Laughter is the best medicine

Last
year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources in my computer.

In addition, Wife
1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other
system activities. Applications such as ClubbingNights 3.1, Super
Sunday Play Ball 2.0 , BeerWithBuddiesAtLocalPub 6.5, FishingTrip 7.0
and Lepakings 1.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I
can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0 .

Please help!

Thanks,

"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many
people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM (OS) and it is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!

It
is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0 .
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the
system o nce installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because
Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual
under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support).

I recommend that you keep
Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment. I suggest installing the
background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great
program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with
several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and
DoLaundry 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these
programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program
NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software Dresses 2.1 and
Jewellery 5.0.

WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances,
install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.0 . This application is not supported
by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system
and to your computer as well.

Hope that helps.
Admin