2 jokes

A Chinese family of 5 , named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States
In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck;
Bu became Buck;
Hu became Huck;
Su and Fu decided to stay in China.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Wal-Mart has everything

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him
, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better
see a doctor.'

'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies..

'There's a diagnostic computer down atWal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart.'

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog , urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a spe rm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1.. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart