.

And I'm curious, Person. Why do you reserve your compassion for the unaccompanied males?

What about sparing a bit of compassion for the women who face a daily barrage of harassment? What about having a little bit of compassion and understanding for the women who wish to go about their daily lives without being subjected to catcalls and leering and (in a small number of cases, actual assaults and rape)?

Are the expatriate women in Qatar undeserving of compassion, and respect?

Charmed - spot on 100% agree

I obviously have a different definition of harrassment to Person.

I find by bitter experience I MUST 'nip things in the bud' because ignoring has NEVER led to someone politely going away...

also I feel I have a duty to make a strong stance because I am a grown women and if I don't scare people off and show them strongly it is unacceptable behaviour then their next target maybe a young girl.

so person next time you ignore think of the message you are sending and who they may harass next... because your taciturn approach was misinterpreted and helped them believe it is ok to behave that way...

i dont see this surprising with the way culture acts here in qatar.

just my 2 cents :)

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To conquer without risk is to triumph without glory

i have had more than my fair of stalkers out here, and the ignoring them doesnt work, i made the mistake once of smiling at someone who stared at me he then promplty thought hey i can stalk her!!

i cant be bothered to argue this one - or even argue on this site anymore! all i can say im glad person you can deal with this in such a way that you do and that works for you thats great and your happy so even greater! Well done you!

im just tired of it been out here too long and tired of this whole place really! hey ho!

[img_assist|nid=13270|title=Love Life|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=113]

love life!

u said the right thing .. i like the way u think, that's wut i call deal with the situation without troubling urself or others

___________________________________________________

God Damn people, they destroyed the beauty of life

Teacher, you love your daughter and i love you, which also means that i love your daughter.

:P

greeker! i like her too! ;-)

I like you, i really do!

Why do you get so upset about people just looking at you? Yes I know some people don't look in a nice way but that doesn't bother me, I can safely ignore them with no harm done. Do you actually think it is rude to look at someone in general?

Personally, as long as a random man is not shouting obscenities or actually trying to touch me, they can stare all they want and then some. Be proud of what yer mama gave ya! I don't even mind catcalls; sometimes, they make me smile. And no, I do not understand why some women get so terribly offended by drivers tooting or flashing lights when passing (if they stop and make inappropriate suggestions that's another thing).

As for the email solicitations of 'friendship', most of this does not contain offensive wording and we are free to ignore it (I never respond to any messages of this type; but it is a bit worrying that some people are desperate enough to send their full name, address and phone numbers to someone they don't have any idea about). You have to have just a little bit of compassion for the thousands of guys in Qatar who are so lonely they will try and find company any way they can, even a slightly questionable one.

We are all people, and being attracted to other people is something we have in common. Compared to some places where I've lived, I think most approaches in here have been quite polite; that said there are always some genuine freaks out there and it is good to be careful.

So, to the guy offering a lift, a polite no thank you.

To the desperate messenger, deletion.

To the starer, going ahead unfazed with my own business.

To the schoolboys waving from a car, a wave back.

To the grabber and the intimidating stalker, the police.

;)

I will lend you Korin.... the way he grabs, grips and hangs on to his pray, I am sure he will only need to go with you once... and they will never come near again....

for a 10 week old puppy... his protections skills are amazing already... would love to get him on a manwork helper... sure that they would be suitably impressed by his bite...

Bravo !! clap ...

Charmed was talking about the way to deal with those people not to advice them. do u think that they listened to wut u wrote or u r showing that u r a good philosipher ? I agree with u in wut u said but hey who cares, do u think that this will do the job. let me answer this for u, Totally nope. sadly they r sick persons they cannot really control them selves from looking on a woman or trying to PM some of them to get a date. and wut clothes and fashion were u talking about. is that fair that someone walk naked in street and hey guys no one look at me i'm free to do wut i want, fine and they r free too to do wut they want. if a woman don't want someone to look at her buddy would u plz tell me why she is showing it. that makes non-sense to me. wake up buddy u r in qatar not in europe or the U.S. and if u r really hot blooded and don't wanna some buggers to look at ur wife then cover her.

Don't ask for success while u didn't study

Don't ask for wealth while sitting at home

Don't ask people to get blind while ur woman is naked

Man for any action there is always a reaction. for things to happen u should do other things.

Men sadly here in qatar is looking after not only a girl with boobs, nope they will look after a dog if it's a female.

u cannot turn the whole world to be a right thing just in day and night. actually u cannot change the world at all. so i advice u to deal with it. u cannot live as a rabbit in this world any more or u will be hunted and eaten..

Sorry if i offended any one in my post but i was just trying to show u another point of view that people think it's right .. although i don't think it's right at all. but when u wanna deal with ur enemy think with his mind not urs.

___________________________________________________

God Damn people, they destroyed the beauty of life

Just for grins, if the guy gives you his e-mail address, try to continuously log into his e-mail account (obviously you won’t have his password but) after a few attempts his account will be temporarily locked which means he won’t have access to his own account either.

It takes about 1 minute and his account will be locked for several hours.

Or you can always use his e-mail address and solicit it for junk mail, spam etc so his account gets flooded.

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You can find me on facebook. Amar Chaudhary, location, Qatar.

"I’d say in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real actual work." - Peter, Office Space

Cause I don't want to yell and then end up making things worse, especially if I'm out by myself.

hehehe your not the first one to giggle and laugh on me!! My wife was giggling every time i receive a message or a call!!! This made me angrier at the guy lol!! Thank God he stopped.

Live to Ride,and Ride to Live.

i guess it get it a lot cos im walking the streets with the dogs! its madness!

well said oryx about the " minger " bit - hee hee - except im not ginger im prematurely grey from living out here!! lol!!

Yeah corny i have shouted at them- the one whos hat i slapped off his head nearly cried. They tend to start more and more when you shout but then if you walk toward them getting really angry they leg it like crazy! we had a huge fight in HSBC once over this madness! its not right and i guess all we can do is show them its not right!

[img_assist|nid=13270|title=Love Life|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=113]

love life!

sounds familiar. Guess that Apple posted the exact message here too. How are you doing this morning? Hope that you are doing fine.

Well, .. I don't know really what to say 'Charmed', it should be happening with you most of the time and it should be really getting on your nerves to open a thread for it here. Some people think that they were born with the right to do whatever they want to and believes in that. Some people does not know what does it mean to walk in the streets, stare at women, open their mouths and run after them .. they find it normal and cool. Some of them think that being 'Anonymous' on the forums or the websites would give them the freedom to try their luck and see from which women would they get respond.

Well, first of all you should change your believes, your concept about freedom. You don't have the right to tease people in the name of your mistaken freedom. You don't have the right to stare at women for any reason, stop telling me about she is not wearing anything, or she was staring too. I'm not asking you to close your eyes while walking, but you are doing the same thing with women who got nothing wrong with what they are wearing. It is your fault so stop talking about the fashion issues, let her wear whatever she wants .. none of your business.

Second, stop thinking that you are so charming and that the women would like you only for being that. It works only in 'James Bond' movies and honestly .. I don't like the guy for this reason. Most of these women are married and if you can't see her husband beside her then it is your problem, if you think that seeing her alone means that you got your chance then you are wrong too.

Third, there are a lot of ways to come close to a woman, running after women is not an option of course. If you will run after her, she will run away of course you idiot. I'm not prompting here for anything or asking you to try your luck finding different ways to get women, but it is not a game here. You should be having a good reason to know that girl or be her friend.

Fourth, hiding behind a nick name on the forums won't solve the problems also, it will create more trouble because you don't know what response would you be getting. Some people will take it seriously and go the police stations, some will post your messages here and give other people the chance to know who you really are. Some will let you here and experience something that you never seen before or let you hear something that you don't really need to hear.

So Charmed, .. I'm really so sorry to hear that again from you. Hopefully you would be able to get rid of these people. I've been reading your posts here and you were always having these issues with these kind of people. What can I say, flies are always targeting the sweets [just kidding here :)]

Finally,

Your freedom ends where the other people boundaries of freedom starts.

Best Regards

Its Manchester Vernacular it means dead ugly like - highly pejorative and usually sexist... so i must use it more.

ginger minger - unattractive female red head

it is minging - disgusting food

that is minging - horrible dress

where did you hear that word?

It amazes me how average girls become beauty queens over here lol. I mean u get so stared at u, u start wondering am I that pretty or what's the deal. But then u realize that these men will stare at anything with breasts. Been there done that got the t-shirt. I tend to ignore the stares, but maybe I should start doing something about it, has anyone yelled at men before for doing that? what was their reaction?

??????????

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

( poor you boris that did make me giggle!) but why should we have to put up with it? i dont think we should! ( i went to Egypt and didnt get hassled out there strange huh!)

I mean im certianly no model actually " im a minger not a model!" so i just dont get it- why do they do it!!

And i dont care there excuses for doing it! i mean come on heaps of us have been single for long periods of time and we didnt go about staring like letches!!

I just think we need to come up with the best way to make them stop!!! it makes my skin crawl!!!!! grrrr i think i need to train my dogs to " sic balls " - Xena can you help!

[img_assist|nid=13270|title=Love Life|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=113]

love life!

yep Darude, speak of the devil and u'll HER knocking at ur door...mwahahaha!

Yes I am the alien from the far away planet who's going to turn this planet into a huge parking lot (with the help of Joe ofcourse!)

I am really sorry for you women getting harassed that way, but you’re not alone! I advertised something for sale couple of months back and 2 days later i received an SMS followed by a phone call at 11:30 pm telling me " if you are lonely and bored give me a call i am a cool male 24"

i answered the phone call and my first question was "where did u get my number?" off course the answer was Qatar Living. I tried calmly to explain to the stupid guy that I am a male and I posted something to sell and its not "a men to men Flirting Hotline" he was like no “i want friendship”, I got furious and shouted at him asking him did I post a freaking friendship forum topic? NOOOOOO i wanted to sell something!!!!!!!And ++++++ its 11:30 PM!!

And to tell you guys it didn’t finish there he kept on ringing and sending messages for couple of days and i kept on ignoring him until he gave up and stopped!!!

I delete those junkmails to help save the space of QL Server, its not a lot but I think it would help the practical consumption of the Memories of QL Server.

Thanks Qatari for the space you allowed for the PM!

Cheers,

I didn't mean to steal your Thunder, I just borrowed it!

Name the Devil and the Devil is here LOL

corny u can read the post i just posted above urs :D

Goodmorning Doc. wazzup doc.

ok ok i know the sun is up and so r u now.

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

said I'm always right, thought I was wrong once but I wasn't. I won't however sit and stay, roll over and beg...nope...not THAT good of a girl! But, I CAN shake hands!

Bonjour Mes Amis!

How are u all doing?

As for that vishnal guy, I got a PM from him too...and here I thought I was his only true love, but he's been PMing other girls too! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :-( hehe

I agree with number 2 as well, but 1 for the above stated reasons.

hey who told u i am an alien no i am not its cornillian the alien. :|

yea atittude works fine with me :)

so you male new members can PM me freely any time i got a a perfect nerve for you guys to reply u back with a nasty manner. :)

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

now thats like a good girl at last u did agree with the lines LOL

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

I'm gonna go drop a line in the water....

Ohh fiddledeedee.....

I dont bother to reply to guys with ATTITUDE..especialy aliens..lol

Just after reading my comments..this new guy added me now..excuse me please read my comment above...

I dont know you! you know who you are.. I dont add strangers.. SORRY

7aram 3alek matshawehsh soret masr aktar ma heya metnaila beneela .. '7aleek ma7dar '7er ya abo el shabab ..

___________________________________________________

God Damn people, they destroyed the beauty of life

i voted for number 2 too. I did received some genuine PM from ppl on this forum. Mainly just asking for some assistance helping 'the wife' settle down in Qatar. And they are not on my contact lists too.

I like the truth's suggestion number 2 about earning PM functionality. However I disagree with 1 as I sometimes contact people not on my buddy list.

Dont rush lady calm down i have to think and go through some philosophy books and web hackers and some dating sites and and and let me think wait.till then u fish ok for lunch :)

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

thats why i never got a reply from u damn should have simply replied u are ignored :D

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

and its ok to disagree with me..just know I'm always right! lol

well i agree with truth code 321 one mission accomplished

but man take it easy if i never know any one on a forum how am i going to ask for a serious kinda help rather then make it a laughin stock for some on main forum.

but scarlett i dont agree with you too. still thinkin why. wait let me think then i will send you a PM ok :D LOL

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

real men dont send PM.. they start a new topic and ask for ladies out.

[img_assist|nid=17893|title=http://braveatheart.blogspot.com/

|desc=|link=url,http://braveatheart.blogspot.com/|align=left|width=180|height=135]

I do get some friendship request in PM's. I just ignore them. Or I humbly reply that I dont add people to my list unless I know them through the forum. They are civilized enough to understand that...lol

I guess there is also an option to close your PM's. If they are sending something nasty..ok its fine to complain. otherwise just ignore them.

you live in Qatar and complain from flirting...I wonder what would have you done if you live in Egypt.....you will get there all types of harrsement imaginable on and offline :)))))

part about having to have someone on your buddy list in order to PM someone. I had to PM someone the first day I was on to ask a question that I didn't want to put out on public display. That person was kind enough to help me out and there was no fighting going on because of it being out in the open forum. She had no idea who I was or if I was legit but was kind enough to answer me and give me the information I was requesting. So..that's kind of a catch 22 issue.

Just Ignore them.

you are a piece of prime rib on a platter, Tango. But you are right..its the NO's that are creating a lot of the problem. Its like anything else, if you can't get it, then you want it even more.

Qatari asked me to check with some friends and acquaintances last week on the security implications of trolls and such like. Unfortunatly due to Qtel's dynamic networking there is no way of permanently blocking an IP as it would revolve round to one of the regulars being blocked for a day or two.

With regard to the PM's (my lord truth gets round to the point), certain rules and regulations should be set up.

1. PM's should be set up so that the only way you can send one to someone is if they are on your buddy list

2. PM functionality should only be awarded after say 50 or 100 points have been earned on the site itself, this way we will get to know the persons personality before hand.

This would stop all the annoying PM's that women are getting and also means that you have the option not to accept someone as a buddy so no annoying PM's.

Qatari your opinion please!

[img_assist|nid=13254|title=Spinning|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=139|height=180]

We came we saw we were Qatarized

I agree with u in the dating website but the prob. is it's not legal.

Can u imagine that Q-Tel Blocked Tagged.and it's not a dating website, they blocked HI5 too.

Can u imagine wut they r doing to the people here especially the men. no wife, no g.f to live with no dating websites no friendship either websites and a long list of NO NO No.

wut do u think they r going to do? just work, eat and sleep. the Man is a human being not a Robot.

I know that u have the rights in every word u said but at least accept their excuses. if they r buggering u just try to ignore them if they didn't find a way with u they will just leave.

___________________________________________________

God Damn people, they destroyed the beauty of life

Charmed just a thought, don't scream, but if you "Jumped up and down and screeched like a mad women" wouldn't they just stare at you more??? just curious....ha ha.....but I do agree, some men do give all of us a bad name (or is it a lot of men!!!).but I guess ignoring them can work sometimes.....mind you sometimes.....caio.

pass the entire waitstaff on the way there. You'd think their heads were on swivels...needless to say..had to do the same to return to the table. I just ended up laughing and saying hi to them and they all blushed and turned their heads away.

but i do Pm alot female member and yea guys too :D only one sick head complained about it rest are fine with it hmm wondering why so :)

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

Yeah, if not all this kind of creeps, this country would be so much nicer and easier to live in.

Why is it so that a lady cannot even go to nearby grocery store without every man on the street staring at her, not to mention passing cars.

The other day I was visiting my friends and then had to wait for a taxi... imagine that one man turned around 5 times asking me to get in a car with him!

Really guys, get a grip!

If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.

I am so disappointed!!! but I have to agree with you Charmed...nuff is nuff....I did have a laugh with the blow up doll comment, though...Not many of us walk around with our mouths in that shape...least I HOPE we don't! lol

I sincerely hope i dont have the misfortune to cross you path.. Lest you say 'charmed' to meet you as a scream...

lol.

Fight, girl. You people deserve to fight back.

From: vishalbangalore

To: novita77

Subject: Just to say hai

Date: Fri, 22/06/2007 - 1:27pm

Hi,

Nice to see ur profile. Impressed me a lot. I could see a wonderful friend in u.

Care to see a reply,

vishal

[email protected]

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Some ppl just so thick skin !

Some of the female members were saying a couple of days ago he PMed them too.

The guy really is thorough!