The Purina dog food diet
I received this joke from my sister and thought it would appeal to a lot of you. Obviously I have used a bit of poetic licence with regards to name of store:
Yesterday I was at my local Food palace buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Lilly, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story). Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's a**$$ and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
PetCareRx advises that while looking for a decent dog food, it's more important to make sure the meal "is balanced for dog all life phases and than look for specific ingredients.
Or Little Johny, they are pretty short
Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out.
"If I gave you £200," the teacher began," and you gave £50 to Mary, £50 to Sally and £50 to Susan, what would you have?"
"An orgy," Johnny answered :(
Yes......they're the funniest.....usually.....
That's part of the joke...the build up. would you prefer one liners like.... why did the chicken cross the road or how do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge?
???????....Thats a long joke for such an anticlimax!!!