Husband & Wife....Jokes
Something to smile about
Marriage Humor
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears...'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
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Stress Reliever
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles..'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
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Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing..'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever..
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
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Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the Head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on' The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied.
'Your horse phoned'
older jokes.... but too gud
iIf lyf iz too tough to Stand.............Kneel down !!!
hahahaa...actually i have read these jokes before but it tickled me still..
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us bow our heads and stand in silence for 2 minutes.
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.
Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there's no choice.
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
lol
Nice jokes...
Nice jokes...makes me really laugh...
" Tomorrow is not just another day, it's another chance..."
copy and paste from old threads to make us laugh sometimes!
victory ji, i wasn't knowing that u can JOKE as well..all jokes are gud..
Kumaran...hahaha....u r getting naughtier.......lols
dEV,
Bad is never good untill worse happens...
Kumaran...hahaha....u r getting naughtier.......lols
dEV,
Bad is never good untill worse happens...
Sardarji: I divorced my wife on the 1st night.
Frnd: Why?
Sardar: I saw the lebel on her panties, "Tested OK by Mafatlal & Sons."
2.. Sardar: Yaar my wife is very scared of water.
Frnd: How did you know?
Sardar: Twice when i got home i saw her having a bath with the security guard
3.The Nurse was taking a blood sample from sardar. She held his finger and squeesed for the blood. So the Sardar laughed.
Nurse: Why did you laugh
Sardar: after this it is the urine test.
4. Husband & wife having dinner together.
Wife: Darling, tell me something that would make me both happy & sad.
Husband: Ur nixxxx r bettr than ur sister's!
5. On the first night of the marraige the husband gives the wife Rs.500 and says
" I have never done this for free"
Wife returns rs.200 and says
"i have not charged more than this before"
lolzz dev.in.doha..
good jokes..last one was really funny
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
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Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills..
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.
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Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
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Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!
Really liked the last one..all r funny...
These were posted very very recently here somewhere in QL I think, all of them.
Anyways, nice try to make us smile.