::: ExPLaNatIONS :::

Rizks
By Rizks

1. Losing all your friends

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."

2. Brother wanted

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,"send me a brother"....
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....

3. Meaning of WIFE

Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"

4. Importance of a period

Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away."

5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential? "
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! "

6. Anger management?

Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
Wife: "I use your toothbrush ."

By anonymous• 13 Jul 2008 14:12
anonymous

both are ......lol

By anahmed• 13 Jul 2008 11:24
anahmed

Never Ask for a SMILE..just GIVE it..

By Rizks• 13 Jul 2008 11:23
Rizks

Chinese to U.S.A.....

5 Chinese, Chu, Bu, Hu, Fu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .

In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their names to American standards.

Chu became Chuck

Bu became Buck

Hu became Huck

*

*

*

*

Fu and Su decided to stay in China

By anonymous• 13 Jul 2008 11:17
anonymous

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her thank you notes. "She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

By Loulsy• 13 Jul 2008 11:16
Loulsy

LOL

WYSIWYG

By Rizks• 13 Jul 2008 11:10
Rizks

i could not find a new one Charan Bro ....

Wait lemme dig the GRAVE for some new onez :(

By anonymous• 13 Jul 2008 11:08
anonymous

Old Old Old Old Old :(

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