In a fix of sorts....
Alright.I'm a bit of a fix at the moment.This relates to one of the friends' circles that I am a part of.
We're like around 6 of us.One of us (not me!) recently had the good luck to be awarded a promotion at work and she received the news sometime back.She happily shared the good news with me and told me that since her boss had told her not to make it public until it was formally announced,I was not to share it with anyone as well.I kept my word.
A week ago,it was formally announced.I was quite surprised to see the reactions of my other friends,though.All of them,except me,were nothing less than furious.They accused her of not telling them before and of being a scheming and cunning b***h :-( They asked me if I knew anything about this before.I said that all I knew was that her boss respected her a lot for her hard-work and maybe that's why he thought she deserved a promotion.
Now,when we get together,the others talk to her as usual and laugh and joke as before.She is totally unaware of their inner feelings and she innocently tells us about her new challenges at work,etc.But once she leaves,the back-biting starts.
I feel sad and confused.Should I tell her what they are doing behind her back?She is a dear friend and has done nothing they all accuse her of.I can't favour either side coz the other girls haven't done or said anything hurtful to me,in person.In fact they are all very jovial and friendly with me.
But all this is bothering me.What if they begin to harbour similar feelings towards me too....if I get lucky?
Am I doing a mistake?I don't know... :-(
"You are never alone or helpless. The force that guides the stars guides you too.”
~ Amrta Shrii Shrii Anandamurti(Indian born Guru, 1921-1990)
You can't teach experience...
Well, honestly....why don't you tell these back bitters to shut up!
Its nothing else but jealousy.
these are people i cannot totally avoid.but like a few of my worthy friends said,i think i'll be careful about them.this has just come as a rude shock to me.i trust people easily....maybe a weakness.i have already demoted them to just acquaintances and will be careful about what i tell them.
thanks everyone! :-)
i feels good to be talked to in a nice way for a change :-)
"You are never alone or helpless. The force that guides the stars guides you too.”
~ Amrta Shrii Shrii Anandamurti(Indian born Guru, 1921-1990)
This situation can only be with female friends :P
Guys will be more interested in having a booze fest for celebration ;)
**** Aal Izz Well****
am sure they were your friends in good times only. Goodness, and the backstabbing, professional jealousy... no way to stay friends with this kind of pipol, they may be fun to be with but the friendship ends there...
Well, if you are strong enuf the next time they say something about the other you can tell them frankly that you are not comfortable with it then joke about "hopin ur not talking about me that way when am not with u gurls"! Later on you can tell the person concern, or if really really you can't do all this, then my dear the best way is to just stay away from your friends and make new one with the mature minds coz it is not a healthy relationship you have with your group my dear , sorry to say.
Oryx - grateful to know you! :))
I bet this Typical Girls GOSSIP thread will cross 1000 post...Good work Girls!!! Wastage allaround!!
"Let the truth Prevail"
I have to agree with Labda. If you really care about this other friend, then you shouldn't be associating with people who speak bad about her and think nothing of talking behind her back. Personally I try to avoid that kind of negativity.
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce
Labda is right...
you need to check what that word means in a dictionary.
Either
a) demote them to acquaintances
b) make new friends
c) enjoy your own company
Makes me grateful to know you Labda :)
Saggi, the answer you're looking for depends ultimately on what you want and...who you are.
Are you looking for genuinie friendships where loyalty is paramount? Then clearly this is not the group that you want to be investing your time in. Are you looking for people to help you pass the time? (which isnt a bad thing) then bite your tongue and go with the flow.
I quote my dear friend Snessy here "If you haven't got anything nice to say,please don't say anything at all"
"You are never alone or helpless. The force that guides the stars guides you too.”
~ Amrta Shrii Shrii Anandamurti(Indian born Guru, 1921-1990)
Welcome to Qatar. I've had a couple of "friends" like this, they aren't worth your time of day.
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce
labda06 is right, those are not friends. just be civil with them i guess :)
www.live365.com/stations/thevault85
labda has a point.. if they can talk like that about your other friend, who knows what they say about you when you're not around.. you all need to have a heart to heart talk, just be honest about each other's feelings, whether positive or negative, it'll help you settle whatever issues each one of you has with one another.. personally, i hate friends that stab you in the back, if somebody does that to me, she's wiped out of my friend list..
i don't know what i should be doing....?if i go tell my victim friend,i'll be breaking up many friendships....okay,i do admit that they're not real close friends,in the real sense.but friends are friends....and till this particular incident,we were a good gang.
"You are never alone or helpless. The force that guides the stars guides you too.”
~ Amrta Shrii Shrii Anandamurti(Indian born Guru, 1921-1990)
LOL, you call those friends?? Trust me, if they're talking like that about your friend, most likely than not they're talking like that about you too!
Man, every day I realise how lucky I am to have the close friends that I have. I don't have any "friends" like the ones you describe. Acquaintenances sure, but I never pay them any mind.
nobody? :-(
"You are never alone or helpless. The force that guides the stars guides you too.”
~ Amrta Shrii Shrii Anandamurti(Indian born Guru, 1921-1990)