how?

Moonlight 2000, I just read your previous few posts. I now understand your situation. Your bf is most probably a decent guy and made a very difficult decision. You should trust that it is for the best because he must know you very well too and love you very much not to force you to do what you would not want to. Even if you think that you would do anything to stay together, it's an emotional decision and one he knows you will probably regret sometime in the future when your emotions are settled.

I suggest you pray and lean on God. He was where I found my strength and peace within. (Probably after you settle yourself and stop blaming God).

I'll say that my situation mentioned above was different - my ex was a real cad and a sorry excuse for a man. But the relationship was not torn apart by religion. This is also the reason why I avoid getting involved with muslim men, despite the fact that many are damn cute and almost everything that I look for. Ah well...

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

you are right!! Celine Dion's songs are uplifting.. thats an excellenet advice ;)

,

Emad =>

dear please a bottle of wine and warm bath with some candeles

Meant to post this the past few days but got caught up in work and forgot...

Anyway, I was going to suggest the song by Celine Dion together with Il Divo - "I believe in you". The music is uplifting and the lyrics too, esp the line "there's nothing you cannot do".

Take care!

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

People may say no one ever died of a broken heart, but when you're suffering from one, it sure doesn't feel that way--at least initially. These suggestions may help you navigate the painfully troubled waters of a relationship that has ended and help you heal a broken heart.

Days 1 and 2

Step1 Breathe. All you can do is survive this first and difficult day. Take one day at a time. Give yourself permission to mourn. Call in sick at work, sleep all day, eat too much ice cream, sob.

Step2 Congratulate yourself for being human: It is only when you open yourself to love that your heart can break. Develop and repeat a helpful mantra to get you through the initial shock and pain, such as "This too shall pass" or "I will survive."

Step3 Reach out to a close friend or family member. It helps to share your thoughts with others. Watch a movie to distract yourself. Choose a comedy that has cheered you up in the past. Or watch a movie that's guaranteed to make you sob--it may surprise you how good that feels.

Month 1

Step1 Week 1: Force yourself to go out even if you are feeling despondent. Take yourself out for a cup of coffee or go on a long walk. Express your emotions in a way that comes naturally. Write in a journal, paint, sculpt or play music. Do daily cardiovascular exercise--the endorphins will give your spirits an immediate lift. Resist the urge to call your ex. Instead, write a letter. Don't mail it. Go out of town for the weekend to distance yourself from the temptation to call your ex. Visit an old friend or go back home to your roots. A change of environment does wonders for the spirit. Put everything that reminds you of your ex in a box and seal it. Throw it away, donate it to charity or ask a friend to hold on to it indefinitely.

Step2 Week 2: Surround yourself with friends. This may mean reaching out to people you fell out of touch with during the relationship. Make lists to help you regain your confidence and identity: a list of your friends, of things you like, of what you want to accomplish in the next decade. Spoil yourself: Get a new hairstyle, have a spa day or go shopping. Resist the urge to call your ex.

Step3 Week 3: Assess the experience. Have you learned anything about yourself? Does the experience make you more empathetic to others who've suffered a hardship? Begin an activity that will fill your time, distract your mind and rebuild your confidence. Train for a marathon, take up yoga or learn a new language. Resist the urge to call your ex. Volunteer your time at a local homeless shelter, soup kitchen or tutoring center. It will take your mind off your own woes and keep your suffering in perspective.

Step4 Week 4: Continue regular socializing and exercising. While socializing, though, make sure you don't depend on alcohol or drugs to dull the pain. Call your ex if you feel it would be helpful. Resist if you merely want to say hurtful things. Consider dating other people, but be wary of rebound relationships. Understand that you will need to experience and process sadness, anger, guilt and fear to fully heal. Burying or ignoring these emotions will thwart the healing process. Write, cry, share the feelings with friends.

Months 3 to 6

Step1 Force yourself to go on dates. You'll be surprised to discover that your heart can still flutter over someone. It's part of the healing process.

Step2 Consult a psychiatrist if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, such as lack of appetite, insomnia or too much sleeping, low self-esteem, and an inability to concentrate or carry out routine tasks. Ask a friend or physician to recommend one who is experienced in treating depression.

Step3 Remember that healing is a process that takes time. Expect waves of sadness, anger, guilt or fear even after you think you are over it. Give your heart time to heal.

One year and beyond

Step1Compartmentalize the experience in your memory: "My heart was broken once. It really hurt and I'm glad it's over."

Step2 Reach out to your ex if you want to re-establish a friendship. Do not harbor secret ambitions of winning him or her back. You'll only set yourself up for another heartbreak

http://www.ehow.com/how_116958_mend-broken-heart.html

i was clearing out my spam mail, and saw this one. maybe it's for you.

just by reading all this words you'll get by... literally.LOL.

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veni, vidi, vici.

moonlight2000 - you're not alone. I've been there and basically did everything you said you're doing now - text, call, felt like killing myself, etc.etc. It took a few years for me to get over it .. but get over it, I certainly did. As they say, the 1st cut is the deepest and I came out of it much stronger. It is because of what I went through and the fact that I changed my frame of mind towards positive improvement, that I am what I am today.

How you deal with a broken heart? - Alsboy gave good advice:-

1. Avoid the former love.

To add - don't harbour any hope of reconciliation. Don't put your life on hold, hoping for something that may never come. Take it from me - I wasted 5 years. I still make mistakes but I'm not that stupid anymore. That's the reason why I can read most men like an open book, even if not immediately, I will, in due course of time.

2. Talk out your feelings with close friends.

To add: their support helps. Women are generally better listeners but some men are. In my case, I fell back on my female friends.

3. Cry if you want to.

4. Let go of mementos.

Yes - distract yourself from thinking about him. It takes about 8 continuous weeks for something to become a habit. Sometimes more. When I was in your position, I used to think that everybody didn't know what they were talking about when they said time heals all wounds because the emotional pain at that time was indescribable. But got over it, I certainly did.

5. Don’t slip up and get together with your ex.

To add - also be cautious with your next bf, that you are emotionally stable before you commit to another relationship - because you could be on the rebound - not only are you unfair to yourself but also to the new guy. Unfair to yourself because you could end up sticking to the new guy when you don't really love him, but feel obligated to him because he was there for you at your weakest moment. You might wake up one day and realize that your new guy is not the one you really want, leading to other problems.

That's why I'd prefer to lean on my female friends. Only get involved when you don't think about your ex or when you don't feel any regret or anger when thinking about your ex. Only then will you know that you have moved on - when you feel nothing for him.

6. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying...the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship.

- These things help to raise anger in you and initially, temporarily use that to propel yourself forward to move on. But remember to be careful that you don't internalize it too far, to paint all men with the same brush as your ex. Not all men are cads. (Many are, but not all)

8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it.

This is extremely important - to be able to let go. Like I said, make it a habit. You'll find it extremely difficult in the beginning but it will definitely get easier as you keep doing it. I used to forcibly stop myself from calling and texting my ex - this was about 8 years ago. I used to pray and focus on other things.

The mistake I made was not pulling myself together for about 4 years - I was doing what you're doing now. I got smarter in the 5th year and got my act together. It is extremely difficult but not impossible.

Luvhurts is also right - pamper yourself, girls nite-outs/sleep-overs, etc. Take care of yourself. Live for yourself and not for another, esp one who doesn't deserve you.

Edit - one last thing - stop justifying your ex's actions and blaming yourself. That's what I also did, but with hindsight, there was nothing wrong with me actually but I turned my hurt inward - because I didn't know any better at that time. I do now. And hell, I'm dangerous. Lol! ;-)

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

time can heal everything ... Forget about how does time will heal that, sometimes things got healed but ...

It would never be the same ..

Would leave a remark that would always be there ..

Would take days, months or years but in the end it would ..

Don't look to it as a lose, but an add to your experience in life ...

Life is a school, gives lessons for free [considering the different ways it will make you pay for those money is not there].

Either you be a good student, quick learner and pass quickly ...

Or be a bad one and learn the hard way ...

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)

Doesn't work..

I've been telling myself that for the past ten years and now I'm old and grey..

1. Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be.

2. Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later.

3. Cry if you want to. It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don’t want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.

4. Let go of mementos. Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong.

5. Don’t slip up and get together with your ex. When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you back and let’s face it, if things ended the relationship wasn’t perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things?

6. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying. Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won’t really miss.

7. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life.

8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.

Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Just stick to the game plan outlined above and before you know it you’ll be just fine. Good luck.

And hey... if none of those helped, keep intouch with QLers, there are always a hand full of loving people in here :)

but dont dwell too much on it for long coz it wont help you recover...

think about this: SINGLE IS SEXY (copied from Bench Ad :)

take it one day at a time.. be around with people who would make you look forward to tomorrow... don't listen to mushy music, better yet don't listen to any music at all.. :) ...pray and ask for more strength to keep you moving on..

good luck.. btw, getting hurt is part of our life cyle, you will be hurt for now but it does not mean that this will be forever.. :)

[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

how to deal? stop sulking and move on, it's not the end of the world....

LOVE can hurt but it can heal...

Not difficult for him.. He was out enjoying himeself last night..

You should do the same.. As the old saying goes.. "Plenty of fish in the sea".. Go find yourself a nice Cod and not a Shark..

lol Rizks from ur Inbox :)

Pajju...........

Tat was a good advice... thank you !!

By the way from were did u copy n pasted tat crap lines ?? :)

Meet new people..make yourself busy with something that interest you..try to look for the positive things..and pray

"You are built not to shrink down to less but to blossom into more" - Ophrah Winfrey-

The only thing that can really heal a broken heart is time. I think you should distance yourself from him for awhile. It'll probably help. Surround yourself with good friends & keep busy.

I know it's very difficult , I've been to this situation. What you need to do is to accept what happening now. Think first before you do anything bad that you might regret in the end, dont push to much coz it will only hurt you more and it will only make the the situation complicated...

to get your mind busy in something else.

a bottle of vodka and a warm bath..............

..............................will cheer you up

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Everyone Is Entitled To Be Stupid, But You Are

Abusing The Privilage.

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i 'd never never break ur heart

its not easy but u have to try.. socialize more and spend time with ur friends, meet new people. its difficult coz ur thinking of him, find a diversion where u can spend ur free time.

for me, i made extra efforts to make myself feel better - i went to d gym, had a new hairstyle, pampered myself, had a few dates, girls nite-outs/sleep-overs... by d time u realize it, ur too busy to even think of him!!

mmm another broken heart, I'm sorry moonlight. it's so sad! be strong and wakeup!