Extra-marital affairs are good for marriage

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Right!

If we had no rules where would we be?

Yes, you're right - France!

BILL SHUT.....

I have a hard time taking the mentioned information seriously. In fact, I have a hard time taking France seriously.

Also Brit Expat:

I find it's a rather different situation knowing if a man is married or if your husband is having a affair.

In one case, you know your partner inside and out in most cases and notice deviations in behavior. However, I won't completely discredit female intuition. Sometimes we do just have a feeling about it.

On the other hand in the hand you are meeting someone for the first time. While most married men have some tell tale habits some are rather good at concealing them.

In anycase I'm just saying that I do not agree with that. Women do not always choose to look the other way.

Also who cares about the French they bring nothing to the table. I once read the French are the worst tourists literally in the world, lol.

Well, the French have always been....different. ;)

so what if a woman has an affair? will men just accept their wives need breathing space and allow them to sleep with another man? i don't think so.

what a load of rubbish.

If a husband is having an extra marital affair..until caught everything is fine..

why try to justify? Ask him...if he is happier with that relation.. leave him!! and vice versa..

If my hubby don’t want me..why would I want him???

And btw..it wont happen in a day…a wife who love and care her husband can see the change in him from day one! I pity all those wives who are so self-absorbed that they are clueless about their husband’s affair.

just my view!!!

Actually no justification at all!

Extra-marital affair!!! I just hate it...If we think that a relationship is no longer worth...CALL IT OFF before go for the another relationship.

And, CALL IT OFF - Be mature to do it.

How did we get on to male bashing ???

Both sexes have affairs and extra marital relationships. Infact , some studies have shown that women are more so..

Puts the spice back in the marriage? Lolz!

Not acceptable anyway, as it's plain selfish, HIV n all other risks. Variety being the spice of life, he can have as many female friends as he wants to but at the end of the day, he should come home to only his wife/partner.

And it works both ways :P

Also, if there's something lacking in the partner, perhaps no pole dancing skills or the like, then it's up to him to be proactive and do something about it rather than taking the easy way out.

"Vaillant reckons that men who keep mistresses actually improve their marriage."

Well, there is some truth in this, like most misleading statements, people get bored of routine and take a break from their partners to get a breather. I'd say that's healthy to do so but take a break like travel or do some activity separately for that breather!

"For such men, who are in fact profoundly monogamous, infidelity is almost unavoidable".

Hmmm.. now that is worrisome and feeds the wrong perceptions.

"In her book, Vaillant insists that fidelity is not, by definition proof of love."

Yeah, it's a proof of character. This statement simply justifies weak characters.

Yawn! ...

haha... this is totally frm a guyz point... what if its the wife has an affiar??? is tht good too??

Well I truly believe that no two marriages are the same and every couple has to find what works for them I call bull patootie on the "Males aren't monogamous" crap. Men have been monogamous since we were cavemen because it makes the most sense from an evolutionary standpoint and from a survival standpoint. For humans pairing up has always made the most sense. In ancient societies the man was called on to protect and hunt for his family, the bigger the family the harder this was for the man, so having more than one wife was not feasible (until much later in our evolution when we developed money and than a hierarchy of the wealthy and the poor).

What has men confused is that they think monogamy means that they'll stop being attracted to other women, however that's not the case. It's an evolutionary imperative that we remain attracted to others (or else we would all kill ourselves if our mate died, like some bird species), but remaining attracted to others does not mean going out and messing around with them. In fact in cave man society, if men had gone around screwing every female they were attracted to in sight it would have been chaos, leading to incest within the close knit tribes, etc.

I think modern man has stopped realizing the importance of family and spends too much time thinking with their dicks and not their heads.

then it's called a f*****g BIG B******T!! :P

timebandit..Swinging is when both partners are involved and is been done with consent of both. But what if they are concealing this extra-maritial affair.

One word that comes in my mind is Disgusting?

Swinging UK

Are you trying to make us help you justify an act of infidelity ??

ok here is another scenario.. Both the parties who are involved are married! Then what do you call that?

I guess the above is another attempt by the French so called secular society to undermine the institution of marriage and dis-regard to the Church! by encouraging infedility.

I take great offence at this ..

She says .."They lack suppleness ..."

I would have you know that most of us , including UkEngQatar are supple, lean and energetic...

ask Pikey :)

Ok but what if the man is single and the woman who he is having the romance with turns out to be married. What would you call that?

when woman thinks of mr she hardly returns to the old man. The same is not true for man. Am I right?

Funny thread...especially for Qatar..lolololol

agreed

few animals are monogamous male/female

and polygamy in the animal kingdom is not gender specific.

I believe i have higher mental powers than a doormouse or a mongoose or something. Unfortunately I can't say the same for a couple of the ex bfs! LOL

Crap....

lets just all be free to do as we please...not one sided

cheers!

yes

male species is polygamous by nature. we can find many examples of this in animals and earlier cultures, tribes, kingdoms and religions...

its time the females accept this fact and leave their husbands to do what they feel like doing..:)

Apart from Briggitte Bardot, lace cami knickers and Gitanes and french cuisine ..

What have the French ever done for us ?

I think your sentence is too complex.

'men think we r fools,

It only needs the first word or miss out two and three....when the blood goes south...they are prepared to deny their wife and children.

Unfortunately many ladies will oblige for

a) short term financially generous bf

b) cos they want some drama

c) they want a passport

And then there are the women who actively seek to create discord in a marriage and surprising (rolls eyes) the man usually has a Western passport.

Good to hear that we're agreed :O)

Now, getting back to the story..

What have the French ever done for us ?

Apart from Briggitte Bardot, lace cami knickers and Gitanes that is ...

I don't quite always believe in instinct. I believe in perception built from conscious and subconscious messages going to the synapses. There is a lot of thought process going on and we call it instinct because we have no physical proof.

hmmm, a blind item.. :P

Why doesn't that surprise me? and don't worry its rhetorical.

QLSG for example.... meet people for the first time.

The clue for me is in the gaps in their stories when they are talking and the pauses/sideway glances.

Do you realise how premeditated it must be to talk in the 'I' and not 'We' all the time leaving out chunks from experiences...???

Takes a lot of effort...deny your family and then try to deceive some innocent party for your own satisfaction....

can PM you a QLSGer... and UK knows what i am on about.

i had somthing but i donno lobotomy.what thats cn u tell me Oryx

You're a lady of this world.. I mean .. You've done it.. Nudge Nudge , wink wink .. say no more...

As a lady of this world , would you say that you can usually (after a couple of meets) sense whether a man is married or not ?

Tinker: Hypothetical question. Would you say that you would be able to sense if your hubby was having an affair ?

Have you had a lobotomy or something???

princess sarah..i married bachelar

Tinker is right about:

when a man does it then a wife shud forgive and take him back but when a woman does it then she gets called a whole host of names

This scenario always happen. Such an unfair statement for women to say that extra marital affairs r healthy.

If i'm dating a married guy,i will surely notice..if i ignore the signs then I must have a very big reason behind it then..

french people did research..they have strong point.they jes want to reduce the numbers of lesbian in frence

this deserves one big BULLS**T!

Let's phrase it another way...... a lot of men conceal they are married. The woman has to actively find out.

When I do...on principle they get a cold shoulder like a glacier from me....regardless of whether the interest is romantic.

I know I can be a B@tch in a very subtle way.

You set out to deceive and deny the existence of supposedly your life partner and kids....there isn't even a basis for even a casual friendship in my opinion.

Interesting fact but disgusting at the same time? Hmmmmm

But I guess when it comes to ensuring one has his desires fulfilled by hook or by crook then all the education in the world will be hopeless!

i am convinced as i am sure this theory must be based on sound research ;)...convinincing wifes must be tricky unless...the theory is reciprocative and the same applies to extra marital affairs of wifes as well.

snessy, French know French.

FathimaH, stop using 'my friend...' in your story!

Please....

9 out of 10 ? Let's get serious..

Women are a lot smarter than you give them credit for. They know and can sense these things. the fact that they choose to ignore these things is another matter..

Both my friend and her ex are from well educated "conservative" families living in Colombo!

and that sucks more. A man who can't be a good husband to one woman like he would be better to another! Seriously this is one topic that truly truly makes me frothing mad!

to have their way! I remember back home a friend was having major marital probs. Her now ex husband was plain awful not giving her rights and treating her like crap. And then his uncle shows up to counsel them and advices her father, mind you, to encourage the guy to have an affair saying its a sure fire way to fix his issues! Do many people really believe this?? I pray not..

man does because woman does. how man can do it alone?

What do the French know...

big BS wasting time over french garbage

2 words : BS

..or is it one word? :P

So what does she think of women who keep men?

This is an outlandish claim to say the least.

No just the opposite of it tinker.

It is a fact.

BIG BS and typical french... coming up with rubbish...lame excuse just talking for the sake of talking with no substance

men are always happy in all ways.

ohh,,i will totally disagree..

Very true. Very very true.

In societies where this sort of thing is allowed/tolerated, women tend to be prettier too.

Rubbish !!

Once a woman stops trusting her husband, then Kaput!!