Joke Time
Country Story
Barry Farmer got into his Toyota 4 x 4 and drove to the neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, Neil, aged about 9, opened the door.
'Is yer Dad home?' Barry demanded.
'No, sir, he ain't,' Neil replied. 'He went into town.'
'Well, then,' inquired Barry, 'is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'
'How about your brother? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad,' explained Neil patiently.
Barry Farmer stood there for a few seconds, shifting from one foot to the other and muttering to himself.
'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' Neil asked politely. 'I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'
'Well, it's difficult,' answered Barry uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother getting my daughter pregnant.'
Neil considered for a moment, 'You would have to talk to Dad about that,' he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Dad charges $600 for the bull and $60 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.'
Peanuts
Dave, a bus driver, was driving a bus load of pensioners to Brighton, on a day trip, when he was tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offered him a handful of peanuts, which he happily took and ate. After about 20 minutes, she tapped him on his shoulder again and she handed him another handful of peanuts. The old dear repeated this generous gesture several more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he decided to ask the little old lady, 'Why don't you and your friends eat the peanuts yourself?' .
'We can't chew them because We've no teeth' , she answered.
Dave was puzzled and enquired, 'Then why on earth do you buy them?'
'Oh, we just love the chocolate around them', replied the old lady.
lol..... peanuts and rizks were great ;)
thanks osama.but it costs $600 for the bull to impregnate one cow. The cow's owner only pays the cost once it gets pregnant courtesy of the bull. So, he will need 30 cows to earn $18thou provided they all get pregnant. lol.... that really is good business.
lol nice jokes
if we consider the human rate equal to the bull 600$ per day means $18 thousand per month, perfect! :p
lol..mr. britexpat, i wonder what mr. rizks is doing in his farm so early in the morning.
Hahaha! I love the peanut story!
After making lots of money as an Expat, Colt45 buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. If the sheep get pregnant, they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant. Colty, not knowing what artificial insemination means comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks Rizks to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass. "No," says Rizks, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn."