A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
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It was cold December night in Manchester when Britexpat's grandson came walking up to his grandfather's house and noticed britexpat sitting on the porch, in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked.
Britexpat slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea."
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heard i love you
I am doing good...your sms was censored & encrypted by the Aliens on its way. Couldn't understand :(
Khattak,thanks thanks thanks :P
I was in Mars, just came back last night. How about you? You got my sms which I send to you from there?
Welcome Back Master Roy.....Long time hmmm :-)
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
I used go out with an anesthetist – she was a local girl…
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why nigger??
verisi, it's just a joke buddy....
Gabbar, get a life man..
A lady, her husband and young son were visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother:
"What's that?" "That's the elephant's tail," she replies.
"No, under the tail," says the youngster. The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."
The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question. His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's p***s, son."
"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy. The father draws himself up to his full height and says:
"Son, I've spoiled that woman."
why is that joke about a 'nigger' specifically?
Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry.
Boyfriend: That's ok, but who will marry us.
An old man buys hearing aids from a doctor.
Doctor: Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.
The old man: Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around them and listen to their conversations. In a month, I’ve changed my will three times!
who enters bathroom while madam is taking bath..
he stood there for fifteen minutes apologising.
Sorry for the delay in coming back..
I have spent the afternoon re-arranging the furniture in Draculas house… I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui
..
Ras Laffang?
Lol happy, that was the shortest joke I have heard :-D
Two Sardars were playing chess.
Lol...
It was cold December night in Manchester when Britexpat's grandson came walking up to his grandfather's house and noticed britexpat sitting on the porch, in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked.
Britexpat slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea."
Gabbar went to the doctor and said - "Doctor, 'I've got a bad back. "
The doctor said, 'It's old age.'
Gabbar said, 'I want a second opinion. '
The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
He who laughs last, thinks slowest... and he who laughs not...
i think people are getting hopeless,if they r laughing on this
sorry is this a joke?
what if i said:
what a nice red shirt you are wearing !!!!!
hahahahaha,hahah, ROFL
:-S
who hired the MBBS candidate instead of the candidate who had a PhD because the former had a bigger degree... M B B S
WK went to his doctor.... “Doctor I have a strange problem.. whenever I drink coffee, I experience a sharp, excruciating pain.”
“Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before you drink.” The doctor replied.
Are you sure you want me to be funny?
"Boy" you are still not funny ;)
I liked the madam in the shower one :-D
WK had an interview for his current job in Doha. Interviewer asked him “Did you ever meet any Railway accident?
“Yes, once the train was going through a long tunnel I have kissed the father instead of his daughter." WK replied.
LOL brit.. You are on a roll now
"You need to have a certain kind of humour to understand the joke..." thats why i didnt understand it
You know I'm trying to lose some weight and tone up. So, I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
Britexpat to his servant: Why did you enter into bathroom? You did not even knock the door. Didn't you know I was taking bath?
Servant: Sorry sir, it was a mistake. I thought it was madam in the shower.
you have different fingers :-p
Is it wrong that I actually found this joke funny?
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded,"Thank you, your honor,
I'll have a scotch and soda." :-)
From the Edinburgh fringe Festival ! lots of jokes,too many to mention!!! Possibly not funny to other cultures,as brit rightly said.
Topic joke was very English humour. Nice and dry ;)
Liked it .. :O)
Man:: "I saw my Wife going 2 a movie with a strange Man."
Friend : "Did u follow them inside?"
"No yaar," "I had already SEEN the Movie !
"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't want to interrupt her."
Judge: What was he doing when u arrested him?
Cop: He was arguing with a driver.
Judge: That`s no proof he was drunk.
Cop: There was no driver there.
:-)
Lol, this one was better :-D
Yesterday, I got home, and the phone was ringing.
I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said 'You are.'"
Now , it's your turn... :O)
this one is no where near your usual best...
You need to have a certain kind of humour to understand the joke...
brite..second one is better than the first...........
Good one britexpat.
This is why I posted it in "Culture", because what is funny to me, may not be to you..
By the way, I thought the joke was great.. Not brilliant, but great..
Try this...
"My mother is always taking photographs of me - she said if you disappear tomorrow I want you to look good on the news."
My favourite, An Irishman walked out of a bar
That was a joke? :-)