Have a break....Joke time

Who's smarter now

A lawyer beats a traffic stop sign and gets pulled over by a traffic police. He thinks he is smarter than the cop because he thinks he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the cop’s expense. “License and registration, please,” the cop says. “What for?” he asks. The cop answers, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.” “I slowed down, and no one was coming,” he says. “You still didn’t come to a complete stop. License and registration, please.” “What’s the difference?” “The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!”He says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket.” The cop says, “Exit your vehicle, sir.” At this point, the cop takes off his gloves, starts slapping the lawyer and says, “Do you want me to stop or just slow down?”

Dumb Ass

Two soldiers are rustling through the deep jungles somewhere in the pacific. It is hot, arid, and the vegetation is so thick it looked like a scene from a Vietnam war movie. They are looking to make some money hunting for a couple of rebels. “How much is the reward again?” the slightly dumb soldier asks his smarter companion.” “If I’m not mistaken, some of them go for a 100 grand a head!” “Wow!” the dumb soldier is in awe. “Wait, are you sure there are rebels here?” he pesters his partner to be sure. “Of course there are. I’ve checked our map and I’m quite sure the rebel camp is near here,” assures the smarter soldier. “Okay, let’s set up camp here and ambush the rebels in the morning,” the smart one adds. Soon they fall asleep. To their misfortune, the rebels—20 of them—spot the soldiers. They surround the soldiers and poke their guns at them to wake them up. The dumb soldier wakes up and is shocked. He wakes up the smart soldier. “Wake up, man! We’re rich! We’re rich!”