Is it disrespectful?

Nomerci, you need to admit it - while reading your comments I can also feel the fire from here, see? My monitor is melting by now!

That's not disrespect!you are just a stranger because of what you wear..

It's kind of funny though, how some people use the word asian as if arabs and indians are not asian...

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction !!!

How about this

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/1407934

Speed..no answer again...like in the other thread? Well, well....quelle surprise ;)

Ah well, I guess people only cry foul if they are affected themselves...otherwise it is perfectly fine to exclude those bachelors.

And you know what, you have to wake up a lot earlier to twist words in my mouth...

Karma, karma my friend is catching up fast........

You have to know that by now :)

Speed, oh not, not at all.

See, what I asked is this : How can those that cry "inhuman" about Family day in Qatar be happily attending this bazaar ?

Because........your turn Speed.

Speed the question asked by nomerci there was something else. I don't think we ever got a reply to that, neither in that thread nor here.

@ cryspy LOL!...true as that may be,it doesn't make it right does it?...& i have you down for someone who can tell the difference...fair enough?...

the question you asked here: http://www.qatarliving.com/node/1350555

You answersed yourself :-) Thank you.

Well I think thta guys were staring and trying to figure out where did this lady come from (imagine them thinking in their accent) and why don't I get to go out with more girls like her... When your Qatari Friend entered, they where thinking like, I wanna stay in this country and don't want my butt whipped.. hee hee :).. Simple thing is just to ignore them, they will have no balls (soccer, baseball...)to come and do anything about it.

gadarene

i learned generalization on QL

nomerci,neither is mine! but the same can't be said for a LOT of people!...@ the end of the day,life is what we make of it so you have a valid point there...

@ cryspy,I would REALLY appreciate if you would rephrase your "most of the Asians especially Indians..." comment to "most of the Asians especially Indians... HERE IN QATAR",because your statement as it stands is misleading in that it makes a generalization of ALL Indians & Pakistanis & that is not true...I canniot speak for Pakistan as i don't know about the place but perhaps you should visit India & see for yourself before making such uninformed generalizations based on your opinion of Indian shopkeepers here MOST of whom are from ONE state in India & MOST of those from a PARTICULAR PART of that state,surely you are aware of the sheer size of India?...so in light of that fact,it's a bit of a generalization to put it mildly...

gardarene, no, I don't find life particularly complicated...but maybe that's just me...;)

Yes, it is disrespectful, and most of the asians, particularly from subcontinent, majority of them Indians, and second Pakistani's do that.

@ no merci,i like to "keep it simple" which is probably why i felt that way...sometimes the most simply put version makes the most sense...life is complicated enough don't you think?!...

....in South America too!

I went to Argentina and the men were telling the women GRAPHICALLY what they wanted to do to them.

But also....I spoke to a girl there who said that if she went somewhere that guys didn't talk dirty on the street, she would feel unattractive!

Thought that was an interesting addition that you just reminded me of.

Accidental bumping....it's like they are children, still exploring their feelings and getting kicks out of brushing past a girls arm :-s

I am an Indian but I am ashamed to state that women being stared at, touched or even having lewd remarks passed at them is commonplace. Very often the police are the ones doing it too, believe it or not. I feel safer here in Qatar, for though men stare, at least I do not have my bottom pinched, i do not have to walk with my arms crossed over my chest nor do i have to be watchful as to who is coming towards me and will accidentally 'bump' into me.

it's a sad fact of life in many Asian countries, men are creeps and women suffer. Irrespective of what one wears, women are stared at, groped and commented upon.

gardarene, do you really think so?

After all that has been said on this thread , I find that post a bit...simplistic.

@ ramil26,well put mate...

what to do yanni? ignore it and continue your life.

i remember a post about a lost mobile phone and then found because she's white,

i do not like these staring at all, specially at middle aged women/mother (hot asian women are a sight to behold though.

Yes, they are ignorant, and uneducated and without class.why the heck stoop way down by reacting this way if we are the matured, educated people that we claim to be, why not control the way we react to these people.

Matured and educated people understand these unfortunate people earning QR. 700. to literally survive everyday.

I know a "white, beautiful,young lady" who had the same issue, she instead talked with them and treated them as you would normally do to "people". now, she doesnt just get discounts, but brothers and fathers who treats her with utmost respect and guard her as well.

nxt time we'll hear people rant that we asians are eating in the same place they do, or walk at the same road they take.

Newsflash !!! we breath the same air.

whew, had a nice time reading. you are all racists..... !!!

@ s_isale,you have your opinion & i have mine...common sense would dictate that in a place with so much fewer women in public,the ones that are will get stared at,it's very simple,like i said,it's not rocket science...

Bombay(or Mumbai to be politically correct) is very much "Asia" wouldn't you agree?...let the OP try walking on the streets in large parts of the city & see if she gets stared at or has rude comments passed or whatever,more importantly,let her go there & see how young Indian women are in public,they DON'T wear loose fitting clothes or anything of the sort to prevent getting letched at simply because people in that city are always on the move busy with their own thing,there's no time to stop & stare & comment on women,going home on holiday from here,i experience a bit of culture shock seeing the way women dress there but no one there really bothers...so "people from Asia" is a bit too much of a generalization,it's a HUGE continent,you ought to be a bit more specific...

@ Oryx,you seem to be trying very hard to twist around what i'm saying,unsuccessfully i might add!...i am NOT "writing off" this behaviour to the gender ratio,i said it CONTRIBUTES LARGELY to it,bit of a difference there wouldn't you think?...

I'm also not "chastising" anyone for not ignoring nor implying they should be "tacitly complicit",if screaming,glaring & abusing every shopkeeper that stares is what works for the OP(& you),please by all means,go ahead,NOWHERE have i said or implied choosing that option is not on...

It is indeed both upsetting & socially unacceptable,all i'm doing is giving a reason to the OP as to why it happens so much more here(in this part of the world) than elsewhere,that is may i add,in no way justifying the behaviour at all,it is WRONG,plain & simple,please quit trying to twist around what i'm saying to prove your point,that's a very immature way to conduct a debate...

yeah im married,but you know the girls didnt?

skewered gender ratio reasoning is not at all correct. People from all countries do it. Here since the people from Asia are more you feel that they do it more.

Thats all.

Nothing to do with less women, women covered up etc...

lousy thread from an icky person and for the CRYING matron, nobody would care, but next time better choose a better SCRIPT.

I've passed copies of this hard talk to all the shopkeepers, and they promised me, that from today onward they will never ever do it again.

Driver, cleaners, tea boys, and street walker/mall walkers will be informed later on.

PS: xxxpat, U just proved one of my friend wrong, yesterday he was cursing me, on fuwairit beach that i'm staring at girls, and he was not believing on me that, i do it only for a glance

Thank U ;)

Learn to stare to a woman without being disrespectful.

menfolk of Asian nationalities flock and work...like Nepalese, Sri Langkan, Bangladeshi, Indians, Filipinos, Pakistanis, etc.

These menfolks are either storehelpers, storekeepers, delivery guys, private car drivers and others.

THERE you go...I'm a RACIST...and I'm Asian :)

Seriously though, when I do some shopping in that area,I'm on a BIOTCH MODE coz most often than not, I get stared at and get rude comments remarks "from my kabayans"...(surprise...surprise).

I go back to them and cuss them back...and what they usually say to me? "Oppps, sorry...we thought you're not Filipina...OR...Ay,Ma'am ___ it's you...we didn't recognized you.(WTH!!) And they apologize and walk away with their tail between their legs.

IMO...STARING AT WOMAN is RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL...It makes one wonder if their "mothers" ever told them that or they simply forgot their manners.

Signing off for now...otherwise I turn into a pumpkin :)

A mix of education, upbringing and class has an impact on how men treat women.

Lol..

Snessy actually I have been offered "sex" if I can call it that twice by guys in Qatar and they were not from the hand holding countries either :P

Gender ratio maybe whatever it is but staring at a woman with a man and a child in tow is just wrong... Unless you have never seen a woman in your entire life, you should not be staring at a woman who is with a child and a man.. Being shopkeepers in a souq, I expect them to have seen a few women in their time. That's breaking the unwritten protocol :P

Social Class and upbringing are two different issues.

If you meant upbringing then I agree and that transcends class.

'a society with more freedoms, more opportunities to release frustrations' then following that logic the worst place should be somewhere like Mozambique one of the ten poorest countries on earth. And it isn't like that.

Or Afghanistan or Somalia - and they aren't either.

Oryx, I am not saying that everyone from a particular class is indecent. I think it has a lot to do with upbringing, how these men see their women being treated at home and around them. Do they see women being treated with respect or do they see them being treated like a piece of meat to be stared at?

WK...I've noticed how much attention you attract when I walk down the street with you!

Your argument about 'the bigger picture' is incorrect.

I do not think it is ok to write it off to gender ratios and then chastise anyone for not ignoring and thus implying they should be tacitly complicit.

Its upsetting and Non-Merci can state that.

Its socially unacceptable, as is spitting and more should be done to get the message over.

I do hope when you are with your wife that sometimes (impossible all the time) but just from time to little time you glare back or say something.

Boys need lady escort more in Qatar as without them they may get shoved out of some souks.

XX if I knew the solution, I would not be using my "switch off/ignore" mode? I don't know....maybe modify the skewered ratio, a society with more freedoms, more opportunities to release frustrations.

whyte...are those the ones that usually hold hands? In a "friendly" way only, of course!

ok gardarene, no problem.:)

I can sympathise mate ;)

I have to say in my experience (maybe yours is different) that class is not a factor.

Actually some of the humblest people are the kindest.

no merci,i too don't believe that these incidents have ONLY to do with Qatar's immigration policies & skewered gender "ration"(LOL i dare say! *wink*!) but it contributes LARGELY to it...

They stop staring as soon as a Qatari man appeared on the scene out of fear,i didn't think that part needed any explanation...to them,ANY local is someone to fear,someone who can have them thrown in jail or thrown out of the country even, so staring @ you(or any woman) is not worth giving up their livelihood for now is it?...

You're upset @ these guys & that seems to be clouding your judgment to the extent that you think i'm in any way justifying or supporting their actions but the truth is the exact opposite,you see i'm not Qatari(& i don't wear a thobe either) so the more brazen ones continue staring @ my wife even when i'm with her,we,more so she,have learned to just shut them out completely & get on with what we're doing...

It's not that our opinions don't coincide,i'm just choosing to look @ the bigger picture which is my right,just as choosing not to is yours,so let's agree to disagree on this one eh?...over & out...

Ice maide, and FYI, i would say exactly the same thing if these men were from Europe, England, America what ever,heck, i would even go further, I would point out their exact nationality. Which is something that can't be done, apparently, with other nationalities.

I know that, for example, a lot of Germans go to Thailand to buy girls. I find that disgusting and nasty. And have no problem pointing that out.

But then again..I am a racist...although a diplomatic one..lol;)

There are some shopkeepers who stare at men too :(

Even if they are with a woman :(

and how women are treated by men here. So what can be done to educate those men that their behaviour is unacceptable. Usually we say education starts at home, but apparently not in this case. Any ideas?

Thankyou XX, I think you now understand what I am getting at....uneducated, uncultured men of a certain class with no sense of decency will stare. It's not restricted to any nationality.

Unfortunately, here that particular class of men are more from the subcontinent.

gardarene,I think what edifis said, although crude, is somewhat true. Those people have a certain idea about women being out by themselves and of course, Western women...and therefore they behave as they do.

And the Locals know that...and hence react to it.

'men that are not used to seeing women let alone used to being intimate with them,will stare when they see women'

Its just NOT my experience at all ....never been so badly stared at in such an intimidating way as here. I am not talking logic I am just stating what I have encountered. And I have been to some rather unusual places.

Ice maiden, there are infact waiters from Europe here. I have just recently seen some. And no, they did not stare.

I think what edifis said, although crude, is somewhat true. Those people have a certain idea about women being out by themselves and of course, Western women...and therefore they behave as they do.

Oryx, I don't find it acceptable either. You can say something back to a person who has some "sense". But to one who has none, what do you say that he will understand. Like the saying goes...No point wrestling with a pig. It loves getting dirty.

from the West come here to work for 700 riyal per month? I think you know the answer to your own question. As I stated it is a certain class of people and that class of brits rarely come here. They are too busy waiting on their government checks in their council houses back home. And some of them very well might behave in the same manner as Asian men if they were here.

And since I have never seen a thread about how Western men stare at the women here in Qatar, what am I left to think?

Well I don't find it acceptable.

I do try to ignore but sometimes i say something back....because by always remaining silent then I am saying its acceptable

You can't say that they are 'unfamiliar'...they see different nationalities all the time. Unlike some places i have been to. - where seriously they don't get hardly any white people or females alone

@ Oryx,men that are not used to seeing women let alone used to being intimate with them,will stare when they see women,that's not rocket science,it's just plain logic,with all due respect to your 92 countries experience...is it right? absolutely not...am i justifying their actions? absolutely not...does it bother me that the guilty are (mostly) my fellow Indian brothers? extremely so...i hope i've clarified my stand on this...i fully agree with the OP that it is disrespectful,i was merely pointing out that there is more to it than meets the eye & "family days" @ malls are as shortsighted a solution as is possible...

gardarene, I would appreciate it if you regulate your tone towards me somewhat. We are having a discussion here, all this has nothing to do with what I "would like " to believe or how brave I am.

I have an opinion which apparently does not quite coincide with yours, so instead of throwing those terms at me, why don't we discuss it properly?

I, as some other people here, do not believe these incidents have only to do with Qatari immigration policies and skewered gender ration.

Also, tell me this...why did they stop staring as soon as a Qatari man appeared on the scene? All of a sudden they CAN help themselves and remember manners? How come?

Yes, you've been raised and educated to think staring is rude. Not all men learn that lesson well.

What is the ratio of these "certain types USUALLY from Central Asia and the subcontinent and of certain social/economic/educational/class background" to the other nationalities?

Do you have Western nationalities working as shopkeepers or waiters or drivers here? Will they behave in the same way as the ones from the subcontinent?

Rishimba, ok, yes, I can accept that. But to take your reasoning further, why, IF those people know that what they are doing is wrong, as they by now should, do to restrictions put on to them etc, do they not stop? Because that is really all it takes to make it a little easier for them,IMHO. And when I say a little easier, I mean that maybe some restrictions would not be so harshly enforced.

I think I have been to 92 countries but I have lost count.

That is fair experience to make a qualified judgement that is not because of skewered gender ratios...

I see lots of things here that I am unfamiliar with and yet I do not stare because I was raised and educated to think staring is rude.

Try another excuse, because you're still falling short madame.

People stare at what they are not familiar with....

nomerci, two wrongs do not make a right. however, here we are not talking about what they should or what is right or wrong.

men do stare at women, the world over...more so when men see more female skin than what they are used to seeing in other women.

its probably the sophistication and the sense of shame which is lacking in the shopkeepers ..reason they can't keep their glances subtle.

nomerci a racist and said that anyone pointing out what certain nationalities do/are is racist. See, that is my problem with what you wrote. I couldn't care less that someone criticises my nationality or culture by stating the truth. Yes, many of us can't handle our drink and we have bad teeth. Does it make me racist to state the truth?

And I know that everywhere you go you might run the risk of a man staring disrespectfully. But in Qatar it is certain types that do this and yes, they are USUALLY from Central Asia and the subcontinent and certain social/economic/educational/class background. That by no means is to say that ALL men from the subcontinent are like that. I rather doubt you would ever catch Whyteknight, garderene, khattak or even Cryspy behaving in this manner. But yes, there is a certain type that are the worst offenders and I refuse to tiptoe around it because you are going to label me a racist.

@ no merci,your thinking that i'm wrong doesn't make it wrong,as much as you would like to believe it...the wives,sisters & mothers of the shopkeepers that stare are back home in South Asia because Qatar immigration won't allow them family visas to bring them here,so as a result they get to see their wives once in two years,that might have something to do with the staring,but hey what do i know?...you still refuse to address or accept the bigger picture & that is the skewered gender ratio as a result of the immigration policies in this country...or are you just not brave enough to admit to that fact here?...i state again,I AM NOT justifying their actions at all,i'm just giving you a reason as to why it's more prevalant here, so continuing to debate this without taking that fact into consideration just appears foolish,to say the least...

Yes Western men do look but they do not stare. Also, they will not hit on a woman whilst she is with a man unlike the men here. Like I've said before a casual glance is acceptable but blatant staring and crude comments is not.

"cultural" traits...XX...Back home men don't stare so much as they stare here. Here, SOME men, irrespective of nationality stare.

edifis, yes, you are right...I try not to think about that, as if one of those brainless creeps stares at me with those thoughts, I would like to cut of his shrivelled balls and push them down his throat...(I just assume they are shrivelled, have never sen them and will do my utmost to never have to)

A Racist cult is a good idea! I will join.

But it should be non violent!

nomerci when you go out with your husband they think he is your escort for the day. That is how they percieve western folks! Don't you know.. western women (non-abaya clad) are the main cause of earthquakes!

caution: That's not my opinion.

But a Qatari and sin don't mix together!

I know that some Western men are hot for Asian women and think you are all subservient and sex-toys. What I am referring to is you calling nomerci a racist and saying that when anyone refers to cultural traits it is racist. That is what I meant by you playing the victim.

You stated:

"Discussing what happened to you is not racist, but pointing out the fact that only certain nationalities do it is."

And that is what I said is bollox.

Just because I said as an Indian/Asian I've been hit on by Western men, I am playing the victim. I've never considered myself a victim nor am I overtly sensitive. I just take it in my stride. Sheesh...

Why XX, does it irritate you when I said Western men stare too? That they pass comments? Why can't you accept the fact that some men in general behave "strangely", especially in a place like here, where the ratio is so skewered?

Gardarene, I think you are wrong on quite a few levels...excuse my "spiel", lol

I talked to some people, and here is what I got. Yes, most women are not happy with the shopkeepers here...but , for many it is not a problem as they do not regard them as "men".And also as mentioned before, they are not happy, they do something about it...hence "family fridays".

And saying that most women here are kept in the house, out of sight...well, then I want to ask you who are all those women clad in elegant abayas, with high heels and make up in the shopping malls etc?

I think the wives, sisters, mothers etc. of the men we see staring and behaving inappropriately are the ones who are hidden away...

I am also not "zeroing" in on one souk, these things happen everywhere in Qatar...I just mentioned where it happened to me at this one time. I thought that was clear though...

dp

Please watch your language ex.ex.expat

Stating that many brits drink like fish is not racist. It is simply the truth. Same when it comes to other cultures that have specific traits that occur frequently.

I didn't know you were Asian until you just posted it, but my guess is you are playing the victim and being overly sensitive. If you are such a delicate flower who sees racism everywhere I suggest you give certain topics a pass.

@ nomerci,if you have chosen to read & interpret my post the way you have,i can't help it...NEVER ONCE did i justify the leching or say "that two wrongs make a right." so i don't know what you're on about...my wife experiences the same thing every time she goes out as does almost every expat woman that doesn't step out of the house with a black tent draped over themselves as ex.expat correctly put...it is the culture of this place to keep their women covered,out of sight & in general one step behind the men,the lecherous shopkeepers are but an extension of that culture so please save me your spiel...EVERY OTHER expat(& i daresay local) woman experiences this same issue in this backward town & culture,zeroing in on one bunch of shopkeepers in one souq serves no purpose @ all...& may i point out, it's not "all that may be true",all that IS true & ALL THAT contributes to a LARGE EXTENT,to THIS,that which you're experiencing,look @ the bigger picture,there is more to this world than just you...

@ oryx,don't know what parts of the "earth surface" you're referring to so if you would be so kind as to point out these "plenty of places" you mentioned,i'm very curious,because what i said is plain logic not rocket science...subdue something & it will surface even more strongly,that is human nature,it's as simple as that...Johnny Walker claim that their highest sales of Black Label whiskey in the mideast is in SAUDI ARABIA...i rest my case...of course,if your post is purely in support of the OP with no real thought put into it,that's a different issue right?! *wink*!...

Edifis, did thy not know that I was taken when I went out with my husband? Or is it that they are scared of repercussions once they see a Qatari?

And maybe, just maybe Edifis, we should have we should start a R?C...racist cult.....may b very successful! ;)

Ice, it IS a certain people who do this thing, as to my and others people's experience. Is it racist to say what one has experienced?

I am NOT saying that all men of those nationalities do this.

If you have experienced something different, fine, I do not doubt what you are saying. But why do you have a problem if I tell of my experiences?

nomerci, it's good to be racist! I am a racist too.

And you must be an exceptionally beautiful middle aged lady to make people turn their necks.

You know middle aged men often find very young girls "not so attractive"

So they stare at middle aged woman more than they stare at 'hot young chicks"

But when they saw the Qatari they understood that you are not single and already taken ....so they dare not stare at a Qatari house wife.

Discussing what happened to you is not racist, but pointing out the fact that only certain nationalities do it is. And nobody is throwing a wet blanket on discussions. Discuss it by all means, but take into account all facts.

For one, you have to realise certain nationalities are more in number than others.

I've travelled to Europe, the Americas, the far East and I have been "stared" at more in the Western hemisphere than in the East. Maybe because I look different. I've been hit on by the Western men and Arabs. Maybe they think that because I am Asian, I am desperate. But that does not make me come to the conclusion that all of them are like that.

Ex ex...and those are also the people who, when it comes to specific questions they may find uncomfortable, are asking threads to be closed, or avoid them, or find "excuses".Like when I asked why people accepted the "no bachelor" rule for the Pakistani bazaar very easily, but called "family only" fridays in malls inhuman.....I still did not get an answer from any of them ...after all this time...hmmmmm.....

Ya, and I am a racist...sure!;)

and I have never understood why some people rush in like a wet blanket to shut down discussions on subjects that have been discussed before. What is the harm in other people discussing the subject again if they want? Maybe they have something to say that hasn't been added before? I notice that is a habit among certain qlers and it always makes me wonder who appointed them the Topic Police ;)

nomad, no, not true. Been there done that...just like so may other women here. They still stare...at what ..well, that eludes me.

It is rude and disrespectful but hey your are in a place where sex-starved singles are in abundant. I guess if you wear a bukhra then no one will stare at you.

Ice, just because I have been here a few years and this has always been that way and it has been discussed before I am to keep quiet and "ignore" ?

Why? It is not I who is doing something wrong. Will posting about it change it? It may, it may not. QL is here to talk about things, and that is exactly what I am doing.

I am racist because I point out and talk about what is happening to me? Ah well , if that makes me a racist, so be it.

So simple, yet so complex

So weak, yet so powerful

So confusing, yet so desirable

So damning, yet so wonderful... .....WOMEN!

Staring is really rude, you'll just get aggravated if you look their way better look the other way and let them tire their eyes out.

Agree 100%. Its not about unfair generalizing but its true. Certain cultures, do this more than others, blatantly and shamelessly. Mind you a friend of mine from one such country told me that even if you wear niqaab their men assume you to be a "easy catch" and "up to no good hence the cover" Sickening but true..

dp

When I first came to this country it did bother me a lot...this "X-ray" technique they use on women....but now I give a d***. I too enjoy shopping for pleasure. I am very aware of what is happening around me, but I focus on what I have to do. I don't let "eejits" like you call them bother me. I am sure we all learn in time to "switch" on the "ignore" mode.

I assume you've been in Qatar long enough to realise the "situation"...so I am sure you will know how to go into "survival" mode.

Plus this "topic" has been discussed many times in QL...albeit different versions of it....and No Merci you have been on QL long enough to know exactly the "direction" this thread will take...bringing it up again the zillionth time knowing fully well that no one can offer a solution to the problem except to bash .... is I would say is being very"diplomatically racist".

predominately some cultures that stare more blatantly than others. Sure any man may stare, but some do it with a lot more finesse than other and don't make it so noticeable. To me the oddest part is that they continue even when I have confronted them while accompanying my wife. I have shouted, threatened and come close to blows and some don't even have the manners to feel ashamed and look away. Again, I chalk it up to cultural attitudes to women, low levels of education and social class, more than race.

Well Ice, good for you...I am lucky enough to shop for pleasure sometimes, and I prefer to enjoy that without eejits undressing me with their eyes. You don't see that happening to you...ah well, I do take in what's going on around me...maybe I should not....

And yes, as I said before other men look too...but not in this blatantly, unnerving and dogged way. A quick glance, what do I care...but that is, as I said before, not what I am talking about. Sheesh...

xxxpat

i think, we need not to worry more, as we know how quick the Qatari security departments are ;)

Really do only the Pakistanis, Indian and Asian men stare? I wonder what do the Arabs and Western men do when they see women? Lower their gaze to the floor, or take a U-turn when they see women approaching.

I get stared at where ever I go..by men of ALL nationalities...not just the ones "hinted" at by the OP.

But who has the time to look? Everyone is aware of the situation here, so I just do my errands, and then go home. Sheesh....

ice...so what shall we bash? Perverted men? ;)

aaah.....another thread ripe for bashing..

You never know what perversion lurks in the hearts of men... ;P

xxxpat

sometimes i feel left out, when i see saeedkan in generous mode towards ladies, i wish someday i could find his offer of biryani hutt ;)

I felt it fitting to warn the ladies ;)

Gunner, please Do enlighten me...what exactly is it that I intend? IYO (because I am 100% sure that you are totally off the mark...lol)

'skewered gender ratio'

plenty of places on this earth surface with this and racial ratio....and you don't encounter this 'unnerving staring'.

No I don't agree its not human nature...been to plenty of places where there are few or no people of my colour or gender...not encountered the problem.

gardarene, all that may be true. But as I asked rishimba, do 2 wrongs make a right? Do I, albeit dressing very conservatively,and behaving properly have to accept the behaviour of those men?

Am I to think "oh, they have not seen a woman in a while(although there are plenty in the souk, every day), so let them have a good look and and let them satisfy what ever needs to be satisfied?" No, I think not.

What they ar doing is wrong, on all levels.

And, as was said by an OP before, this is part of the reason why there are family days.

Only once would i like those who excuse this behaviour to walk in the shoes of a woman here in Qatar. And THEN we can talk....

no 1 replyng me ...:(

ROFL =)

QL Guide Line No. 6 :

Don't bring conflicts of previous threads to new one :P

on QL by offering "help" or inviting them to Biryani Hut. Beware ladies. Perverts abound.

women who dare to step out of their homes, or go out with less than a black tent thrown over their heads in some cultures. You have to consider the education and class of the people who are working in the souk.

@ Nomerci, i fully accept your narration of this incident,but i feel the need to point out a few things,

-The restrictions/family days doesn't change the fact that the shopkeepers are still the same lecherous guys so that doesn't make any sense at all.

That shopkeeper is staring because he's not used to seeing women in this country period,because the gender ratio is so skewered in this country,don't blame that on the shopkeeper...It was so difficult for me to get a visa for my cousin sister to come & visit a couple of years back & i did manage to get it thanks to an immigration officer i know & he told me straight off that young,single women are the MOST DIFFICULT category of people to get visas for,now why do you think that is no merci? It's because the local attitude is "female,single,she must be a w*&^" so one needs to look @ the larger picture to understand this phenomenon...

Please understand,i'm in NO WAY JUSTIFYING what transpired with you but there is more to it...

The long term solution is to correct the skewered gender ratio...when people get used to something/someone they will stop & stare less,that is essentially human nature,it doesn't matter what race or nationality one belongs to,that is secondary...

So restrictions in shopping malls isn't the solution,give those single workers some other avenue for entertainment after slogging in this inhumane climate all week & then see how many of them land up outside shopping malls on the weekend...i'm sorry if i sound like i don't empathize with your situation because i really do but it really gets me when people justify the discrimination policy practiced here when there is a REAL LONGTERM solution rather than the current shortsighted one in practice...

i am not sure which comment :)

However sometimes they don't want to understand because they do it themselves....and then they would have to admit they have been wrong.

Its a dreadful problem in some countries that leads many girls to commit suicide.

Me - I am from Manchester - so we just get gobby when someone disrespects us like that. But even so - i have gone home in tears or just really upset.

Your earler comment said it all..

Most times, it is difficult for men to understand or feel what women go through in this context.

I can barely understand what you write so maybe this is not the correct comment:

Flirting = consensual act - that is it takes 2

Harrasment = one person upsets another - repeatedly

They are two very different things....like consensual love making and masturbation...if you can grasp that.

saeedkan= thank you and appreciation

bro i also join wth you :D ..you are correct but the things in 100 people ....10 will alwyz be flirts ,.......lik n thz case .... !!:P

let me tell u ...sisy ...as that sis siad "the made rude comments too" .......yu knw 1 thng ...in gcc countries most peoples are afraid of women ...as women is having more power than men ...so the thng is.....!!!if any1 stare at yu ..or mak any cmmnts ...dnt b afraid sisy ...jst stare back ..if hez making bad comments ...jst ggo near 2 him n ask 2 giv his id ... :)@ that time he wil get afraid n he wil tel u sorry ..:) ...

last night also i experience the same thing with nomerci,im walking alone at villagio then all the girls stare at me,dont know what to do last night:(

A recent survey report said

"69% of Women/Girls like staring"

so in my opinion, the men in souq were admired with survey report ;)

gud nes wont stare at any 1...but the thng is .jealous personz may stare at girls who doesnt hav gfrnds ... !!! if he 2 have 1 gfrnd...it depends on his mind ..... !! as if most persons wrkng in gcc from other cuntries wont stare lik thz ..as the cntry seems strict .....

if you are going to post so prolifically please could read the posts a little more carefully?

Saeedkan...please re read the OP, nomerci has clearly stated "Not only did they stare continously, the made rude comments too", is this disrespectful? Damn right it is!

no that is a little discreet glance - while eating a pinkberry at landmark!

1. this happens A LOT (I have gone home and cried more than once)

2. Differentiate between a look/glance and a stare that doesn't stop as tinker said unnerving totally.

3. I don't care - this is Qatar - this is not Qatari culture and thus it is TOTALLY unacceptable

4. What you wear doesn't matter

5. Who you are with doesn't always matter

6. It doesn't matter how old you are

And those of you making crass tactless remarks...then shame on you

And it is partly why there are 'family only' days in the malls.

Then there is the other side, certain women who stare only at men wearing thobe and ghutra ;)

If staring is the only thing behind keeping bachelors away from Malls then those women should not be allowed too unless it is acceptable for women to do it ;)

saeedkan

will U tell us, wat do U do in Malls and Souqs?

Ok here's what I have learned..its that in some cultures staring is perfectly accepted. As much as it would freak someone out for some folks its as normal as taking a stroll.And again it may not have to do with culture some people are just overly curious and that leads them to stare at anyone and everyone. That said its the nature and manner in which the stares are. For example my husband gets stared at ALL the time by all the cultures cos he looks different from most people. Many times strangers,arabs and non arabs, will walk up to him and ask him where he's from but most folks,males and females, just stare at him like he's a well circus act..lol. For a person like him its now the norm and he's used to it...uh..kind of. But...now when I go out alone with my daughter or sister we have men, seemingly single, staring at us very inappropriately like undressing us with their eyes..and as you all know, I am a niqabi and so is my sis! So its not about what you wear its just that some men are simply frustrated and desperate! and that's just how it is..

saed lol

Saeed...Yes, after all he is a hetrosexual! But, there is a huge difference between staring and a cursory glance to appreciate a pretty woman. And yes, my hubby does appreciate looking at pretty women, but he wouldn't stare and rape her with his eyes.

WRONG!!! you can wear an abaya and negab and get stared at.....so don't blame us for wearing western dress....

what is thobe and gutra?

Its not 'eve teasing' it is Sexual Harrasment.... as long as a euphemism is used people will see it as acceptable.

IT IS NOT!!!!

And why should anyone think it is OK to do this if you are single.

Believe me this can happen when you are married.

being stared at is so annoying. just yesterday it happened to me.

i went to matar qadeem to buy some foods, since there was no parking available, i decided to just walk to the opposite side of the road. Some guys went out of a van parked beside the resto, these sick people were staring and making comments --i gave them a glare, unfortunately, it didnt faze them. they were so insulting, even my friend (lady) in the car yelled at them cuz even when my back was turned, going back to the car, they still continue doing that.

@ gunner - do you know the difference between staring as like, admiring someone (which actually, i also do to both men and women) and staring with malicious intent (i.e. undressing)? well, if you do, figure out yourself why we hate being stared at by some people.

LOL,Tru Honda, Asian women do get stared by other nationality men,...

But tell me, how does some passive staring hurt us when we are so busy with shopping and doing our own thing, who has the time to worry about how many eyes are following ,unless of course one is just "hanging "around the malls?Unless I am found in a difficult position with staring men in lifts or secluded alleys, I dont even see them!

Seriously, how can anyone think this is made up. I find men will stare whether you are alone, with hubby or with children. They don't care how old you are nor whether you are ugly. I have been on the receiving end numerous times and it can make me feel really uncomfortable. I can generally cope with men staring but it is infuriating when you are being followed around a mall or having men shout obscene words across at you.

Also, my mother was visiting from the UK a couple of months ago and she too was constantly being stared at. So age doesn't come into this at all.

I appreciate men like to admire a woman from afar, but once you catch their eye they should look away and not carry on staring. I have lost count of the number of times my hubby has lost his rag when we've been out.

cos Asian women looks hot... fit clothes, sleeveless, shorts etc... =P

lol honda maybe not, maybe yes. any problem?

honda86 seems genuine..

Look, It is like someone is trying to prove that she is very attractive. Staring at a woman is not a big issue around the world. Dont the westeners/arabs stare at asian women. They dont create an uproar like this. Am I right Saeed?

please forgive them for admiring you...

I guess there will be no problem if you make "staring" a one way street.

nomercy... I go with gunner... Dont think others are staring you because you are lady...

Gunner is a 'starer' who wants to defend his right to drool with one hand down his pants.

Staring is very common and it gets really awkward at times as people don't stop staring even when I am with a friend of mine unlike in your case where your friend was a Qatari. I never heard anyone making comments though.

Gunner, I have no desire at all to convince you. It's up to you to believe it or not, makes no difference to me. Just do not call me a liar.

And yes, ALL men stare at women. BUT, some do it in a tolerable way, others don't. I am speaking f those who don't.

What I said is what they did. and so fare they are the only ones who do it in a unacceptable way.

nom

i didn't do that

and i'll never ever do it.

for me, first glance is OK, but staring and following continuously is something disgusting.

They were staring even after your male friend arrived, albeit more guardedly.

lol nomerci cheer up, for them ur the goddest or only the lady in that place at that time...

CW2, say what?

Cryspy, I would say yes. As long as you do not undress her with your eyes and continuously stare.And even follow her around...

nomercy... Is it real wat u say?... even if u wear abaya and cover ur hair, people stare... then just check in the mirror ur hear may turned to opposite...

It's not fabricated. It happens to me all the time too. I start to understand family days in malls -when you are shopping alone it can be very unpleasant!

stanley, as I said, I am a middle aged wife and mother. Heck, maybe this is what those men like...what do I know....

nomercy

is it acceptable, if once i do it, i mean if i saw an attractive lady (doesn't matter, teen, younger or older), and just look at her, and then get buzzy with my own business?

all I can say is this, out of MY experience. Western men do not stare at me in the way those other people do.They also do not make comments like other people do. As simple as that.

maybe ur so blessed for being fasionist with a pretty face thats why they stare at u...

Gunner, no, not fabricated. This is exactly what happened on Thursday morning, 21st of October at around 9.45 am at souk Jabor.

I have no reason to fabricate anything. And I most certainly do not appreciate that you call me a liar.

gunner very true.. there isnt any special nationality who dont stare.. all r the same

I also wonder.. y do thy stare?? will thy get laser eyes automatically.. on staring...

Saeed, wrong again...even if and when I wear abaya and have my hair covered, the same happens.

Rishimba, so 2 wrongs make a right? It is justified?

People are not responsible for their own behaviour?

what i also find astounding is that when I go out with my husband, we are both Western, some men still stare at me...although my husband stares back at them and tells them to stop staring(in not so polite words, mind you)...and they still don't stop!

Now, if I were a young beautiful girl, I can somewhat understand being stared at...although it is still wrong.....

But I am a middle aged wife and mother....so not only is this very disrespectful, it is also a bit perverted IMHO.

saeed, thank you for your offer, but my husband would not appreciate it. My Qatari friend is a family friend, therefore it is acceptable for me to go outside with him.

I also do not like to make a spectacle out of myself by hitting those people or even giving them a reply.

niqobmom... Thats really funny... but why do u wear loose sleevless blouse and go to souk... It is common everyone will stare if a male did this..

i have experienced the same too....when they stare at me,i always ask them "do i owe you anything?" or "can i help u ?"...

when they answer "no",then i ask them "y do u keep staring at me?"

then they will know their mistake...

teach them a lesson

saeed, so lets say u are an "Indian Qatari" :-)

I'm sure... this thread will have more male Qlrs comment..

saeed, I am not sure of their nationality...all i know is they were neither Arab nor Filipino.

And "eve teasing" wtf??? THAT sure is VERY disrespectful indeed.

Qhris, are you wearing thobe and ghutra? I think that might make a difference....

My friend offered to accompany me on my shopping trips from now on....I might just take him up on that...it would make things a lot more pleasant.

"I am in permanent 'fighting' mode" ... that was lols :)

drmana, suppression leads to distortion..

Everytime I go outside with my girlfriend I am in permanent 'fighting' mode; and I am not a violent person either.

What I HATE is that in any normal country, if someone is staring and you catch them, they look away, out of shame.

These guys KEEP staring, even after you have given them a glare.

They have no manners.

Nomerci.....I have also found it doesn't matter what she wears, even in the most conservative (non abaya) outfit, they are still mentally undressing her.

You are 'lucky'; even when they see her with me, they STILL stare.

Idiots.

saeed, please read my initial post again, then you will see that your answer is completely wrong.

One question....Why do these men STARE at women only in GCC? Why don't they do the same elsewhere? I am sure there are plenty of these people everywhere. So Why?