Time for some MEN bashing ;-P

azilana7037
By azilana7037

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?

A: Puppies grow up.

*************

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?

A: Because they are...

*************

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?

A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

*************

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?

A: Who cares?????.....

*************

Q: What did God say after he created man?

A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

*************

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?

A: I don't know, I've never seen either.

*************

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

A: I) no mind ii) no business

*************

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .

*************

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?

A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...

*************

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

*************

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?

A: Exchange him!!

*************

Q: Why do men like smart women?

A: Opposites attract.

*************

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By Grantley• 21 Nov 2007 08:37
Grantley

Most of my similar jokes are already posted.

But - Piano Bar at la Cigale full? Last Wednesday there must have been 15 ppl there, and last night even fewer. It's so quiet that some were even working on their laptops. Bear in mind the woman on the piano "encourages" ppl to singalong to their favourites, so it's really just an expensive karaoke bar... And expensive...

By t_coffee_or_me• 20 Nov 2007 23:06
t_coffee_or_me

Q: What did God say after he created man?

A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

after God created women nobody has rested lol

I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here

Than a whole truck load when I'm gone

By Booo• 20 Nov 2007 22:59
Booo

LOL

By hassan1024• 20 Nov 2007 22:13
hassan1024

This is funny stuff...

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 20:21
anonymous

How the hell am i gonna find out anything ??

Give me a clue .....

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By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 20:20
Rating: 3/5
buttercupryle

it's for you to find out...waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 20:18
anonymous

I'm now intrigued by that statement....Please tell me....

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By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 20:15
Rating: 4/5
buttercupryle

you are one of the biggest celebrities here.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 20:12
anonymous

"Now hes online girls".

Does this mean you girlies were gossiping about me ??

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By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 20:06
anonymous

year too....Yipee, im not alone !

Hey there Misslillywhite, how you doing ?

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By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 20:04
anonymous

They dont call me studley ramrod for nothing.....

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By miss.lillywhite• 20 Nov 2007 20:03
miss.lillywhite

It has been a "crap" year for me to.

By jauntie• 20 Nov 2007 20:02
jauntie

screen just cracked ! lmao

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:59
Rating: 2/5
buttercupryle

are you really searching for love?

I will sing to you...

I hope you know, I hope you know...

that there is nothing to do with you,

....and Big boys don't cry.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:58
anonymous

i dont think your fella would like it........??

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:57
Rating: 4/5
azilana7037

Never been to their PIANO BAR but they said it's always fully booked.

Th Orion Bar at the new Ramada Plaza's ok...

when would be the next shindig be???

Jauntie girl...miss yah...

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:57
anonymous

'Cos you have no love, sex or companionship.

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:54
Rating: 2/5
buttercupryle

Remember the song "No woman, no cry" by Bob Marley

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:54
anonymous

Typical !

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By drgamal• 20 Nov 2007 19:52
drgamal

add me on [email protected]

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:52
anonymous

just may be a while, gonna be busy in Saudi as soon as i get my business visa, what with the new depot opening there and all.

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:51
Rating: 3/5
buttercupryle

Oh c'mon don't say that! Gotta use your charm..

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:50
anonymous

months...Got a years contract...LOL

I am fine really, just a bit lonely tonite, everybody feels like this sometimes, even if you have friends or family there, its just human nature.

Now back to the women bashing......

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By jauntie• 20 Nov 2007 19:48
jauntie

You seemed happy enough when I met you here in Doha. Always out and about, it seemed, and dancing the night awayyyyyyyyyyyy.

Yes, I know it all went pear shaped when you returned to Bahrain, but up until then I got the impression 2007 was a bit of a 'gas' for you!

When are you coming back over here to keep us 'ladies' entertained? I thought we were on a promise for a slap up Full English at Rydges some time soon?

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:47
Rating: 5/5
buttercupryle

you have to move on...

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By azee• 20 Nov 2007 19:47
azee

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling

at the front door, who do you let in first?...

The dog, of course . . . at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:46
Rating: 3/5
buttercupryle

so bad..

silent treatment works..try it girls.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By azee• 20 Nov 2007 19:45
azee

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling

at the front door, who do you let in first?...

The dog, of course . . . at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:44
Rating: 4/5
buttercupryle

battered husband

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By dweller• 20 Nov 2007 19:44
Rating: 4/5
dweller

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties to perform.

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his new wife to do all the dishes and cleaning in the house. He said it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and all the dishes were cleaned and put away.

James had married a woman from Australia and he bragged that he had given his new wife orders to do all the cleaning, wash the dishes and the do the cooking. He told them the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better and by the third day his house was clean, the dishes done and there was a huge meal on the table.

Matt said the he had married a Yorkshire lass. He boasted that the duties he had ordered her to do were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry done and hot meals on the table every day...... He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little bit out of his left eye; enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and call a landscaper....

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:43
Rating: 3/5
buttercupryle

these five secrets should be from one man..

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:43
anonymous

Number 4 on that list .....LOL

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By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:42
anonymous

I cant wait for 2007 to end, its been a crap year !

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By dweller• 20 Nov 2007 19:41
Rating: 5/5
dweller

5 secrets to a great relationship

1. It is important to find a man who works around the house,

occasionally cooks and cleans and who has a job.

2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn't lie.

4. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to

have sex with you.

5. It is important that these four men never meet.

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:40
Rating: 3/5
buttercupryle

lol..

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:37
anonymous

Just misunderstood

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:36
Rating: 4/5
buttercupryle

this is he's normal mode.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:36
Rating: 3/5
azilana7037

I think I'm the one who needs back-up :-/

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:35
anonymous

But theres none here....LOL

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:33
anonymous

(Inshallah)

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:32
Rating: 4/5
azilana7037

You can handle "women" quite charmingly..whehehehe

(kidding here)

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:31
Rating: 4/5
buttercupryle

Try to wake-up Red_pope or Vegas..

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:30
anonymous

Just fighting the mens corner !

No one to back me up

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:30
Rating: 3/5
buttercupryle

Just kidding..

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:28
Rating: 3/5
azilana7037

Slow down....

I did "some" MEN BASHING....

you TOOK the whole enchelada...lol

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:28
anonymous

Its just for laughs

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:27
anonymous

Bored bored bored !!

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:26
Rating: 4/5
buttercupryle

Now you've changed.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:26
anonymous

joke: What does a woman and carpet have in commen? if you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them later

joke: why are womens feet so small? So they can stand closer to the stove

How are women and a pile of dog crap alike? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up !!!!!!!!!!

joke: How do we know that God is a man? A:If God was a woman, semen would taste like chocolate.

joke: Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

joke: What do you do when the dish washer is broken? Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work.

joke: Why did the woman cross the road? It doesnt matter, why was she out of the kitchen in the first place.

joke: what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin, you done told her twice.

joke: why cant women ski? because theres no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.

joke: What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? The back of my hand.

joke: How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

joke: Why don't women need a watch? There's a clock on the stove.

joke: Did you know there are female hormones in beer? If you drink too it makes you talk crap and drive horrible.

joke: Why do they call it PMS? Cause mad cow disease was already taken.

By sentibhim• 20 Nov 2007 19:24
sentibhim

may be MR Paul thinks as god gift .lol

GOOD EVENING MR PAUL.

"Drink Beer Save Water"

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:23
Rating: 2/5
azilana7037

I'm just clowning around...no head biting here, compañero ;-P

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:21
Rating: 3/5
azilana7037

I like this one better....

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?

A: Exchange him!!

Hmmm...the problem is, you get a different brand...but still get the same stuff.

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:19
anonymous

No need to bite my head off !

(unless you want to)

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By sentibhim• 20 Nov 2007 19:17
sentibhim

Q: What did God say after he created man?

A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

Hmmmm hmmm plz respect us.lol

"Drink Beer Save Water"

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:16
Rating: 4/5
azilana7037

what made you think I'm not :-)

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:15
Rating: 5/5
azilana7037

at each other's throats...lol

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:15
anonymous

Hey Azz, you ok girl ?

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:13
Rating: 4/5
azilana7037

...it only ends when each makes a vow of "Till death do us part"...lol

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By azilana7037• 20 Nov 2007 19:12
Rating: 4/5
azilana7037

It's been a while....

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do and THEN do your best.-W. Edwards Deming

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:11
Rating: 2/5
buttercupryle

Is this a war of the sexes?

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:11
anonymous

Finally

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By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:10
anonymous

So they can stand closer to the sink !

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

By buttercupryle• 20 Nov 2007 19:10
Rating: 4/5
buttercupryle

now he's On line girls!!

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” - Paulo Coelho

By anonymous• 20 Nov 2007 19:09
anonymous

You only have to punch infomation into a computer once !

[img_assist|nid=17018|title= PUSH THE TEMPO !!|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]

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