Dumb Questions....Smart Answers!

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...

Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...

Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask....

Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was
sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair....

Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...

Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-Gosh, it's a miracle ........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!