Top Facts. Chuck Norris.

It's been a while since I looked at these, but here you go. These are all true by the way...

TOP FACTS.

*There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

*Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

*Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

* Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

*Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

*Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

*Chuck Norris once stared at the sun for hours... the sun then blinked.

*Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

*Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

*Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

*Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

*When Chuck Norris looks at himself at a mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Chuck Norris.

*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

*Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

*Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.

*Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

*Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

*Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

*When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in 2012 he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."

*Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

*Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - No one fools with Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.

*Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.

*There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

*If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.

*Chuck Norris doesnt mow his lawn. He just stands outside and dares it to grow.

*Chuck Norris was what Willis was talking about.

*Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

*The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

*Chuck Norris once stabbed a knife with a human being.

*Chuck Norris can watch music.

*Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

*Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..

*Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes

*The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake

*We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

*Growing up Chuck Norris raised 4 turtles, we now them now as the Ninja Turtles

*When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

*Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as ''You Know Who''

*Some kids pee their name in snow. Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete.

*Chuck Norris can ski uphill

*The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.

*Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

*Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret

*Chuck Norris got UNO while playing Texas hold 'em.

*Chuck Norris can speak Russian... in Chinese.

*Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Seconds.