Don't Help your people

ADCO
By ADCO

I am not giving advice to the QL members by above topic, but really in my mind question!! " why You are always getting headache & troubles when you help your relative or your people to come Qatar? "

I know many cases like mien happened with other friends & I am really deeply tired & sad ... asking my self .. is the natural now to keep away of your people or relative & not helping them.... & why, as a humans we must cut the hand laid to help us .... why this new generation doesn’t feel thankful or appreciating to person move up him to have totally new good life....

my starting here was like cutting stone by your Niles... no body help me... no body smile to me... but even that i tried to help & support... & what is the result .... family troubles, too much headache... losing money.... & no even one thanks..

So, tell me ... shall we go through this & swear to stop being human like God want us... "Help each other" … tell me

By ADCO• 19 Nov 2007 15:30
ADCO

What is this "S.......T" looool :-P

By ainarl• 19 Nov 2007 14:31
ainarl

I have done enough already. evrytime they are in trouble here im cleaning their S.......T! enough is enough and no more mr. nice guy. they will use you and abuse you until the last drop of your blood. you have to learn to say NO, I have learn my lesson already.

"waiting is an art, timing is everyting"

By ADCO• 19 Nov 2007 12:21
ADCO

So, if again other ask you for help will you do again.... this is the challenge of my self I am facing.

I thought when I bring my relative, I will have the family I lost away of my country but indeed.. I have the enemies now.

By t_coffee_or_me• 19 Nov 2007 12:20
t_coffee_or_me

I know what you mean... the problem is when you give something free without they spending any money of their own to get here, and get a job thrown on their lap they dont know the value .....

I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here

Than a whole truck load when I'm gone

By ainarl• 19 Nov 2007 12:12
Rating: 5/5
ainarl

I'm with you man, i have helped a lot of friends and relatives to come and work here as easy as possible. no interviews no screening and etc. etc. and land a job instantly. but all i got from them is envy and jealousy.

"waiting is an art, timing is everyting"

By paul• 19 Nov 2007 11:37
Rating: 2/5
paul

Help, you will be helped.

Someday somewhere

By Cornellian• 19 Nov 2007 01:11
Cornellian

In that case, if I do marry one of ur sons...with both of our families combined, we'll be kicked out of all the countries and given a small island in the middle of nowhere so we wouldn't disturb anyone hahaha.

Have a goodnight! I'm off to study...woohoo!

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 01:03
Scarlett

old lady syndrome...you know...where's my rocking chair??

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 01:02
Scarlett

that's why I like you so much...and I'm always confident...I got two great sons...who love to try and embarrass mom all the time...We'd probably all get thrown out of a restaurant as a whole family tho...disturbing the peace..

By Cornellian• 19 Nov 2007 00:59
Cornellian

Oh I love ur confidence! hahaha...not "IF u marry one of my sons"..."WHEN u marry one of my sons"...LOL

Careful though I can be quite embarrassing in public, I can do the craziest things and not give a damn! :D

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 00:53
Scarlett

when you marry one of my sons you will fit into my family quite nicely...(notice I slipped that in quite easily...)

By Cornellian• 19 Nov 2007 00:49
Cornellian

Nope, that's just how my family is! lol...ah I love 'em!

Actually now, instead of my mom embarrassing me...I embarrass her! hahaha

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 00:43
Scarlett

you been spying on us??

By Cornellian• 19 Nov 2007 00:42
Rating: 3/5
Cornellian

Family can be annoying, loud, embarrassing, troublesome, etc but life without family isn't worth living.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 00:37
Rating: 2/5
Scarlett

and not what i meant by unsatisfied...I meant with yourself..not achievements...achievements aren't what life is about...

no one is a saint..we are human...plain and simple and Destiny is what you make of it...it might be your destiny to walk across the street safely on a certain day..or you might be the next leader of a country...your destiny is in your own hands...so..take charge of it...letting it wallow and rot is a waste of a good life.

now...go be whatever you are..but just don't spread negativity, please..and remember..there are people out there who believe in who you are...even if you don't know us...peace, knox...

By knoxcollege• 19 Nov 2007 00:31
knoxcollege

If we are all satisfied with our achievements in life and we do not desire more than why shouldn't we become saints as all our desires have been fulfilled. Desires, wishes, ambitions, greed, never stop. Destiny never comes.

We fool ourselves by telling us every day that we are working for the betterment of soceity. Infact we are working to make ourselves well off. Every step that we take is for our own benefit. And when we achieve one goal we move on to the next goal.

All great thinkers and writers were lonely. I never was and never will be one of them.

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 00:30
Scarlett

You just worry me..seriously...you have so much to offer but refuse to share of yourself...you are way too young to have such a jaded view of life in general..much less people. We can learn something from anyone..even babies...or people with mental challenges...physical challenges..in fact, sometimes those are the ones that can teach us the most...IF you let yourself see and feel. Take the Muslim teaching to heart..I wish I knew more about it, but from the Muslims I know personally, the ones that follow are some of the nicest people ever...same with Christians who follow the teachings...

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...

words to live by

By knoxcollege• 19 Nov 2007 00:21
Rating: 2/5
knoxcollege

you do have a very clear vision that I have to admit.

You remind me of a philosophy student who was in his p.hd and he wanted me to convert and I wanted him to become a muslim.

We both failed. though in the process mamy people became our followers.

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 00:21
Scarlett

as easily...and an old farm truck...that's what you don't understand..to be honest again..you still don't know what my background was, knox...I grew up with hardly anything...and had to work for it...you are doing just what adco said his family does...keep talking about more and more...but stuff isn't what makes one happy..its how they feel about themselves inside..and what i see from your posts is a very unhappy unsatisfied young man...tell you what, I'll give up on you but only if you stop giving such bad advice to people about sabotaging people because you are mad at them...to stop helping others...and in general..just being flat out selfish.

By knoxcollege• 19 Nov 2007 00:14
knoxcollege

I will be satisfied with nothing that I have (grammar doesnt seem right)

and you will still not be content with your BMWS and mansions.

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 00:14
Scarlett

and helping others makes me happy..

You might as well give in...I'm going to hound you until you get more positive....hehehe..

By knoxcollege• 19 Nov 2007 00:12
knoxcollege

so your life is ruled by desires, wishes and earthly posession and you will always be a slave of your desires.

Good Luck I will enjoy my freedom

By knoxcollege• 19 Nov 2007 00:09
knoxcollege

we spend our entire lives chasing something that most of the time we never get.

So why not live freely

Why not get out of the MATRIX

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 00:07
Rating: 2/5
Scarlett

Ohh fiddledeedee.....

By Scarlett• 19 Nov 2007 00:07
Scarlett

no man is an island...

By knoxcollege• 19 Nov 2007 00:04
Rating: 4/5
knoxcollege

island with palm trees and animals. No worries, Catch fish and eat, Drink rain water

Thats why I didnt start a family and have no intentions.

Family = problems + worries =====> grey hair

No ambitions, live your life freely as the desire wont be able to dictate you.

Never make any earthly desire your ambition as your life would always be greared towards that desire. and you will never be able to get out of it.

By ADCO• 19 Nov 2007 00:01
ADCO

good night all ... & thanks

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:59
Scarlett

you need something like that tale of Scrooge where the ghost of Christmas past and Christmas future comes and shows you what happens when you keep doing what you are doing...wake up before its too late..

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:57
Rating: 4/5
Scarlett

in that case..so appease yourself...know you've done everything possible..still let mom know what you are going to do..and then do it...and don't look back..look forward..Tell mom that you know she loves you both but that by criticizing you, it makes you feel less of a son to her...that your brother needs to grow up and work for himself.

and yeah..she IS going to get mad at you..but hey, she's already not happy with you, right?

By knoxcollege• 18 Nov 2007 23:56
knoxcollege

like me

no wife, no nagging

no girl friend, no headaches

no children, no problems

no friends, no help seekers

no future planning as there aint any

Easy, simple and fast. Life on the highway. (Dont forget to get high on the way)

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:53
ADCO

I did, but mother only believe her sun & think he is the only angel in devil world & i am the king of the devils .. see how much i am lucky

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:50
Scarlett

like that?? tough love goes in all directions..you tell your direct family what is actually going on and then don't let it get to you like it is...as long as you have done all you can for your relatives..then just bear with it...it will get better..tell you one thing tho...the best way to get around it...tell your family back home what you are GOING to do for your relatives BEFORE you do it...that way when your relatives here tell a different story, you will have already done the truth.

By swissgirl39• 18 Nov 2007 23:49
swissgirl39

true.i dont think they like to share the room with rats and no tv or frigo?hmmm.if they see where you stand now they wont believe that.

they see only the moment,not the past.

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:49
ADCO

you are reading my live book now.. :)

By knoxcollege• 18 Nov 2007 23:48
Rating: 3/5
knoxcollege

Dude you have just opened a pandora box of your relatives coming to Qatar. Now everyone would want to come here and if you dont HELP them they will think that you didnt want to help them

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:47
ADCO

What i need to explain to you here in this page.. if I put one SMS came to me from one of them .. I will be band from this website...

By swissgirl39• 18 Nov 2007 23:47
swissgirl39

no needs to be confused.lol.was kidding.

of course i know everything is ok.

;-)

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:44
Rating: 2/5
ADCO

I think they can not feel it if they didn't face it, & i am sure if they had this experiance they will never say... "HELP them"

By novita77• 18 Nov 2007 23:43
novita77

"wow,you still alive.lol.well done" ....

---> Where do u think i am? *confused*

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:42
Rating: 5/5
Scarlett

and the best help he can offer his relatives now is enough love to make them take care of themselves. Support them, emotionally, help them scan the papers for jobs..but they have to make it on their own...back home its called tough love. You are there for them...but not an enabler...right now, if you keep giving them money, you are enabling them to become dependent upon you..thus crippling them. Be there to listen...but not to be a bank...and yes, it will be extremely difficult especially with your other family telling you you are wrong..but..in the long run they will eventually thank you when they grow up emotionally. Help comes in many different forms..financial, emotional, physical..etc...you've done the financial and physical...now its time for the emotional only...baby birds have got to learn to fly..you can't fly for them.

By swissgirl39• 18 Nov 2007 23:40
swissgirl39

wow,you still alive.lol.well done.

;-)

i know from my own experience how hard it can be.

i tried to give my best but in some eyes it was not good enough.

:-(

but thx god thats the past.

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:38
ADCO

I started here as employee in Dokhan, with 10 yrs experience I got 5500 Salary.... our camp was in Zakreet .. my partners in the bed the Rats.. many time I wake up morning & bloody scratch on my face... in the site .. the dust was my breathing ... I didn't complain ... I knew that always the future should be better... & Thank god.. I got it

Later, I helped my 2 relatives to come Qatar .... they didn't feel tired walk searching for a job... I provided to them .... their room contains a TV .. new bed ... fridge ... & totally clean ...

I was so bad with them .... they said to their family ... coz ... they were staying two in one room .. this one of many bad things they created about me ... so ... say to me again "don't stop help"

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:38
Rating: 2/5
Scarlett

I will not be alone when I am old, AND i will know with a firm knowledge that I NEVER took anything that wasn't mine either...and helped others along the way.

By novita77• 18 Nov 2007 23:38
novita77

so what would you suggest then ??? :D

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:37
Scarlett

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day

Teach a man to fish and he will sit in your boat and drink beer all day while fishing..

sorry, trying to lighten up the mood here..

By novita77• 18 Nov 2007 23:36
novita77

when family comes into equation ... it will never enough. Beem there, done that ... got the t-shirt. :D

By swissgirl39• 18 Nov 2007 23:32
swissgirl39

talking about help in general.but it is always harder to satisfy the family then a stranger.

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

By novita77• 18 Nov 2007 23:31
Rating: 2/5
novita77

You should put your foot down. Your relatives might think since you work and living in the middle east, you just printing money in your backyard. You can help them now and again ... but make sure they not depending on you for their living.

Your cases is not uncommon, some people think we living as an expat/s are bottomless money pit.

By knoxcollege• 18 Nov 2007 23:29
knoxcollege

"If everyone had the dont help mentality this world would be a very miserable place" Nice one

I believe if everyone didnt help their relatives, friends and acquaintances this world would be a VERY FAIR place

And Scarlett I might be alone but I would be content with myself that I didnt take anything that was not mine.

Who needs friends when you have loyal enemies

(Stay Safe and stay out of the way)

By Booo• 18 Nov 2007 23:28
Booo

ADCO...wow if you're own flesh and blood cant rely on you then a bunch of strangers can?? :S

By swissgirl39• 18 Nov 2007 23:28
Rating: 2/5
swissgirl39

:-D

it is sad but true.you can talk and talk and explain and explain but they only see the material part.but money dont lays on the streets,you must work hard for it and it is also a hard way to make friends in the new country.it is all a matter of time and sometimes it needs a long time.they cant come and live your life and get all you got.if they will work hard for it and they are willing to start with few it will work.

:-D

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:26
ADCO

Help any nationality.... but not yours especially your relative ... thats what I tried to explain

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:21
ADCO

So you feel my feeling dear...

By Cornellian• 18 Nov 2007 23:21
Rating: 5/5
Cornellian

That's the exact saying my professor was telling me today! :D

If everyone had the "don't help anyone" mentality then the world would be a very miserable place. Imagine where we would be if noone helped another, humans are an interdependent species, we can't thrive or progress on our own, we need eachother. That's the bottom line. So help whenever u can without expecting anything in return, and one day when u really need the help u'll find someone there for u.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

By swissgirl39• 18 Nov 2007 23:19
Rating: 4/5
swissgirl39

i understand exactly your point.here in swiss is the same.if someone take a family member or relative here or help him to come here then the new arrival sees only the money,house,car and other material stuff and he will have exactly the same or more the same day.makes a lot of problems.sad but true.they must realize that it is a lot of work behind it.

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:18
ADCO

I think now this saying should be:

Give man a fish and he will live for a day. Teach man to fish and he will hunt you.

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:14
Rating: 4/5
Scarlett

Ohh fiddledeedee.....

By jhujaejyt• 18 Nov 2007 23:14
Rating: 5/5
jhujaejyt

There is a Chinese saying... Give man a fish and he will live for a day. Teach man to fish and he will live a lifetime.

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:13
Scarlett

and it adds up...

Knox...I hate to see what you become when you get older...unless you change, it will at the very least, be a bitter old man with no friends...

By knoxcollege• 18 Nov 2007 23:13
Rating: 4/5
knoxcollege

is to help people as much as possible but never expect any returns.

I came in this world alone and I will die alone. What I leave behind will be those people whom I helped and who have forgotten me and left me in the wilderness.

(Sometimes I feel like living on an island alone........ some day I will buy one)

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:12
Rating: 2/5
ADCO

Yes, you are saying beautiful worlds, but as my experience about this, I need to stop my business & save all my time to teach them ...

Dear, I think your new people when they come here, they are thinking we are the old livers in Qatar.. just collecting the money from the sky ... & they are only looking at you car .. your house .. & saying ... why we have no same.... mmmmmmmmm .... he put us in the bad company & bad job... to not be like him... they never think about their ability to get what they want to get...

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:11
Scarlett

to listen to someone and be a shoulder to lean on if they need it??? nothing but a little bit of your time...and who knows..the life you save might end up being your own...in the long run...

You know...one thing I've learned in my 50 years on this earth is that you never know who you have touched and in what way when you are kind to them. I had a girl that I barely knew from high school tell me I was the reason she kept on going on with her education...because I cared enough to talk to her and help her understand biology class..She became a teacher...and 30 years later she told me the impact that kindness made.

By knoxcollege• 18 Nov 2007 23:08
knoxcollege

it is greed, thirst and ambition that is destroying this world.

Greed, ambition and desires come before hate.

If we dont have them we will not have hate.

By smoke• 18 Nov 2007 23:07
Rating: 5/5
smoke

yeah this world is a cut throat place, help those who are really really really like dying need of help. dont go out and help the lazy people who cant work hard themselves and expect some good soul like u to come along and help them. and always remember what goes around comes around...sooner or later.

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:05
Scarlett

alone, so why not make the most of being here while you ARE here..make friends, help others, because you never know...the person you help might be the one who offers you a helping hand when you need it the most...

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:04
Scarlett

get a more positive viewpoint, please...your mindset will make the world hate each other for eternity...

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 23:03
ADCO

Yes, but so late

By Scarlett• 18 Nov 2007 23:03
Rating: 5/5
Scarlett

sometimes people can't see past their own troubles, and when they see you doing well..think you don't HAVE any troubles or know how to fix theirs...so they lay their sorrows and woes upon you...Try to listen to them, but also at the same time gently lead them as to how to solve their own problems by themselves...Some don't know how to depend upon themselves to save their own selves from whatever it is that is keeping them down. So...they come to you...because they are impressed or perhaps very envious of your accomplishments and want to be like you. Consider it first a compliment, then teach them how to help themselves...

By knoxcollege• 18 Nov 2007 23:02
knoxcollege

you just found the reality of this materialistic world. Congrats and dont help anyone and never seek help

(You come alone in this world and you leave this world alone)

By ADCO• 18 Nov 2007 22:56
ADCO

you misunderstand me..

I didn't want getting return ... I just wanted appreciating by stop making troubles & bring problems to me....

is it difficult?

By Imz• 18 Nov 2007 22:47
Rating: 4/5
Imz

You will be happy only when you help somebody and stop thinking about the return you get.. you might do the something gud to some1 and when your in the same place... you just cant see the same happening it to you.. so cheer up... n also grow up... n stop thinking about it... n keep doin the same... certainly there is some1 looking up you will certainly be rewarded 10 times of it.. but.. only when you stop expecting returns... so I hope you know what to do next...

Log in or register to post comments

More from Qatar Living

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Let's dive into the best beaches in Qatar, where you can have a blast with water activities, sports and all around fun times.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

This guide brings you the top apps that will simplify the use of government services in Qatar.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

this guide presents the top must-have Qatar-based apps to help you navigate, dine, explore, access government services, and more in the country.
Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Qatar's winter months are brimming with unmissable experiences, from the AFC Asian Cup 2023 to the World Aquatics Championships Doha 2024 and a variety of outdoor adventures and cultural delights.
7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

Stuck with a week-long holiday and bored kids? We've got a one week activity plan for fun, learning, and lasting memories.
Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a sweet escape into the world of budget-friendly Mango Sticky Rice that's sure to satisfy both your cravings and your budget!
Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in  high-end elegance

Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in high-end elegance

Delve into a world of culinary luxury as we explore the upmarket hotels and fine dining restaurants serving exquisite Mango Sticky Rice.
Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Celebrate World Vegan Day with our list of vegan food outlets offering an array of delectable options, spanning from colorful salads to savory shawarma and indulgent desserts.