Driving in Qatar: The Alternative Perspective

Smelly_Indian_Coolie
By Smelly_Indian_Coolie

I’ve been living in this country for a while now and I’ve had enough with the constant whining about the driving. I mean, don’t you people get tired of preaching after a while? Instead of being a cry-baby, if each one of you chose to observe the roads, like I did, you’d all realise that there is a proper system in place that works for everyone. I urge you all to stop trying to convert our roads into some utopian Motorway from the West, as it is never going to happen; these pointers should help you in coming to terms with the local reality:

  1. When I’m on the phone while driving, I’m doing two things at the same time. I have to do this as, unlike you, I am a real busy person with real important things to do. Just because you don’t have the skills to do something doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t do it. I have complete confidence in my abilities and I even send text messages when I have to. Now, while I’m at it, it’s completely natural that I may slow down a bit or swerve slightly into another lane. You don’t have to be a Drama Queen and throw a tantrum about that; I know what I’m doing and I don’t need some fool honking at me. Spare me your aggressive behaviour and learn to RESPECT others.
  2. If I’m on the outside lane while approaching a Roundabout and decide to do a U-turn, I will turn on my indicator. This is a cue for all you dimwits on the inside and middle lanes to stop your vehicles and let me execute my manoeuvre. Let’s all just stick to this PRACTICAL rule and avoid accidents OK? If my Indicator isn’t turned on for some reason, it is an opportunity for your power of INTUITION to exercise itself.
  3. Unlike you morons, I live an action packed life. I make quick and important decisions everyday. This means – surprise – my plans change all the time. Suppose, I’m about to turn into The Ramada and realise at the last minute that I have left behind my iPhone (two months old, Faux Diamond encrusted; call: 1255 4466 if you’re interested) at the Costa Coffee in the City Centre, it is very natural that I will have to charge across four lanes to complete a U-turn. Now, I’ve rolled down my window and I have my arms stretched out signalling at you bumbling idiots to slow down; precisely which part of this instruction do you not understand, huh? When I’m executing such a difficult manoeuvre, under extreme stress due to my missing iPhone, the last thing I need is a cacophony of blaring horns, screeching tires, flashing headlights, and dirty looks. Ever heard about being CONSIDERATE? A poor man is in obvious distress and all you lot are worried about are some stupid rules? We live in what is called, a Society; other people have feeling too, you know?
  4. So, I double-parked my car and you had to wait for fifteen minutes, while I popped in for a quick shave. Big deal; get over it! It’s not like you are James Bond with three minutes to save the world and I got in your way. I double-parked, as there was no parking available. Would you rather have me waste my precious time trying to find non-existing parking? When will you twats learn to RELAX?
  5. Speed Cameras have been fixed in their places all over the city for a long time now. We all know where they are placed and it’s not like these cameras walk up and down all the time; they are stationary, as in they do not move, ever. So, why on earth can’t you nincompoops drive a bit faster when we are miles away from any Camera? I ask you, “If a tree fell in the forest and no one was around to hear it fall, did it make a sound?” THINK people, use your intelligence.

The reality is that all the crap you learned at that Driving School is to ensure that you passed that stupid test and not so that you can be a nuisance on the roads. Everyone needs to be practical about things and be flexible in your approach to life. Life is not just about following rules; it’s about getting things done efficiently. I really hope that you moaners change your ways and make a sincere effort to fit in.

 

Caveat: Before any of you decide to get your Chuddies in a twist, please be aware that this post should be filed under Humour. Here’s a big Smiley to prove it :-D

By GodFather.• 18 Feb 2010 15:03
GodFather.

He always gave a picture from the otherside..

-----------------

Can We Fix It?

Yes We Can!

By boogiedownberlin• 2 Jun 2008 15:20
boogiedownberlin

I think the biggest problem with people out here in the middle-east (at least out here in Dubai) is that they rarely use their indicators when changing lanes. when I drive in Dubai, I always have to think for the cars in front of me, is he gonna change lanes? Is he gonna check his blind spot? Dont they teach that in driving schools out here? People dont even check their blind spots!

And yes, talking on the phone and driving can be distractive. Thats a fact. I am not saying never talk on the phone while you are behind the wheel, but do you really have to talk to your wife/gf for two hours while driving??!?!?

By anonymous• 25 May 2008 21:48
Rating: 5/5
anonymous

Do you drive a Mercedes car? Your car most have all those German innovations and safety features?

Very nice and progressive move, Just remember that is not the car, but the driver....

oh hell, I might as well start calling those no-drivers in Doha streets, Smelly Indian Coolies, Smelly Qatari coolies, Smelly Bangladesh Coolies, or just simply Smelly AS#H&oles coolies!

"I call upon you all, political forces, citizens, to start a new phase which is called 'Lebanon and the Lebanese people', in which we are committed to the national project, with a civilized mindset."

Lebanese President Michel Sleiman

By chunglai• 20 May 2008 07:32
chunglai

you're the man!

By bleu• 19 May 2008 21:06
bleu

By Smelly_Indian_Coolie• 19 May 2008 21:02
Smelly_Indian_Coolie

Mr. Paul:

Good Question. Me and my mates were shopping for Three Litre Bottles of Pepsi at the Megamart and the kind Philipino girl there slid me a Raffle Coupon; she even filled it for me, bless her soul. Well, these days I'm setting the hood ablaze in a Mercedez, innit? People have even started calling me Mr. Smelly; I know how you feel now:-D

By anonymous• 19 May 2008 19:18
anonymous

join 'em"

It's true, some signs are placed on a wrong place. They should have put 80 on a 60 road. 100 on 80 signs and so on... lolz

By anonymous• 19 May 2008 17:26
anonymous

You are a smelly Indian coolie, therefore you are a lowly worker, therefore poorly paid, therefore you get taken to yer labour camp free in the back of a Dana truck.....So why have yer got a licence and why are yer driving ? :D

Just a thought....... :P

[img_assist|nid=103941|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

By Kodak_7.0• 19 May 2008 17:15
Rating: 5/5
Kodak_7.0

I'm have been here only month, and the driving in this country could use a little refinement. When I'm driving down the road in this country I see plenty of people that should not be driving. For example, you never pull out in front of another driver. By pulling out in front of another driver you could cause an acident and perchaps multiple collisions.

One more things my fellow country men this not the grand prix, and there is a posted speed limit that all of us should follow. I'm still on my soap box people need to utilize there turning singles, and just maybe you things will get a lot better. I think defensive driving strategies should taught to avoid accidents. If you need a definition about defensive driving please feel free to send me a message. I will gladly explain to you.

Mr. Kodak_7.0

By Snowstorm• 19 May 2008 16:26
Rating: 4/5
Snowstorm

trainees so they are aware of it before hitting the road.

cheers

 

http://www.qatarliving.com/group/ql-kairali

YOU DONT KNOW ME, DONT EVEN TRY !!!

[img_assist|nid=98090|title=New|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

By Snowstorm• 19 May 2008 16:23
Rating: 5/5
Snowstorm

i liked the words put in bold.....

keep it coming......

cheers

 

http://www.qatarliving.com/group/ql-kairali

YOU DONT KNOW ME, DONT EVEN TRY !!!

[img_assist|nid=98090|title=New|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

By Smelly_Indian_Coolie• 19 May 2008 15:27
Smelly_Indian_Coolie

Guys,

It's good to see that some of you enjoyed my write-up.

Anytime Tigasin, anytime:)

By shale• 19 May 2008 15:18
shale

That was brilliant!

By Tigasin321• 19 May 2008 09:46
Tigasin321

You are exactly right. I am ashamed that I was too stupid to understand all this until you patiently explained it to me.

Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about

By anonymous• 19 May 2008 09:40
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

Hopefully one of the lampposts might never fall down on a car on the Al Waab Street - this means your State of Earth will be instantly removed to the State of Heaven - but honestly do we all want to go with you????

By andinewnham• 19 May 2008 09:34
Rating: 4/5
andinewnham

Love it.

By anonymous• 19 May 2008 09:19
anonymous

the idiot was a RICHARD CRANIUM

By Vivo Bonito• 19 May 2008 09:00
Rating: 2/5
Vivo Bonito

~~~ We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp and some are dull, some are pretty, some have weird names and all are of different colors, but they all have to learn to live in the same box.~~~

By anonymous• 19 May 2008 08:57
anonymous

im sorry but the word dh is not swearing and any anybody who nearly runs you over is a dh

*Moderator note - please read the Community Guidelines and refrain from using offensive language*

By anonymous• 19 May 2008 08:32
anonymous

and thanks to the just young arab (Moderator - no swearing) who was overtaking outside villagio main entrance in his toyta "Camel Crusier" nearly running me and my 4yr old son over , its turds like that i hate , no brains at all

By anonymous• 19 May 2008 07:19
anonymous

it boils down into this simple thing. . . . . . . YOU SHOULD NOT BE AT A PLACE OR SITUATION THAT YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO OR SHOULD NOT BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. RESPECT IS THE ONLY NAME OF THE GAME

By Architect.J• 19 May 2008 03:25
Architect.J

smelly dude, now I am ur biggest fan!

---Life is Fragile, Handle With Prayer---

By nadt• 18 May 2008 23:45
nadt

Hilarious post..I like the warning on the bottom just incase some people took it as serious advice...

By bleu• 18 May 2008 21:23
bleu

I agree with everything you said :)

By Dracula• 18 May 2008 19:40
Dracula

.DRIVING IN QATAR IT'S LIKE DRIVING IN ITALY...

PLEASE LOOK AT THIS

.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

By anonymous• 18 May 2008 19:34
Rating: 3/5
anonymous

Great Comment to the Traffic in Doha and it explains it all.

By ascivil• 18 May 2008 19:26
Rating: 5/5
ascivil

Driving in Qatar is like M & M. Drive like Maniacs and then act like Morons! More to the drama, all traffic signs like no u turn, no entry are purely for decorative purposes only. Drive as you like seems to be the rule here!

By Khanan• 18 May 2008 17:51
Khanan

post..its thought provoking and humor filled....

was i one of the moron at ramda junction who honked at you when you forgot ur i-phone.???.;)

By someonenew• 18 May 2008 17:27
Rating: 3/5
someonenew

Since u were considering a name change i think u shud change it to Smiley Indian Coolie

I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown

By Korly• 18 May 2008 17:12
Rating: 2/5
Korly

literally......

By thexonic• 18 May 2008 16:10
Rating: 4/5
thexonic

hahahahahaha hats off to the evasive manoeuvres :D

Una palabra no dice nada, Y al mismo tiempo, Lo esconde todo - Outlandish

By qatman• 18 May 2008 15:58
qatman

Smelly, very well said.

By shreeya• 18 May 2008 14:55
Rating: 5/5
shreeya

On the way from the Mall to LULU, I have seen a Land Cruiserist driving in the middle of two lanes and was reading some important files. What a 'Dedicated to work' person he must be!!!! I think he can't afford to waste the time of driving. And secondly, he has to complete his work this way as all his sub-ordinates simply busy on the Qatar Living the whole day...lol...

[img_assist|nid=52086|title=Life is never boring, but some people choose to be bored.... Boredom is a choice. - Wayne W. Dyer|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

By dragonfly212• 18 May 2008 14:45
dragonfly212

i like your observation as usual smelly..

Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.

By dragonfly212• 18 May 2008 14:38
dragonfly212

what to say about some lunatics on the road????

Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.

By King Edshel• 18 May 2008 14:35
Rating: 5/5
King Edshel

on my way to a school in Wakra, about less than the 300 meters to the roundabout and I have to go left while this crazy maniac riding a land cruiser is flashing. I give him a signal that I'm going left so i have to be there and the place is full with cars, so to where should i go?

He was completely an idiot and start honking the horn and flashing and I was like, man ... it would never change and nothing can stop this craziness ... in the roundabout he over take me and jump in front of me, so proud of himself and hit the brakes and was looking in his side mirror so i decided not even to look at his ugly face and look to the other side ...

So he continue and he was going straight !!! I was really like, it is your lucky day that you did not try to go out as I'm really pissed of and see nothing but darkness in front of me and don't care if i would be sent home because of his stupidity ...

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)

Log in or register to post comments

More from Qatar Living

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Let's dive into the best beaches in Qatar, where you can have a blast with water activities, sports and all around fun times.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

This guide brings you the top apps that will simplify the use of government services in Qatar.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

this guide presents the top must-have Qatar-based apps to help you navigate, dine, explore, access government services, and more in the country.
Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Qatar's winter months are brimming with unmissable experiences, from the AFC Asian Cup 2023 to the World Aquatics Championships Doha 2024 and a variety of outdoor adventures and cultural delights.
7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

Stuck with a week-long holiday and bored kids? We've got a one week activity plan for fun, learning, and lasting memories.
Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a sweet escape into the world of budget-friendly Mango Sticky Rice that's sure to satisfy both your cravings and your budget!
Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in  high-end elegance

Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in high-end elegance

Delve into a world of culinary luxury as we explore the upmarket hotels and fine dining restaurants serving exquisite Mango Sticky Rice.
Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Celebrate World Vegan Day with our list of vegan food outlets offering an array of delectable options, spanning from colorful salads to savory shawarma and indulgent desserts.