Questions about India :)
The answers are the actual responses by the tourism website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour…
Q: Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( :country-regionUK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water..
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in :country-regionIndia ? ( :country-regionUSA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa . Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring c utlery into India ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? ( :country-regionFrance )
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of....oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: =2 0Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A: You're a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum.20( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where=2 0I can sell it in India ? ( USA )
A: Any place where significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? ( Italy )
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.
Q: Do you have Toilet paper? ( USA )
A: No, we use sand paper. (We have different grades)
This article is older than Methuselah. Did you really think it was about India? This has been floating around the 'net for years. I'm sure it's sprung from some usenet group or another... It's been about the US, Australia, South Africa...
The fact that you're all debating over the lines like it's actually true is so embarrassing. Why are you so ignorant??
Great sense of humour !!!!!!
Of course thats ridiculous true in some sense. Everything happens in India.
I have faced similar questions on flights many times.Mostly from Westerners and Far easterners ;) it's nothing toxic. ;)
Source:
- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)
There are moments in a day when one wants to just relax and cut off the thinking process and see things as they are...what could be better at this times if someone can make u laugh....
reading this thread after 8 hrs. in office is just like that...thanks Baby90231 for activating this thread else I wouldnt have got to read it... and I just couldnt stop laughing and am still laughing...funny it is... one just need to have that aptitude to relish things as they are served at times...humor loses its touch if ananlysed.... lol
________________________________________
One life to live, live it to the fullest.
To be honest, some of the questions could have been interpreted the wrong way, making the answer a bit dull.
Eg: 'can I bring cutlery into India?' is to me, a perfectly acceptable question from a traveller who is already told not to bring shampoo, shower gel or any other toiletries in their hand luggage. Cutlery can be seen as a dangerous item' and it could be interpreted as meaning 'do you need to have it in the hold, or can you bring it in your hand luggage'. For another thing, bringing cutlery with you may not mean you want to offend a restaurateur by wipping out your own from your handbag! It may simply be intended for a present, to feed a child or to use at airports...
Similarly 'do you have perfume?' doesn't necessarily mean 'does it exist?' but may invite a response such as 'yes, this type, this type and that type' (i.e., which brand/name of perfume do you have).
If I was the one asking the question and got that type of answer (obviously, it's a fake response, and I understand that), I would just tell them to get a life and answer the damn question!
My reply to your comments is:
Q: =2 0Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A: You're a British politician, right?
I am not surprised by these questions
India is such diverse society with so many religions and cultures and langueages it is difficuilt for an Indian to understand her properly , so no wonder for a westerner.
Arabs had trade relations wiith India for more than 3000 years , rice and other food use to come maily from India . Now you ask a young Arab he will say i dont know anything about India
During my travel i have met many people asking similar questions about India
One reason is that in media they still portrait the image of snake chamers and elephants and cows
During one international conference i was asked to give a small private session on yoga and massage by few collegues from europe
They thought all the indians are experts in yoga and natural remedies
But i am surprised by the fact that people never care to understand another culture or try to respect it
Even in QL i can see a lot of people trying to racially abuse the others
LETS RESPECT EACH OTHER AND LIVE MORE PEACEFULLY
thats funny :-D
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Q: Do you have Toilet paper? ( USA )
A: No, we use sand paper. (We have different grades)
Q: Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A: No, WE don't stink.
R-7
You already know, they are sarcastically hilarious and very provocative in thoughts, at the same time, some Indian are getting offended. Oh well, shit happens!
LMAO
everybody is smart and intelligent enough....
Nobody is Fool anymore...i agree i lost my sense of humour...dear (read in a different/serious mode like Drac)
over smart comedy.
its making fun of the expats NOT the Indians...we are laughing at ourselves for our ignorance...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
time; nonsensicle questions/answers...R7?
didn't find any humour.....
and i don't call large hipped women hippos...heavens I could WIN that race right now!!
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
For Shame.. i would never call a large hipped woman a Hippo :P
I can only imagine wht she would call me hmmmm.......
and by the way, hippo racing is a sport in America...only its not real hippos...they are talking about large hipped women...In Texas they have dances called Pig Pushes...same thing...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Hehe .. I'm gonna start using some of these to answer dumb-ass questions on QL ;o)
Did you Google it first?