The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
Bloke goes to the doctor and says "You've got to help, there's a steering wheel growing in my pants" The doctor had a look and swiftly removed the offending article.
"Thanks, Doc" said the patient, "that's been driving me nuts!!"
A guy walks INTO a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?"
The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
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Sometimes I act as if I'm dead to avoid getting hurt again... Cockroach being emotional... Haha
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
I just got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said .... 'You are." :o(
if your a basketball i cant shoot you....
cause ill always miss u.....
Q: What do Disney World & VIAGRA have in common?
A: They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
I asked the waiter how long the chips would be
He said 'about five centimeters each', I expect Madam ;-/
Just went and re-arranged the furniture in Draculas house… I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui
Bloke goes to the doctor and says "You've got to help, there's a steering wheel growing in my pants" The doctor had a look and swiftly removed the offending article.
"Thanks, Doc" said the patient, "that's been driving me nuts!!"
Dracula, you got me there buddy.ROFL.
Seantrump takes his mother-in-law to the doctor and asks him also:
- Please, treat her as your treating your own mother-in-law.
Q: How can make your wife to cry while making love?
A: Call her and... tell her!
A guy walks INTO a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?"
The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
Q: What's the difference between a brit and an aussie?
A: Nuthing
I am loving the one you gave me, that old classic comedy : The Empty Cookie Jar by Arthur Anymore
I was quite uncomfortable in my chair so i checked and there under the cushion was the water bird i'd bought from an online auction site.
Turn's out I'm sitting on the duck off eBay.
Didn't like it..
I'm now reading the Welsh classic - Bubbles in the Bath by Ivor Windibottom.
How you getting on with the book I lent you?
Where to Find Islands: Archie Pelago ;-/
judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
britexpat, LOL. i have the native aboriginal dress.planning to wear it one day.
Saw Seantrump playing a didgeridoo today. I thought - that's aboriginal.
Doctor: Why are you here?
Patient: Because I'm not there.
A cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"