Chocoholic went to the Doctor ..

Chocoholic has had a special car made out of cake. It drives just like a normal car. Minor issues are that the brakes are a bit spongy; The Jam is always on the radio and the stupid windscreen keepw icing up.

Eagley's car breaks down on the highway. She manages to ease the car over to the shoulder, then she carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward Eagley yelling, "What the hell is going on here?"

"My car broke down," says Eagley, calmly.

"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?" screams the cop.

"These are my emergency flashers!" Eagley replied!

ROFLMAO! Cool, you guyz n galz r on a roll 'ere! :0)

Dear Mr. Dracula..

It is obvious that she is smitten by the British handsome guy and does not have any feelings towards you. You should either accept this and move on with your life or hypnotise her with the Dracula stare, bite her neck and make her your love slave..

Punch her one more time.

Hello, I have started to meet a girl at the Ramada parking area I really like and I am very interested (she was also).

Last night she invite me in a party in the parking lot no.215.

There were many people and a lot of alcohol. Unfortunately I drink too much, this wasn't a problem until a British guy starts to fight with me (I will not explain all the details it will be too long).

This guy was all around me and kicks me, I managed to hit him back but I was too drunk and they were too many, I was pretty messed up. Just after the battle my friend run very fast behind me to see if I was OK, but the problem is that she ran so fast that I didn't had time to see it was her and I believed it was again the bloody British guy who would hit me again, so I hit her in the face very hard, she fell unconscious on the floor.

I recognized her after and I was really sad, I took her to the Hamad Hospital with the ambulance, she has a broken nose now.

Since yesterday she don't talk to me anymore, I try to apologize, send her flowers and gifts, but she constantly rejects me, I told her I like her very much and regret that I punched her.

I'd really like to reconnect with her, have you any ideas how to regain her confidence?

I had a big argument with Dracula last night at the Ramada. He punched me really hard and I fell unconscious to the floor.

I was completely out for the Count. :o(

Mrs. Chocoholic is sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton...:P

Dracula came down with the flu and was forced to stay home for a few days. He was glad for the interlude because it taught him how much Mrs. Dracula really loved him.

She was so thrilled to have him around that whenever a delivery man or the mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled, "My husband's home! My husband's home!"

"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked, after folding the items Mrs. Britexpat wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" the cashier asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to

do the splits?".

He said "How flexible are you?".

She said "I can't make Sunday and Tuesdays".

Brit went to the doctor who asked: " Any coughing, wheezing or shortness of cash?"

LOL !!

Chocoholic IS !

That is all we know.......

Rizks went to see a highly recommend psychiatrist. The doctor showed Rizks an inkblot and asked, "What does this remind you of?"

Rizks replied, "A naked woman."

Then the shrink showed him another inkblot and asked the same question. Rizks responded, "A naked woman on a bed."

This went on and on, inkblot after inkblot. The psychiatrist finally said, "You are a sick pervert."

Rizks replied, "I'm not the pervert here. You're the one who keeps showing me all of those naughty pictures."

Timebandit's girlfriend was running a temperature so he rang the doctor.

The Doctor said "Is she hot" ?

Timebandit said, "Well, with a little make-up..."

A traveler was passing through britexpat's small home town when he came upon a huge funeral procession.

"Who died?" he asked britexpat.

"I'm not sure," replied brit, " but I think it's the one in the coffin."

brit, you just saved yourself.

As the officially unofficial tender of QL Stupid Jokes threads, you have been slacking of late.

I had been thinking of orchestrating a coup but now it seems that won't be necessary. Be careful, though.

Who's Chocoholic ?

**IPL stare**

What about the tornado tower if the arms are broken

Chocoholic to Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens'.

Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens?

Chocoholic: 'Tried but nothing”

Tech Support: “What key did you hit?

After a moment and some chick ling sound Chocoholic replied:

Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key.

nice one