Letters to a landlord

Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords: (Dont worry, not in Qatar thou...)

1. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

2. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and not fit to drink.

3. Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.