Unzip the skirt

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind a third time to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends!"

Sharing a bed
A guy was spending the night with a married couple in their apartment. Since they didn't have a couch, they let him share their bed with them.

Once they all went to bed and the husband fell asleep, the wife whispered in the guy's ear, "Pull a hair from my husband's head; if he is asleep we can make love."

The guy pulled a hair and he didn't wake up, so the guy proceeded to make it with the wife. Not satisfied, the wife told him lets do it a again, then a third time, which he happily did.

Finally, the husband rolled over and said wearily, "It's bad enough that you're making love to my wife in the same bed as me, but do you have to use me as a scoreboard?"