Immigrants Poem

Colt45
By Colt45

I cross ocean, poor and broke, take bus, see employment folk.

Nice man treat me good in there, say I need to see welfare.

Welfare say, 'You come no more, we send cash right to your door. "

Welfare checks - they make you wealthy! Medicare - it keep you healthy!

By and by, I get plenty money, thanks to you, you Canadian dummy!

Write to friends in motherland, tell them 'come as fast as you can. "

They come in turbans and Toyota trucks, and buy big house with welfare bucks!

They come here, we live together, more welfare checks, it gets better!

Fourteen families, they moving in, but neighbor's patience wearing thin.

Finally, Canadian guy moves away, now I buy his house, then I say, 'Find more immigrants for house to rent." And in the yard I put a tent.

Everything is very good, and soon we own the neighborhood.

We have hobby, it's called breeding. Welfare pay for baby feeding.

Kids need dentist? Wives need pills? We get free! We got no bills!

Canadian crazy! They work all year, to keep the welfare running here.

We think Canada darn good place, too darn good for Canadian race!

If they no like us, they can scram. Got lots of room in Afghanistan!

By Nic• 27 Oct 2010 12:16
Nic

ramil26,

Both countries couldn’t be more different!

Canada is a democracy with a mature social security system in place, labor law that gives rights to all human beings on a equal basis...

Is Qatar any of that?... lol

By ramil26• 27 Oct 2010 11:54
ramil26

Nic, same goes with whats happening 'round where we are now.

By Nic• 27 Oct 2010 10:39
Nic

Its not as easy to munch out of the system as it used to be, but still amongst many hard working people, some parasites losers keep coming and finding their away to suck out on the country that welcomes them.

By bubblymom• 27 Oct 2010 10:15
bubblymom

under the table... :((

By drmana• 27 Oct 2010 10:14
drmana

How which frustrated soul penned this poem? :-)

By britexpat• 27 Oct 2010 10:13
britexpat

I know many Indians who went to canada from Saudi. many have found it hard going... :O(

By soniya• 27 Oct 2010 10:09
soniya

Lol WK..

My GUJJU husband is well aware of our few UNIQUE SLANGS..He has never left any chance to pull my leg regarding this..:))

CHALO KANNAADDA CHALEIN...lol

(Let's go to CANADA)

By mjamille28• 27 Oct 2010 10:09
mjamille28

bubbly, duh!! where were you anyway.. hahaha ;)

By bubblymom• 27 Oct 2010 10:07
bubblymom

how did i miss this one?

nice one Colt. :p

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 10:05
anonymous

Lol brit..

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 10:04
anonymous

The funny and the sad thing is.. I had a couple of friends who couldn't finish their engineering, failed and all.. When the rest of the batch started working and some of us went for higher studies, they were sitting at home doing nothing. When we asked them, what you gonna do now, their response, well since there is nothing to do, let's go to Canada.

By soniya• 27 Oct 2010 10:00
soniya

brit, SONIYA POEM?? what's this??

By soniya• 27 Oct 2010 09:59
soniya

Well i have never pronounced TORONTO as toorrentoo and VANCOUVER as VANCOOVER...:))

Even i have never seen any of my GUJRATI relatives(from my hubby's side) pronouncing ENGLAND as said above..We are smart people, you know...

By britexpat• 27 Oct 2010 09:56
britexpat

For goodness sake. Soniya poem !

By soniya• 27 Oct 2010 09:55
soniya

Aye colt, i am not serious MAN..:)

But u know i still prefers to call myself 80% PUNJABI even after being married for long to a GUJJU..lol

By snessy• 27 Oct 2010 09:53
snessy

Aaahhh bless! Stop picking on Soniya, it's not her fault her lot speak funny ;-)

By britexpat• 27 Oct 2010 09:53
britexpat

Dear Diary:

Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.

Oct. 14 - Canada... it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colours and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here!

Nov. 11 - Remembrance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here!

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada!

Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plough did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shovelling. Blasted snow plough.

Dec. 22 - More of that white muck fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shovelling. I think the snow plough hides around the corner until I'm done shovelling the driveway. Asshole.

Dec. 25 - Merry Blasted Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonovabitch who drives the snow plough, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the blasted ice.

Dec. 27 - More white muck last night. Been inside for three days now except for shovelling out the driveway after that snow plough goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white muck and it's so frigging cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the muck again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

Dec. 28 - That blasted weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the muck this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plough got stuck up in the road and that bastard came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shovelling out all the muck he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his blasted head.

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those blasted beasts should be killed. The bastards are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November.

May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that blasted salt they put all over the roads.

May 10 - Moved to Chandgargh. Love it. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada!

Signed...

WK

By Ice Maiden• 27 Oct 2010 09:51
Ice Maiden

Painful truth in that poem.

Keep "spreading the wealth".

By Colt45• 27 Oct 2010 09:51
Colt45

Apologies then, bring out the Punju in you and say torrento :-P

btw, i love the smiley's you put up after your comment :-))

By somwerNdmiddle• 27 Oct 2010 09:48
somwerNdmiddle

i'm loving this! torrrono!

By soniya• 27 Oct 2010 09:48
soniya

Abbey colt, i am still HALF PUNJU....

By Colt45• 27 Oct 2010 09:48
Colt45

I just realised, you DONT qualify to go to Kaaneda... you don't sport a turban :-P

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 09:47
anonymous

OMG this is my favourite thread of the day.. I love Gujjus..

By soniya• 27 Oct 2010 09:47
soniya

Naah colt, beautifully written so asked u...:))

I have no doubts on your PENNING SKILL...

By britexpat• 27 Oct 2010 09:47
britexpat

It's pronounced "Torrrronno"

By Colt45• 27 Oct 2010 09:46
Colt45

The gujju's say Inglend ( no offense Soniya :-P)

Maroo beta Inglend ma che :-))

By mjamille28• 27 Oct 2010 09:46
mjamille28

LOL WK.. :P

By snessy• 27 Oct 2010 09:44
snessy

So many different ways, I love it :-)

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 09:43
anonymous

There is Vankuvar too in Kanaada :P

Nobody ever says I want to go to Quebec, too hard to pronounce..

They just say Thalle wala Kanaada (Lower part of Canada) :P

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 09:41
anonymous

Snessy Inglundddd :P

By mjamille28• 27 Oct 2010 09:41
mjamille28

lol WK, can't wait to hear that.. :P

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 09:40
anonymous

Lol MJ I will show you how Toronto, Canada is pronounced in Punjab.. The state in India where everyone thinks it's their birthright to go to Canada :P

By mjamille28• 27 Oct 2010 09:40
mjamille28

lol soniya, not in this life.. :P

By Colt45• 27 Oct 2010 09:40
Colt45

You have any doubts? :-P

By Colt45• 27 Oct 2010 09:39
Colt45

or even Inglend :-))

By snessy• 27 Oct 2010 09:39
snessy

Hahaha, not heard it pronounced like that before, but I have heard England as Inglaaaand.

By soniya• 27 Oct 2010 09:38
soniya

colt, has it been penned by you????

By mjamille28• 27 Oct 2010 09:37
mjamille28

lol Colt, oh really.. :P

By Colt45• 27 Oct 2010 09:37
Colt45

That is how some of them Indians pronounce it over there :-)) It's hilarious!!!

By mjamille28• 27 Oct 2010 09:36
mjamille28

lol WK, you make it sound like a car.. :P

By Colt45• 27 Oct 2010 09:35
Colt45

torrento, kanaada.... OMG!!! so true eh???

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 09:34
anonymous

Snessy ofcourse you would see the truth ;)

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 09:34
anonymous

Colt after Qatar, next stop Torrento, kanaada :P

By sentibhim• 27 Oct 2010 09:32
sentibhim

Nice Poem.lol

By snessy• 27 Oct 2010 09:32
snessy

Haha! I read so much truth in that...

By mjamille28• 27 Oct 2010 09:31
mjamille28

LOL nice one.. :P

By Colt45• 27 Oct 2010 09:30
Colt45

So what are you waiting for??? :-P

By anonymous• 27 Oct 2010 09:29
anonymous

Lol Colt.. My friends do keep telling me to come over there.. LOL

By Rizks• 27 Oct 2010 09:27
Rizks

Colt can you read for me tat joke plz ? :(

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