You will laugh your heads out after you finish reading this!!!
You will laugh your heads out after you finish reading this!!!
You will laugh your heads out after you finish reading this!!! (Nice One From Reader Digest)
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"!! I nearly died!!!
You might have heard this before.
Clinton and Pope died on the same day. Dur to an document error
the Pope went to the hell and Clinton went to the heven.
Then the Pope complained Satan the leader in the hell claiming that
he is not supposed to go there and requested to recheck documentation.
Then Satan contacted God and double checked documents. Then they found
the documentation error and arranged to exchange Clinton to the Hell
and Pope to the Heven. The correction of documents took 5 minutes only.
During the exchange Clinton met Pope in between and shouted at Pope saying "Why the hell you want to go to heven ?"
Then Pope replied "I want to see Vergin Mary !". Then clinton replied
"Then you are 5 minutes late !"
Good one Murali :)
Those twelve guest must have been very brave to stand all those farts and the stinking cabbage smell...
...You can't mean what you say unless you can say what you mean...
I read it before, but i still laught out loud til now!!!
Hahahahaha!