How to Shower!

How to shower like a woman:  1-     Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.2-     Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.3-      Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note to do more sit ups/leg lifts. 4-     Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, loofah, wide loofah, and pumice tone.5-     Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6-     Wash your hair again to be sure it is clean, condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. 7-     Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8-     Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 9-     Rinse conditioner off hair. 10-  Shave armpits and legs. 11-  Turn off shower. 12-  Squeegee off all wet surfaces in the shower. 13-  Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14-  Get out of shower. 15-  Dry with towel the size of a small country. 16-  Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.17-  Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.   How to shower like a man:  1-      Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of bed and leave them in a pile. 2-      Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at Her while making the woo-woo sound. 3-      Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. 4-      Get in the shower. 5-      Wash your face.6-      Wash your armpits7-      Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off. 8-      Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 9-      Spend majority of time washing private parts and surrounding areas. 10-   Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 11-   Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 12-   Pee.13-   Rinse off and get out of the shower. 14-   Partially dry off.15-   Fail to notice the water on the floor because shower curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.16-   Admire wiener size again in the mirror.17-   Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on the floor, light and fan on.18-  Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull towel off, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 19-  Throw wet towel on her pillow