Do all parents love their children ?

How can people love their children when they don't even love themselves?

Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi

Huh? What? There were porn pics on this thread ? :S 

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

I'm going to try to sleep again now.  Let hope it's all cleared up by the morning!

the fact that IAMBACK (whoever it is) is flooding QL with stuff which  ... oh you know what I mean.

but HERE?

come on ...  ,,,

Sorry!  I wonder who he is!  He calls himself Iamback so he obviously got banned sometime back.  My money is on Darkside!

get new specs lol

I wonder who it is!

umm this pic need to be deleted

tra la la

bit inappropriate .... pretty pic, but surely not the right website?

Whoa, back up there girl!   There are many poor people in Vietnam, yes, but as a percentage, I'd like to think there are more people there that love and show love to their children that many developed countries! 

(I hope so anyway!)

Sorry me is showing the books some looooooooooove tonight haha

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

The question was directed to Qlers........am I not a Qler now???? LOL

Lets go bowling this evening Cornellian  and show some love tothe Pins...

lol

I know u didn't mention these countries. And I understand ur point about u love ur children as much as ur parents loved u. However, my point was that QLers do not represent the entire world.  

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

I am not talking about Vietnam or Cambodia...Indonesia or India, nor did I mentioned any of the country in my other post at all.

What I say is general for people fromallwalksof live. My late Mum asked me one day.......just a year or two before she passed on....."Do you love your children???" and I answered her..."Yes with all my life"

And to that she answered me back......."That is just how much I love you." At that moment I realized that i have always been loved even at times when I feel that i have not been loved.

incestual love.....how disgusting is that....how could they...ewwwwww

Nope chief, u can't answer with that question cause all the QLers are not living poorly like those in Vietnam, nor do they force their children into prostitution like some in Camobodia nor are they drug addict junkies who sell their kids for money. So it's not a fair statistics.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

I will answer with a question.......

To all you Qlers that have children.......do you love your children?????

I am sure that you all do. As much as you all love your children, that is just how much your parents loved you.

baj, that's a very disturbing kind of love, and I doubt it's even love to begin with. Yuck!

Speed, sadly I've heard alot of stories as well about children abandoning their elder parents. It's heart-breaking. But then again I think to myself...what goes around comes around, and the way u treat ur parents is most likely the way ur children will treat u.  

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

It is natural... if you are talking about Parents using their children as mean of income I don't agree with you ... in general NO PARENTS would like to see their childern as a source of money ! Only the time when they are old then they depend on their children ofcourse, same way the children were depending on them !!

I think it is a duty or say responsibility of every child's to take care of their parents when they become old by all mean ...

Very rare situation you might see some examples of parents not loving or caring for their children or putting them into some some so that they can earn money for them ... that could be due to some family problems or due to some social issues !! but again the relationship or love remains in their hearts ....  

Corn... I think you should have started a topic of children who desert their parents when they become old an are living on the streets or under the care of govt. or in charity houses !! These cases you will find in MILLIONS but parents not loving their kids or using them as source of income are very few ! 

[img_assist|nid=53652|title=|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

oryx..regarding women prostitute with AIDS...they also give birth to babies with AIDS...the situation is getting worse... in africa so many children are HIV infected...

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.  ~Charles Schulz

that they would do something like this? http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/incest-couple-had-another-child/2008/04/07/1207420263586.html

I have been handed children in Africa because parents cant' feed them / educate them... it is heartbreaking...

be totally humbled by the fact your child won't die because you can afford $1  medicine but another man has to watch his child die.

and women who risk getting Aids everyday working as prostitutes to be able to feed their children.

 they literally die for their children

 Due to lack of education and poverty parents will go to any length to give their children a better life, especially mothers, whether that means selling them, or selling herself.

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thexonic, picture this senario: a very poor family in Camabodia was told by an "agent" that they will be given money if they give their child to the agent and the agent will re-locate the child to a foster family in the United States and told them how the child will have such a luxurious life and good education. So the parents agree to sell their child to the that family in the States. Are they stupid? Now ofcourse this agent may very well be lying and end up force the child into prostitution or labour work; however, the parents didn't know that, due to their poverty and lack of education. So try to look outside the box, not everyone is blessed with the life we have.

Formatted Soul, why do they have children if they can't afford it ? As lovinni said, lack of proper sex education and poverty. First they're not given lessons about safe sex and second they think that if they have more children then maybe those children can work and bring more money OR they know that because of the poverty the chances of the child's survival is less so if they have more kids, atleast some of them will live...basic survival instincts. 

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

poverty triggers this. people can find anything just to earn a living. this is just one of the several effects. 

lack of education is also a reason...again its a chain reaction...lack of education leads to poverty and so forth. these things usually happens to 3rd world countries. 

young children forced by parents to work to feed other siblings...in my country you will be astonished to see different societal issues, as many children are abused...also due to drug dependents parents. being raped by their own fathers at a very young age.  

so corne, i can say not all parents love their children.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.  ~Charles Schulz

 Some parents  don’t love their children because the children are born by mistake/without planning, maybe it was too late for them to get rid of it. A father or a mother who longed for a baby would never hate their child and they would enjoy each and every moment with the child.  Others consider children as big burden.

A father who forces her daughter to get married to a old man, is very selfish. He just think only of his happiness he don’t care if his daughter will be happy with the old man. Having money doesn’t make a person happy. 

Just read about a mother in Italy who sold 12 children each for $250/- and she is saying that she loved all her children but she was too poor to raise them. Why the hell did she produce more kids in the first place... if she cannot afford to raise them?

Corni if parents thought selling kids was a good idea, then they must be very stupid (no offence) but this is just ridiculous.

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No human can stop racism.

corne, some parents do that when they conceive the child accidentally (is it accident) or shall i say not part of the plan...yes just to provide a better life for the kid. but some parents or women conceive for the purpose of selling the baby after childbirth... 

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.  ~Charles Schulz

Maybe those parents think that by selling their children, the kids will be provided with a better life ? Perhaps that's their way to showing love ? 

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

in my country there some cases wherein parents sell their children as means for a living?  and definitely love doesnt exist in this situation...

i guess this is the effect of too much poverty or they simply lack values. are they still humans?

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.  ~Charles Schulz

It's saddening to hear that there are parents who just grow their kids because they don't have a choice, but for me, my children are my reason to live, they give me life, they give me hope and they give me headache too, but i just can't go on if they will be far from me.I will die for them.. 

"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches  you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."

  Not all parent love their childrean for various reasons.

I know one person whose mother always told her growing up that having kids was the worst decision she had made and having children ruined her life... 

tra la la

baedaebok, "They say it but do they spend enough time playing with them.  Is the

parents' heart sincere and open to their children?  This is the key."

---> I disagree. If a parent doesn't play with his child as much then it definitely doesn't mean there's no love. Many parents work 24/7 to provide the best life for their children because they love them!

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

Cornellian you are right about the fact. Nowadays parents use their children as a source of money especially their daughters..

Miss. Sheikh

there is the nature-nurture debate ..or is it nurture-nature or....anyway something like that....

the usual answer to this should be "but of course they are my children".. but sadly hearing from our new generations (who became parents).. you will hear from some of them, "i got no choice.. it was a mistake that i bear a child, i was force to bear a child (readiness was no there)"...therefore this statements result to producing kids being introvert, or having psychological problems.. sad but true.. 

[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Gypsy supports prostitution, hmmm why I am not surprised? I knew Canadians were doing bad but this is just ridiculous.

Obviously not all parents love their children that is why there are a lot of cases of child abuse, abandoned children and so on, in some cases you will find adoptive parents who love the children they adopt more than the biological parents of those kids. Anyone who can claim a person who chooses a dangerous career such as prostitution can do so justifiably for the love of their child, is a freaking idiot. People in poorest parts of the world do not always resort to that and raise their kids properly with morals, and teach them hard wrok and how to establish themselves as morally responsible people. Doing illegal activities put yourself and your kids at risk, and you are automatically a failure as a parent for continuing to live such a dangerous lifestyle when you have more important responsibilities, such as raising kids.

A certain someone I know who probably does not love his child is a guy who previously ruled Qatar, just saying.

Hmmmm, I don't have children so this is not first-hand, but I do have two close male friends who say they felt little for their child until it was older.  The children of these two men are 3ish or so now, and I'd have to say that they are both very involved, loving fathers but they each said the same thing.  For the first year or so they felt that there was no need for them in the child's life-they wanted to participate but felt shut-out by their wives, and saw the child only as something to be maintained at first.

Don't know how common this is, but wouldn't be surprised if it were not uncommon for father to take longer to develop feelings for the child.  Any  opinions on  this?

I know its weird, I actually asked to go cos all my friends had gone and my parents lived in Hong Kong, so I went.....it wasn't all bad, I was drinking at 12 and remember benson and hedges when they were 69p for 10!!

i think having a child is the greatest challenge in this world. each child is unique, a parent must possess all the patience to bring forth a responsible and independent human being. question is how many parents are committed to this? if they cant handle it does that mean they dont love the kids?

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.  ~Charles Schulz

Be grateful you didn't!I was a boarding school from 7 till 16 years old! Weird upbringing!!

Or boarding school!Thats bad enough!

National service I say to all the delinquents!

Parents should always try to fix their child. There are alot of ways, if one doesnt work then the other. They cannot throw their children out of the house if they dont listen or if they get spoilt.

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No human can stop racism.

Alexa, yep, have a 2 year old full of minxness, just got her to finally go to bed!!

You can't teach experience...

i love my daughter tonite cos she's gone to bed without a fight......

I will die for my son! i thought my mom doesn't love me when i was young, coz she was always on my tail, but now i have my own child, now i fully understand what she was trying to do.... wish i knew that before.....

But, wmhizon, all parents don't love their children.  They say it but do they spend enough time playing with them.  Is the parents' heart sincere and open to their children?  This is the key.

Corne, maybe I've been brainwashed by dw who constantly reminds me that we, parents, need to be self-less.  But too many parent books nowadays seem to emphasize the parents comfort more than the child's comfort.  For example, they will ask "Is your child sleeping through the night?".  They imply that the benefit of this is so you will be able to sleep soundly.  It is good that parents can sleep soundly but it is more important that the child is developing properly and is acquiring good sleep habits.

i still want to think that all parents love their children!

"Even if  LOVE is full of thorns, embrace it. For in between those thorns there is a ROSE that's worth all the PAIN."

Now that's a much harder question!

One I can't answer because it entire depends on the individuals involved and their unique circumstances!

Sorry! 

Hmmm here's another interesting question, when do parents draw the line ?

I mean if their child is a hopeless case, for example, should they keep trying no matter what to help and fix their child or is there a point where they give up and realise that they are humans as well and can't stop living just because their child turned out badly ? 

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

yes

You can't teach experience...

lol

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No human can stop racism.

 NO way Corne, you know it's penis size...the smaller it is the bigger the braggert.

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But...but...I thought respect was based on size of ears not physical condition!!  

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

Actually for some parents Children r God's Blessings

& 

For some it's Defective Condom Syndrom.

 That's' right Corne, because you aren't in peak physical condition, therefore no one can respect you!

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Whaaaaaaat ?! So does that mean my parents don't love me ??

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

mmm I question it when my daughter throws a massive tantrum in the road.......

LOL.   You and your friend Darkside crack me up!  

 You just say that QT cause you're a fat slob with a pouch round your waist.  Lay off the Pho and you might be able to understand how a fitness guru like myself thinks.

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LOL.   I see you encountered the dark side!   LOL  

I've decided to come up with a new answer to everything.  Parents don't always love their children because their children aren't in great physical condition.  If these children were cut like me, their parents would love them.

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the key is to balance everything, their desier, their will and what kid wants. Parents need to give them attention and sometimes not so much either, sometimes they should express that they love the kids, sometimes they shouldnt... like for me i had a tuff time, cuz we wernt exactly rich perhaps my dad used to earn enough to cover our food and school. But when  I was born until i turned 3, i had all the toys in the world which my grand father bought me and I became a spoilt brat, so i used to cry alot when my parents couldnt get me something and as the time passed by, I understood and I was only 8 years old. I used to tell my mom that when I grow up i'll buy this toy, she'd hug me and cry. Seen both good times and bad times. It just made me stronger.

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No human can stop racism.

Thats true, but in todays world alot of parents and daughters demand guys to have big bank accounts and mansions in order to get married to them, there are alot of parents that ask for such things. Alot of girls aswell. I think thats just the effect of kids being spoilt.

Honestly I can never marry a girl who's parents would force her to marry me. To me what matters is the girl's will.

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No human can stop racism.

Yep, what we think is in other people's interest is not really in their best interest. It's all relative.  

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

 I think you would really have to know the father.  Based on cultural issues and such, he could very well think he's doing the most loving thing for his daughter.

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baedaebok, I agree and disagree with u.

Yes parents should love their children and have their best interests at heart, etc; however, a parent is still a human being with needs and desires and I wouldn't expect any parent to be completely self-less and sacrifice everything just for the child's sake. It's just not fair.

As for love at infancy, not all mothers love their children right from birth. Some women go through postpartum depression and start having all those awful thoughts about killing their infants. With therapy and help from everyone around, those women can turn out to be the most loving mothers.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

I guess u all got ur answers there.

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No human can stop racism.

Cornellian, clearly the father doesn't show true love to his dd.  What he's doing is selfish.  It's putting money before the heart.  This is selfish...not self-less. 

Parents need to be self-less.  Their child needs to be put first in their minds.  That doesn't mean letting the child do whatever it wants b/c it needs guidance.  But it means putting all your love into the child.  I'm talking true love...not only saying "I love you" but living it out with your child everyday.  I'm a working dad so I only see dd before 7am and after 4pm so I don't really know how dw shows love to dd throughout the day.  But dd seems to be full of love.  In dd's case, something is working.

That is why if both parents are not absolutely ready for kids, don't have them!  My sister had a very rough time with her dd.  She said later on that, if she could have gotten away with it (i.e., if dh didn't find out), she would have killed dd when she was an infant.  I think she wasn't ready to have kids.  This is not a good beginnning to show love.  Love is a foundation that starts at infancy.

This is why I won't take a high-paying job in Saudi Arabia that means dd and dw would have to return to Korea.  I don't want to miss dd growing up.  I don't want to miss the chance to continue building that foundation of love!

 LOL, agree completely QT.  I've met some mother's who care more for their garden furniture then for their children.

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Hmmm I don't look at loving a parent as a responsibility. I mean I love my parents cause I want to not cause I have to. If the parents were good to their children, then it's only natural for the child to love them back (ofcourse there are expections)

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

It's the age old battle of doing what you think is right!  Unfortunately, many do not possess the mental capability to decide what is right or wrong for themselves, never mind their children and so are cruel without fully understanding that they are doing so.

Also, everyone's idea and comprehension of "Love" is different!  Some believe that because you give birth to someone, they are yours to own and as a possession, they are loved.  This is not love as I understand it!

You can be "attached" to garden furniture but not love it!   Too many people cannot distinguish the difference!

IMHO

No worries PM, I would be getting worried if there was no hijack! lol

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

It is a child's responsibility to love their parents, if they are real parents, if they took care of them. A parent who does the right thing in raising their child.

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No human can stop racism.

not she allowed it, she didnt stop it or she didnt go against it. We'll talk about it later, lets not hijack this thread.

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No human can stop racism.

 Depends on the situation Corne, and the father.

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So Masters, are u saying a child MUST love his parents even if they don't love him/her? Why would they ? 

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

 It is not the responsibility for the child to love their parent. In cases of child abuse that's a huge problem, these poor kids thinking they have to love these monsters.

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Why? u dont have any answer to it? is that why? 

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No human can stop racism.

Hey QT, what do u mean by "thinking you love someone, is unfortunately not the same as actually loving them" ? Can u please elaborate ?

Well Gypsy, one can say that it's cause of love. But then again can't it be that he's selfish and only thinking about his best interest rather than his daughter's ?  

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

Most of the parents love their children but above all its the responsability of child to love his/her parents even if they dont love.

for friendship >  Q A T A R E X . C O M

thats selfishness, I disagree and so does islam with fathers who force their daughters into marriages. According to islam a girl can marry by her choice, if her father disagrees then she can look up to her grand father. On the other hand if her father wants the girl to get married to a guy, she can say no and the marriage wont happen. No one can force anyone on anything.

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No human can stop racism.

Please Thexonic, let's keep God out of this thread!

btw, the question was a rhetorical one!

its jordanian govt. that i'm gonan get u not the Queen.

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No human can stop racism.

QT I have answer to that too... I have answer for why people are blind by or deaf by birth or why people are not normal aswell... that doesnt mean god is punishing them, that means they are special and god wants us to learn how greatful we should be for what we have. It's to teach us the lesson that we are suppose to know. Rest of the kids that suffer, is because of the parents that throw away their kids or the other reason is humans... still prostitution is never an answer. God has forbidden it, god has forbidden bombs that kill or paralyze innocent kids... so if u want to go there I will bring god in it. 

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No human can stop racism.

 Corne, in that case I would say the Father probably does love his daughter, in the end he wants what's best for her, just thinks that what's best for her is different from what she wants.

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I agree with QT, please don't drag God or religion into the thread.  

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

 Thexonic, God never enters into these situations.  He's strangely absent, or simply doesn't give a flying f*** about people.  Either way, some people have to do what they have to do and God can go hang.

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I'm sorry, but that's the daftest thing you've said all day!

Why does God "allow" innocent children to suffer!

Please do not bring God into this thread!

Well how about the case in which a father forces his daughter to marry a rich, old man against her will because they're a poor family and he believes that this rich man will provide his daughter and the entire family a better life ? Is that love or selfishness ? 

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

Gypsy, if that was the case then god would have allowed prostitution and it would have been a blessing not a sin.

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No human can stop racism.

You missed my point completely.   Never mind!

 Prostitution can pay more then most other jobs they might be able to get, therefore allowing them to raise their child better.  You can't judge a person based on what they have to do for a living.

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 Thexonic, that's nice, but biologically the person is the childs mother or father, and no they don't all love their child.

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I disagree, a person is usually judged by his company and if u say that she cannot find any other job other than prostitution than thats a whole load of crap... No kid would want to be called a son of a wh*re when they grow up. 

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No human can stop racism.

Sadly not everyone loves their children, for a variety of reasons, and its very sad for those children who come into a very challenging world and end up in foster care or childrens homes..Its also sad for some people who make excellent parents and cannot concieve children...

I cant imagine what my life would be like without my children, i would just die if anything happened to them...

I agreed too!

Gypsy, im not talking about physical stuff, I'm refering to internal, the worst name i could find was a prostitute. Plus those good prostitutes could find a job to raise her child... i dont wanna go that far and start another argument. The point is, the women who gives brith to a child and doesnt take care of her is not a mother and same goes for the father, they do not have the right to be called parents, even if they gave birth to them, their hearts are sick and those people were definetly stupid. 

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No human can stop racism.

I have to agree with Gypsy!   You cannot judge how much a mother loves her children by the role in society that she plays!

What does a prostitute have to do with it ?  

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

 You're right, some prostitutes make excellent mothers, and some apron wearing housewives are abusive wastes of space.

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Gypsy, there's a difference between a mother and a prostitute.  

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No human can stop racism.

 thexonic, that thought, that a mother must love their child, is the reason so many children are continuly sent back to their unfit, waste of space mothers.

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I DONT KNOW?BUT MY parents LOVE MEEEEE   if u ALSO want to unlock uriphone  call 5125244 

 Not just people, there's overwhelming cases of animals abandoning and abusing their children as well.  

Here's a post from one of my favorite blogs, which kind of sums up what I witnessed in my 20 + years as a foster sister. 

http://www.violentacres.com/archives/69/the-most-merciful-death-is-baby-death

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No. Some perents think that children are burden to them.

A mother always loves her child, no matter how much she'd say that she hates them. Those who dont, just take a pill or have an abortion... or kill them. Others know the value and the hard work they put in to create a life. Mothers r the best creation of god.

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No human can stop racism.

For whatever reason, some people are missing those instintcs....and that is something VERY hard for me as a parent to understand....though the evidence is incontrovertible

Stay safe all. 

Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?

The answer is a big NO.... ..

There are mothers / fathers who do not love their children....

I think most parents think they love their children, there are exceptions!

However, thinking you love someone, is unfortunately not the same as actually loving them!

 No all parents do not love their children. 

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