Language please!

Follow the instructions at your own risk:

Paris hotel elevator :
-Please leave your values at the front desk.
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Tokyo hotel :
-It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not read this notice.
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Bucharest hotel :
-The list is being fixed for the next day. During this time you will be unbearable.
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Leipzig elevator :
-Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
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Athens hotel :
-Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11am daily.
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Swiss menu :
-Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
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Bangkok dry cleaners :
-Drop your trousers here for best results.
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Paris dress shop :
-Dresses for street walking.
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Rhodes tailor shop :
-Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
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Rome laundary : Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
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Swiss mountain inn :
-Special today... no ice cream.
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Copenhagen airline :
-We take your bags and send them in all directions.
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Moscow hotel :
-If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
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Norwegian lounge :
-Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
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Acapulco hotel :
-The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
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