A Child's Tale

Daisy lost her father when she was 5. She barely remembered him. She was left alone with her mother to be taken care of. Her father was an engineer and hence her mother never thought of taking up a career, but now after his death she had to think of ways to feed a little girl and herself. She opened a playschool with girls and boys as little as her own daughter to be looked upon. The initial years were difficult but soon life was steady. Her mother missed her father terribly and she became bitter overtime. She earned decent enough to provide a good education to her only daughter. Though she loved her a lot, she could never pay the attention towards her daughter that she ought to.

The world felt sorry for her mother since she lost her husband at a very early age. People would talk to her, offer condolances. But no body thought of how the little girl felt. How her fragile heart too felt the pain. Mother was immersed in her own world trying to make money, what Daisy felt only she knew, and though she never expressed herself to anybody there was a vacuum in her life as well.

While growing up, her mother tried her best to give Daisy all the comforts that normal kids her age would have. And successful she was, in providing her all things money could buy. But the most important thing that a child craves for, was missing. And that thing was love and care. Daisy was ignored and left alone all along. She go for tuitions in the morning, school in the afternoon, play in the evening and to bed alone at night. She loved listening to stories but whenever she asked for one, she would be turned away saying that day was too busy and that Daisy must go back t bed. This hurt little Daisy a lot. This happened almost everyday and she was not able to fall asleep. She desperately craved for love for someone to hold her while she slept but there was no one. Her mother was busy in her own life that she never paid attention to Daisy's emotional needs.

Life in school was good. Daisy was a bright kid and excelled in studies. She enjoyed her friends company. She liked talking to them and she liked listening to them. It was going back home that made her sad. Though there would be other kids from the playschool, she always felt ignored by her own mother around them. She was always humiliated around the other kids by her own mother and that battered her confidence to no end. She slowly started disliking her own mother. Even at a young age she knew her mothers efforts but she could not avoid the hurt.

The abuse started soon after as Daisy grew older. Emotional abuse had always been there. And now verbal and physical abuse had found its way. With Daisy not able to always score the highest marks, her mother thought maybe the whip would help. And with every whip Daisy became more frightened than ever; scarring her for a lifetime. The marks did improve initially but as Daisy became stronger and braver her mother chose different methods from canes to rulers to whatever came in her hand. Daisy cried out in pain for help, but there would be nobody. She spoke to no one about this. She didn’t know whom to talk to.

As Daisy reached teenage she became more distant from her mother than ever. She would not look at her in the eye. She felt she was an enemy. The scars had not yet left her. The lived the trauma each and every day. Life at school was fun. She felt normal. A normal fun loving teenager, but at home the story would be completely different. It was as if she lived in two different universes. It was her secret life in hell which she could not tell to anyone about. Friends had always been there, but she knew they wouldn’t understand. They did not have the same experiences as hers.

The physical abuse hurt her heart more than her body; the marks on her body were visible but not the marks on her heart. The verbal abuse made her feel it was best if she was deaf. She screamed in retaliation, she cried her guts out but nothing would ever help. It all felt like a punishment and she didn’t know what she was being punished for. Nights were mostly nightmares. Traumatising and scary. Being the only child had only disadvantages, she decided. With no one to share her feeling with, no one to talk to she felt it ought better to have a sibling who would care. I guess loneliness was the one and only company she always had.

Daisy first tried to kill herself when she was 13. She gulped down 30 tablets of crocin at one go. But as luck would have it, nothing happened. Just black vomits throughout the night and a deadly headache. She tried jumping off her building, but was too scared once she reached the top. She thought of running away forever never to return back. But where would she go. She was in school and certainly had no money. Life was difficult. Her school was her only escape and her friends only time to be normal with. Soon came the boards and she passed with flying colours. Her mother took it upon herself Daisy’s success and hard work. Daisy hated her even more.