being Bullied over appearance

Sorry if my post offends anyone. Hopefully This post is sending clear message bullying happens to adults also

Salam

'(. Good bye QL

What is that?

Why are you trolling segmund???

This is a bullying forum post. So it is suppose to be only for posting relevant posts on that topic.

Anyway, GOOD BYE QL.

Segmund you got your wish....QL is all yours now.

We can see from following threads that there are many sexists and racists on QL.They sometimes pretend otherwise, but it does show up.

Surely, it is better to openly discuss these issues and understand why one feels this way. Rather than pretend all is hunky-dori.

I do however dislike personal abuse of posters. This is too common and needs to be curtailed.

Seems someone violated every word of the following 3 CG's but dont see the said members account blocked as it is suppsoed to be logically. Guess whoever is sitting behind my computer screen and is responsible for applying the rules needs to understand the rules of the game (CG) itself and implement them in all fairness else a BIG DUH to them:

- Do not use abuses, swearing or strong language in your posts.

- Don’t post anything that could be perceived as illegal or offensive (i.e. racist, pornographic, sexist, obscene, profane, vulgar, derogatory, hateful or threatening). Such posts will be deleted and member's account will be blocked. The same also applies to member's personal signatures.

- Stay on topic and do not hijack threads or post off-topic comments. Start a new forum topic or send a private message if you are in doubt.

Brexpat, what are you talking about? Sexism and racism lead to good debates? What kind of argument can a person make based on sexism or racism?

'Good debates', that's the cue word :)

I dislike people calling each other names. Sadly, many "seasoned" QLers do it, but get away with it because they are popular or adaept with words.

As far as racism and sexism is concerned, this is part and parcel of life. It shows the true character of a person and can sometimes lead to good debates.

I agree Ryan. And this is the answer to 'How can we peacefully co-exist'. We can't. Each to his own, but I wish all arguments were done in amiable ways.

I am with you, aiwa. The intolerance and just plain ignorance on this site is shocking. The mods aren't any better. Wish there were a site where mods would weed out things like racism, sexism and members who want to call others names.

My feeling is .. people are just mixing positive criticism with bullying & so [ for a reason ].

I am open to constructive comments .. where ever I am .. at work .. on the street .. in a wedding party .. etc ..

MM, sorry, no deep message :) Just the expression of baby Tarzan as he says 'Huh?'.

I am befuddled, flabbergasted and confused at QL posts :D

What is message , Please ?

&feature=related

0:07 to 0:09 is what I am right now. Huh?? :O

Yeah, exactly what has a face veil, aka, hijab on earth to do with this post? I really have no idea Mrs. Tusing why I said that. It was one of those Freudian slips probably.

Yeah, if I have comments on bullying then it is ok. But should I not post them in bullying forum?

I have said it before and I say it again, if there is a fact, no power on earth can stop me from describing it.

And who attacked you btw, I hardly remember even talking to you last. The last time I remember I said your display picture was nice and you changed it. I really do not remember what happened later. I really do not think I ever attacked you at any point in time.

MM: Thank you man. You are sweet.

As my post stated, it is a bullying thread. no one has the right to give anyone advice unless it is asked for. Also the post was about bullying not shoving medical views on others. Take care of yourself.

If they came to your "clinic" then you have legal obligation to advise them.

The people with weight issues, over or under weight are aware of it, as the lady in the video points out, no one needs to tell them hey your over/ under weight!!

I think they are aware of their Heath issues, so I am just saying, take your advice that was not asked for and.....

If you have comments on bullying, then ok, post away, but don't name call others or attack me, or others here in this thread.

What's my liking or not liking face veil have to do with this post?

High regards to you for giving valuable health tips for the general good of the humanity ..

These are not beliefs. They are scientific facts. It is my moral obligation to make aware other fellow human beings of the fact. It is the right of every human being to be told the right thing.

If I go on saying it is ok to be fat or obese, it is ok to smoke and it is ok to not take up exercise, I would actually be committing a big sin (by lying) but in fact a heinous crime, one that would make my lisence liable to be revoked.

Yeah, I avoid people who piss me off. But this Fin guy is not one of them. He pissed me off just a little, and deep inside, I kinda liked him, in fact, I loved him, something like a brother you know. And I was only trying to get him to this point, so he could understand what I was saying. And I am sure he got my message.

If there is to be a free forum for everything, let us have one for bullying too. So people could just take their discussion restricted to bullying there.

I know you do not support face veil. But I still like you. You are a good person.

This one would be the last one, for you deserve not even this one. In the United States because, that is where I got trained.

What is in a name?

That we call a rose will smell as sweet by any other name.

You pissed me off because I was only trying to help people understand a health problem, and you constantly kept opposing me. I do not have anything personal with you. And I do not take any delight in proving someone wrong.

Anyway, don't let him bother you. QL appears to attract these types.

Yep segmund is doing his double standards today. Blaming. Others for being bullies, then turns around and calls me a name. Wow. Mature "Doctor" he is.

Anyway no worries. He went away ... Maybe

More name calling, Segmund?

Ohhh

You are trying to direct this to me. Then get my name right. It is spelled Fin.

name calling now... segmund, you Better read the C G ' s # 3,4, & 6.

You are being a bully now, and not being the professional you claim to be.

Good for you on your studying in USA ......l

Well, I earn a living out of this.

Your comment is just to typical....

"you can always choose to shed your extra pounds, or never put them on in the first place, by adopting a healthier lifestyle with more activity and less calories."

Guess you don't know that people can and do gain weight without eating. Perhaps they are stressed, and depressed???

Stress & depression alone or certain medications they are on has been proven to add weight or be the cause of weight lost for that matter. Don't ass ume people are fat cause they over eat. They might even have a thyroid condition or other health issue, but still be very active people.

You always seem to be the expert on what people should or shouldn't do in their own life.

Thanks for you PSA of the day,.

Who you talking to segmund?

Oh I am good at google and copy paste also. And why limit this to USA. All real doctors around the world advise patients, that is their job.

you tend to believe those?

In the United States, as per guidelines, every doctor is obliged to give every patient with lifestyle problems (smoking, diet, activity) counselling on their healthy options.

I know some people are stubborn and choose not to listen to their advice. But at the end of the day, it is their own body and their own life, if they are bent on harming it, we cannot hold their hand. Our part is to make them aware and to offer help. Rest is upto their own sweet will.

Where do we go to pay the "doctor" for today's long medical advices on what does or doesn't cause weight gain.......uhgugggggghh. Segmund

This is a thread on bullied people.

Isn't there a medical thread you belong on?

:D

All 3 Segmund.:)

1. Harrison Textbook of Medicine

2. Current Medical Diagnosis and Treatment

3. A zillion of articles I have been reading over more than a decade of my professional life

4. Scores of teachers who taught me and other colleagues in the same profession as mine.

Do you want pubmed links?

sepatakairan,

That was very nice complement to The OP, but where in her post did it say she is fat? I read that she was saying she is normal, and someone wants her to have that certain "look"

But what is normal weight to most people, might be in the media something else..... which is underweight women with bones sticking out just to be models.

Healthy people don't mean over weight people.

My dear I told you there are certain conditions which make it easier for people to gain weight. Depression is NOT known to cause weight gain. More than 90 percent of the patients have weight loss due to loss of appetite. However, less than 10 might have atypical depression in which the patient has increased appetite (hyperphagia).

There is no such condition called stress in medicine. It is a layman term usually used to described an anxiety states. Again anxiety disorders have different types. The one most commonly encountered is generalized anxiety disorder. Once again weight gain is not a rule; however, some patient with perennial anxiety usually cope with certain unhealthy behaviors, one of which is stress-eating.

Hyperthyroidism can cause dramatic weight loss within a matter of days and hypothyroid patients gain weight despite trying not to.

All these conditions are extremely important to be screened out once a person comes to the clinic with a weight problem. However, these problems account for less than 1 percent of the epidemic of overweight and obesity.

Obesity itself is going to be added to the list of diseases very soon in the future. Thus it would need treatment regardless of it is primary or secondar to some other illness.

I am never saying we should ridicule obese people. I am myself taking 3 hours of exercise these days to stop myself and I am almost touching the upper limit of normal. I have usually stayed in the lower limit. It is just a health condition which needs awareness. As simple as that. OK?

all thos comments sourced from somewhere?

If it was in my domain, I would definitely do so. I would make it an obligation for everyone to take exercise daily and eat a healthier diet. However, it is in no way in my control, and living in Doha, I too am struggling with keeping my weight in the normal range and, although not impossible, it is pretty hard. Especially here given the weather, high-calorie foods and a culture of sedentariness.

However, it is a problem that has huge proportions. Its impact upon human society is much more than we might imagine. The burden of overweight, obesity, diabetes, heart and brain problems is much more than most of us are aware of. If not for ourselves, at least, we need to think for our kids and our future generations.

If the menace of obesity was not checked, we will very soon find people in their teens and twenties dying of heart attacks and strokes. The burden of diabetes would be simply unbearable. The compromise it would cause in terms of productivity is just apart from all this and is no less catastrophic.

I do not want to sound too technical, or too grim, but I think it is important to promote awareness of a problem that belongs to no single person or region but which is a communal problem and must be tackled as such.

If you are saying saying what you are saying out of experience, then I must say you have an amazing power of observation. If you have studied human behavior, then you are indeed well-read. If you say this just like that, then you have decidedly an exceptional intuition.

It is true. Most often our impression of other people are based on their appearances. It is a huge tragedy of human behavior that we are incapable of seeing beyond what is obvious. We just take things as they appear to us.

The second part that we see our own shortcomings, in an exaggerated and somewhat distorted fashion, in others is also true. It is true that when we have a problem, we assume that others must have similar problems too. However, this behavior is very complex and needs a detailed discussion (something pretty much beyond the scope of this discussion).

It's never just as easy as "eat less, move more" and I think anyone who says that has never had a problem with their weight.

Even saying it's that simple is judging people who are fat because they can't seem to do something "that simple"

I find it sad that people decide on a person's personality by just looking at them.

But I also think that more often than not this judgement reflects their own personality/perceived shortcomings.

I do really agree. women only gives a geeky looks to another woman..

God bless you and your loved ones too,luv. I think many of us women know how it feels to be the victim of someone's sharp tongue..not to mention disdainful expressions!

lol...:)

Ah...that, ya , that can be good too.:)

Nah, breakfast...:)

Being in office doing sedentary job shouldnt stop from doing some exercise...in fact there are some good recommended exercises for such people...like (instead of posting on QL) use that time to go around office building & take a walk. Sitting in chair we can do exercises for the neck, back and stomach. For healthy food, carry lots of fruits and veggies (may be cut overnight and kept in refrigerator) and just add some dressing for taste. Have a good (and if possible big) B/F in the morn before leaving for work full of the best things needed for the body..:)

However, to be on the thread, bullying of any form isnt and shouldn't be acceptable.

Prism...B/F...Boyfriend?

Good message mimiloves2sing.

Fathima, like always, I agree with you cent per cent. And I so totally get what you mean by those nasty comments women make to other women. It's like they are obsessed with these ideas of how exactly others lives should be, and to correct them if they are not. Really infuriating.

God bless you, and you are raising your daughter right :)

^Sounds like something from 1984. In fact, why don't we give everyone a number instead of a name?

Well Segmund, you go out and make healthy food cheaper and mandate exercise for everyone. See how many companies will let their employees out an hour earlier so they can hit the gym, and how many grocery stores will drop the price of fresh veg.

^And just imagine what an enormous burden of embarrassment could be lifted from the shoulders of heavy people if you would just mind your own business.

Three top killers in the world (preventible)

1. Smoking

2. Unhealthy diet

3. Sedentary life style

Just imagine for a split second what enormous burden of disease could be laid off the shoulders of humanity, if we could just bask the way of these three menaces.

Its just like non-smokers telling smokers, "Smoking is bad".. THEY KNOW!!!! You aren't a christian missionary from the 16th century preaching to the ignorant natives.

Who are you informing, Segmund? You think people of size don't know they are heavy?

why is a slim figure always good ?

Men tend to be more responsible for this than women in my opinion.Not in overt bullying so much, more in being generally superficial.

Well, being fat is not just about appearance. It is a health risk and I must inform you about it. Whether you want to listen to me or not is for you to determine.

mimi.....do remember that...even if someone you know has decided to bully you for your appearance....there are atleast one hundred others that love your heart and dont care about your fat...and I am one of those who care for your heart and your feelings..

Bullying someone regarding their weight is very sensitive. Specially women take it deep down...

But ya, slim figure is always good. people saying otherwise is either obese or is unable to become slim.

Agree Brit. The second ban should be on underweight models. While I understand that some women are naturally underweight, it really doesn't represent the majority of women. Models should be the size of the majority of women.

More intolerance from Segmund.

The first step should be a world wide ban on "Airbrushing".

This is a faudulant practice which falsifies reality..

I'm a victim.. Girls bully me, coz they say i look HOT.. and then they seduce me :'(

And I know EXACTLY what you mean. The world needs to stop obsessing over how women look...period! Hardly ever do you have people discussing a man's weight gain /weight loss etc as much they do about us women. And the worst part is many times it's our own womankind who are the culprits at making a woman feel bad about how she looks.

I know certain gals who would never compliment anyone to save their hide, but should someone have gained some weight or they are not having a good hair days, these ladies will be tripping over themselves to let em know that. Cruel to say the least.

How can hurting a person ever be ok? Even if you wanna "do it for their own good" (oh yeah don't they all) there is still a polite way to ask someone something. Diplomacy is really not a hard habit to aquire..try it!

Personally I get disturbed a lot about the fact that I have one child. Even fron strangers.People can truly be so Untactful and hurtful They assume the craziest stuff and ask the most personal of questions.. So annoying really! Like what else does the words "God gives to who he wills" which is my reply, mean that they still need to emphasize to me the importance of having children, that my daughter needs sibblings, etc. sheesh

Bottom line the world is made up of all sorts. Just cos someone dosen't fit our bill of who an ideal woman should be and what should she wear, and how much she should weigh, blah blah, dosen't mean she's any less a woman. And she dosen't need your "help" at getting there either.. Accept her for who she is and move on. And if you can't deal with the accepting bit then just do the moving on!

Yes it is vey important we instill in our kids traits like humbleness, tolerance, tact, kindness etc. what works best is cut it off at the root. The first day your kid comes home and tells you so and so is so fat, skinny, has protruding teeth, speaks funny etc...you tell him/her to stop right there. In my case, as a Muslim, I straight off tell her to stop backbiting and remind her of what God says about those who back bite, slander and gossip about others. I relate to her the relevant texts and stories and bingo.This works well and then some!

Kids need to know this kind of behavior is vile and unacceptable regardless of who does it!

Segmund its my choice, how does me being fat bother you?

If I had my way, fat people would be strangled at birth. Just kidding.

Well, I think no one has the right to taunt you over the way you appear. However, being fat is most often a matter of choice and less often something we do not have a control over.

Unless you have one of those very uncommon diseases, where weight gain is uncontrollable, you can always choose to shed your extra pounds, or never put them on in the first place, by adopting a healthier lifestyle with more activity and less calories.

Those who find excuses for being a smoker, alcoholics, and fat are only rationalizing their behavior but it just does not help them at all. The fact that these serious health risk factors exist for them remains all the same.

TFS

unfortunately nowadays some ppl are trying to make fun of everyone and thinking that they are the cool gang who make others laugh, thin or fat, tall or short, black or white, the way of talking, the way of walking etc. and I always reply for this ppl as Madonna once said in her complicated song "trying to be cool, u look like a fool to me"

The Anchor Ms. Jennifer is a public personality and and she was able to bring it to the public because of her access to the media. If she was not in the television program I don't think she would have got a chance to highlight the issue and releave herself from the mental agony.

What will be the situation of a normal individual who will get such an e-mail?

As a person familiar with the laws of physics I try to avoid the push of gravity on me. That's why I stay slim, not because of beauty. But it's easier for me to jump.

Another 'wise' man said:" Don't read beauty magazines, they only make you feel ugly!"

sad to say, but we have brought this upon ourselves by buying into the media and sales gumph which tells us that thin is "beautiful"..

Look at history and look at art. Women are always portrayed with fuller figures.

Women themselves need to stand up and say "Enough of stereo types"

There is so much pressure on women to conform to supposed "ideal" body types. The most disgusting thing I find lately is the focus on women like Jessica Simpson and Hilary Duff and their struggles to lose baby weight. Guess what world, women's bodies change with pregnancy, we gain weight, and it doesn't magically disappear after the baby pops out.

Jessica Simpson and Hilary Duff are the lucky ones, they have all the time in the world to spend with their babies, and the hired help to go to the gym. Other women have far more things to juggle, so finding time to hit the gym, or the energy to prepare healthy food is nigh impossible.

nationality bashing is still the biggest bullying here.

They are very easy going too ..

Fat people are more peaceful than thin people (who are still hungry). Caesar (around 60 BC) once said: Let fat people be around me.

Salaam.

Good findings,

Regards.

obviously you do not understand the meaning of the post!!!

It is not a post suggesting that over-weight or under-weight girls are seeking men who accept them and want them.

I am quite sure this post was not a date seeker message.

And we should not bully others too. Just yesterday I saw some girl being bullied by an older woman on the fact that she attempted to post a message. The older woman kept on calling into question the quality of her English skills and kept on implying, between the lines, that the girl was such a novice.

Initially, my attitude toward these cyber bullies was one of hatred and disgust. But with time, I found out that these bullies are actually themselves victims. Instead of being hated, they need to be sympathized with.

They are usually the people who keep on bullying others only because in real life they get all sort of bullying, humiliation and disadvantaged. Their bullying behavior, in a way, is their attempt to compensate for the loss.

Once you are able to see the mind of a bully from within, then they can never harm you. They can not even evoke any negative emotions in you. Instead, you start feeling sympathetically for them.

Having said that, I never condoned bullying behavior. I have seen many an event where bullying lead to serious problems, at times causing severe social dysfunction in certain individuals, at times even suicide.

Bullies must be apprehended and reprimanded. I wont be speaking out of turn, if I suggest that authorities might well consider potential legal action against anyone found to be bullying other people on the internet--- or anywhere.

I know lot of men like over weight Girls/ladies !!!!....

Girls+Ladies if u want informations pls. send me a mail. i can HELP U ALL !!!

Humans should not discriminate between themselves ..

We are all equal .. different only in colours like flowers ..