IRISH FUNNIES
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy
looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to
you,that you're from Ireland."
The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"
The first guy says, "So am I! And whereabouts from Ireland might you be?"
! The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."
The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did
you live on in Dublin?"
The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street
in the old central part of town."
The first guy says, "Faith, it's a small world, so did I! So did I!!
And to what school would you have been going?"
The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."
The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what
year did you graduate ?"
The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see, I graduated in 1964."
The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can
hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you
believe it - I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."
About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits, and orders a drink.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters,
"It's going to be a long night tonight!!!!"
Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"
"The Kelly twins are drunk again."
Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue
playing standing up.
Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone's got to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"
They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to
be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.
"Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishman you'll ever meet.
Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."
Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs.
Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares: "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Gallagher.
I like that saying very much!
Btw just as an aside....you listed your country as Hong Kong....no wonder you liked my signature.....do you know who said it?
Answer: Bruce Lee =)
Stay safe.
Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?
Hi Ragnarock Raider
In my profession there is a saying 'continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection'. It echoes your motto.
Think2
Thanks for sharing.
Stay safe.
Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHO SAYS ENGLISH IS AN EASY LANGUAGE? FILL IN THE BLANKS WITH YES/NO only. (1) __ I DON'T HAVE SENSE. (2) __ I AM STUPID. (3) ____ I DONT HAVE BRAIN.
Hey you flooded my e-mail with your jokes :)
"I'm getting a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months."
"Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get."
WHO SAYS ENGLISH IS AN EASY LANGUAGE? FILL IN THE BLANKS WITH YES/NO only. (1) __ I DON'T HAVE SENSE. (2) __ I AM STUPID. (3) ____ I DONT HAVE BRAIN.