A chemical analysis of women
Element: woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Weight: accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 180 lbs.
Occurence: surplus quantities in all urban areas.
Physical Properties:
1) suface usually covered in painted film
2) boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3) melts if given proper treatment
4) bitter if used incorrectly
5) found in various states, ranging from virgin metal, to common 'ore
Chemical Properties:
1) possess great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious
stones
2) able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances
3) may explode spontaneously if left alone with a male
4) insoluable in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation
in alcohol
5) yields to pressure applied to correct points
Uses:
1) highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2) most powerful money-reducing agent known
3) can be a great aid to relaxation
Tests:
1) pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state
2) turns green if placed beside a better specimen
Caution:
1) highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2) illegal to posses more than one except in certain areas
(Utah, etc.)
LOL. This reminded me of all the chemical analysis we did in lab, which made all the more funny!
this article with a pic of hot chick in bikini wow what a chick she was full of toxic chemicals.
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Along time ago there was this little Italian boy in the fields with his dad. Looking at his dad's hands, the boy say's "papa, you do many many things with your hands, tell me about your fingers."
"Well Tony," Papa said, "You see this first finger? You usea thisa one to pointata what evea you wanta. You see youa thumb? You usea thisa for turna pages in a book, and your ringa finger, you will use whena you get a married, and your little finga, you use to picka you nose. And the middle finga, well, I'lla tella you about thata one when you getta married."
Well, Tony was satisfied with that and time past. It was now Tony's wedding day. It was a beautiful wedding, just before the bride and groom left, Tony went to have a talk with Papa. Tony said "Papa, many a year I use this finger to point at what I want, and I turna many a pages with my thumb, I've picked my nose with this little one, now I have a beautiful ring on my finger from the lo ve of my life, but Papa, what is it I do with this middle finger?"
Papa drew close to Tony and said "Tony tonight you will make mad hot love to your woman many times and you may become tired, when that happens and your woman turns to you again wanting to makea the love againa, that's when you takea your middle finga and you poka on her head and say, 'Go back to sleep you silly woman.
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
and if proposed to be traded or bartered for a better one,
they just explode!!!
do it right - the first time!
men are such simple creatures