A GAY in the Family

tough question.. but i will cross the bridge when and if I will come to it.

"Whatever happens, I wish that you son actually become whatever you want him to be. And also if he turns out to be what you dislike, May God Give you the wisdom to accept it as he is your son."

Well said!

great post/comment :D

Saeedkan and Black buller, many thanks for your encouragement.It is rather amusing how we all tend to digress and do not answer the question being asked.Regards to you.

Bravo mate...!!

If you're the one in the parent's situation...what would you do or how would you cope?

I am a dad. I have a son and a daughter. My son is 10 yrs old. I think it is too early to say that your son is showing Gay traits. Perhaps what he is doing seems normal and innocent to him.

As a parent, I would spend more time with my son. Make him do things that are not crossing his mind.For example, take him on a short holiday to a boys' activity club. I would have told him about how I met his mother, how we married and when his mother was pregnant of him ,what things he were doings. Compare him to other children who were born around his time or before him. Indirectly make him interested in the natural cycle of life. For example, as a Muslim, I would tell him about the poeple of Sodom and Gommorah...and follow that story by telling him that animals do not, if not very very rarely, shows traits of Gay. Explain to him the idea of Procreation.

Sometime, I would tease him. For a fact, I introduced my son to a smaller girl who is really so cute that I honestly thought if I was able to, I would love to see them married to each other. He laughed the idea off. This might be nonsensical. But the idea is to make my son aware that one day he will have to marry and have kids like I did. I fully understand your concern. Try and keep him away from this uncle who is gay. I would be worried sick if I were you. But do not panick.That is the last thing I would do.

To answer your second question, I would cope with it by prayers. I would research the subject and discuss with friends. I cant think of any other ways.

Whatever happens, I wish that you son actually become whatever you want him to be. And also if he turns out to be what you dislike, May God Give you the wisdom to accept it as he is your son. At the end of the day: Nothing belongs to us. We all belong to God and to Him is our return.

Regards.

but I have always heard that you qatari gay guys don't think yourselves gay if you are on the giving end. Thanks for confirming it.

theory but all I am saying is that you are incorrect to state it is in the chromosomes. We simply don't have the fresearch showing that.

Debate 101 tells you that you need to check your facts and not put something out that your opponent can easily prove to be incorrect.

i want to know if this aberration is a manifestation of reduced testosteron levels in the blood? if it is, then it can probably be treated by alternative methods..

So what you're saying is that you don't mind having a gay son as long as he is a "giver" and not a "taker"

Wow blueflame. That was about as offensive as you can get. Please clean it up.

is genetic. It's a strong theory but bthere haven't been any genetic markers identified.

no matter how i beat him, or kick his a$$ he will not become a real man. that how he is so i cannot do anything about it.

i will accept him as who he was HOWEVER he should understand that being gay is not being a woman.

he should know his limitation, i don't like my son to be a slu++y b!tch!e fag, who loves getting his a** f***ed by random guys.

he should know how to conduct himself in a proper way that people won't see him as immoral. so he will gain respect and will not humiliate my family.

Man you come from a harsh culture. It would be illegal in my country for a parent to do that, although sometimes people slip under the radar. Still, for a parent to say they would kick out their kid at the age of 12 is shocking.

Nothing a visit to the strip joint wont solve. Let him see, smell and someday taste the benefits of being straight.

beat the gayness out of him ... let him be a real man !

there is nothing

wrong being GAY...

i have a lot of friends who are gay and they are all good people...

i love 'em!

there is nothing

wrong being GAY...

i have a lot of friends who are gay and they are all good people...

i love 'em!

there is nothing

wrong being GAY...

i have a lot of friends who are gay and they are all good people...

i love 'em!

Anyone who could help him?

Je me demande pourquoi toutes les annonces et tout les commentaires sont écrits en anglais.la diversification linguistique ouvre d'autres horizons,ainsi elle permet a connaitre plus, et discuter d'avantage.MERCI pour votre compréhension.

The mother is my mom's eldest sister.

My Uncle (the father) is a well known policeman in our homecity and a strict but loving father to his 7 children (5 girls and 2 boys).

The boy in question is my cousin (first degree) and this story happened 20 years back and at an early age of 7, he was the "queen" of the house :)

The boy grew up to be what he is now, a REGISTERED NURSE and currently working in UK.

I raised this question coz I never knew what my uncle's thoughts were about his youngest son. My uncle is a man of few mwords, he rarely smiles.

And I have a son too, aged 12 and lives with my mom, my daughter and a couple of my cousins' children are gays as well... yup, it runs in the family...I'm not ashamed/embarassed but I'm a little bit concerned myself, but not worried.

and if he is into it, then accept him, god has made him like this, after all he/she is your son/daughter

Well, it only goes to show that we could discuss topics without bashing each other...nice ;)

We have to accept all God's creations as they were made.

i think it so too early to judge him....

Age 12 to 15 is age between child hood & adult hood. It is too early to come to conclusion.Anger, rejections or feeling the god was not fair to parents, to have such child in a family any such conversation would push child withdrawal, or towards such orientation.Many children are abused and are not able understand what happen but once they realised, the compliants were lodged many adults were convicted for child abuse.. Be normal to child,spend quality time as parents, engage him in sports activity,other mental activity, dose of moral education, mix schools education,keep an eye who is interacting on chatrooms,or internet watching, not alone with unknown adults or the uncle who you think is gay,who friends are. All could be done in a way by not embrassing, the child. It is difficult but not impossible. Above all professinal help for parents as well as child. God willingly he will be perfect Gentleman.

only rare cases of being gay can b solved thru counsellin or somthin lik tht..

I totally agree - unless they're traumatised or displaying psychopathic behaviours!

Kids should never be taken to psychologists.

There's nothing wrong with being gay.

Taking a child to a psychologist won't do anything - all it will do is make the child feel ashamed and dirty and then when he can't stop feeling as he does, surely the risk of suicide is increased by being made an outcast? Suppressing a child's feelings (in any way) will surely just cause later problems when he (or she) is older.

Well, agree or dont agree. there is nothing to do with chromosome disorder in being a gay. this is something which is against nature. So god wouldnt create anyone as a gay.If this is a true incident, please take the child to a good psychologist and get it over. the child must have been misled by some other person with the same wrong mentality. Make him understand and change him and do all what you can to bring him back to a proper human being and an asset to the society. Dont spoil his future by accepting the modern trends of LET IT BE and ITS HIS WISH etc

it takes a gay to catch a gay.

My boys are my boys and always will be, regardless of whether they fall in love with men or women.

50 years old would be right time to make a conclusion...

12 is definitely too young to make such assumptions...

gay thread always attracts gay posters....

sister & daughter, & i dont have to cope of their being gay, i just accepted and embrace their being gay.

every inividual has his own role to play...

if we could understand our friend/s - why not on our child/children... should i say what more...

noms, i think that marriage would be chaos.....

get him married to a Lesbian....both of 'em would be cheating!

tinkerbell, are you saying that in a way the child is 'abnormal'?

i just want to understand some more of what you said, please? :)

LOL saeedkan! some say's its in the genes of both parents, and it's clear the uncle is a GAY...ola-laaa!

Saeedkan - its YOUR opinion and thats what counts to you. There are no rights and wrongs here, merely opinions - thats what the OP asked for and thats what he is getting!! No worries.

tinkerbell wellsaid , sexual orientation is not by choice

hey lobot, am a sis not a bro :))

saeedkan, i don't think it would the parents fault if the child turns out to be gay because the child has also the right to think for himself (that's why he got brain) and also he has feelings (you know..)

So you'd toss your 12 year old son out into the street saeedkan. What kind of crappy parent are you?

jojo, ok bro i understand you...

I'd treat him as a normal kid that he is, or she is (if she's lesbian)...

As long as he/she lives life and does things with the right intentions, I see no reason to regret anything :)

saeedkhan, are you a parent? What has upbringing got to do with someone being gay?

..

lobot, i think being gay isn't just about having sexual intercourse with the same gender.... (no offense buddy..)

I don't mind.... he is my son, no matter what..

If he is gay, let it be. The boy is 12, and may think he's gay, when all he wants is a male role model who doesn't berate him. Tough military dads tend to do that.

You dont have to be married to have an opinion....

Agree drmana.. :)

The father is in grief stage..

* Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

* Anger (why is this happening to me?)

* Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)

* Depression (I don't care anymore)

* Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

It's destiny---- our son's and daughter's are children of tomorrow, we can only guide and teach them to the proper way of living, but we can't do exactly what they should be.

em not married yet...so no comments from my side :D

lobot: LOL

how can one be sure, the elder two bro aint gay... not necessary the youngest one's type!

he can only be a gay when he sexually contacted sword by sword with his same gender...

Love him for who he is...my child at the end of the day and nothing he could do would ever stop me loving him... that is not to say I would agree with everything he does but I would not change the way I feel about him.

i hope all parents are like that - accepting the child they have..

and if their child is homosexual, then it's not their fault right?

it's up to the person/child on how s/he will upbring her/himself in a way that although he's against the norm, s/he will still look and should be respected by others..

**sigh**

Lots of tough military guys and even wresters rugby players are gay

as long as he will know his limits!

Ist step: Denial

2nd step: anger

3rd step: Realisation

4th step: acceptance

Everything would be fine.....

I would have accepted the fact as it is..Beating and scoldings are not the way..So it would be wise to accept the reality and the way he/she born..

Take him out shoe shopping and then to a broadway musical.

mothers will always understand (i hope so).

acceptance is a gift. :)

My kid is my kid. No matter if he is gay, lesbian, bisexual or whatever. he will receive as much love as any other child.