Guy goes into a bar.......
This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place, and he takes a seat at the bar.
"This is a nice place. I've never been here before," he says to the guy next to him.
"Oh, really?" the other replies. "It is a nice place. It's also a very special bar."
"Why is that?" the first guy asks. "Well, do you see that painting on the far wall? That's an original Van Gogh, and this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic."
"Gee, that's amazing!" says the first guy.
"Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you'll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up."
"No way! That's impossible," the guy scoffs.
"Not at all. Take a look," the other man replies, and with that he walks over to the window and opens it. He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40...50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh -- he comes right back up and sails back through the window. "See? It's fun. You should try it," he says.
"Try it? I don't even believe I saw it!" the first man shouts.
"It's easy. Watch, I'll do it again." And with that, he falls out the window again. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh -- he comes right back up and sails back through the window. "Give it a try. It's a blast," he says.
"Well, what the heck, I'll give it a try," the first man says, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10... 20... 30... 40... 50...60...70...80...90... 100 feet and splat -- he ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk.
After watching this, the second guy casually closes the window, heads back to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender arrives with the drink and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
Read more: http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=37#ixzz12JXWr7Id
This woman is sitting in a bar, wearing a tube top. She has never shaved her armpits in her entire life, so as a result, she has a thick black bush under each arm. Every 20 minutes, she raises her arm up and flags the bartender for another drink. This goes on all night. The other people in the bar see her hairy pits every time she raises her arm. Near the end of the night, this drunk at the end of the bar says to the bartender, "Hey, I'd like to buy the ballerina a drink". The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" The drunk says, "Any girl that can lift her leg that high has to be a ballerina!"
Britexpat took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Brit. "I want to get weighed," said Kim. They ambled over to the 'weight guessed'. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Brit again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'weight guessed' they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Brit won a prize. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Brit figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
A Texan walks into a bar and orders a drink.
"Got any ID?" asks the bartender.
The Texan replies, "About what?"
A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
WK went into a shop at teh pet souq and said - "Can I buy a goldfish?"
The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?"
WK said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
So A guy walks into a bar..
Ouch.....
Chocoholic was invited to dinner with her boss and his wife
The lady said , "How many potatoes would you like ?".
Chocoholic said, "Ooh, I'll just have one please".
The lady said "It's OK, you don?t have to be polite"
"Alright" said Chocoholic , "I'll just have one then, you stupid cow"
LincolnPirate walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
"What do you call that?", asks the bartender.
"I call him Tiny, because he's my newt!"
LincolnPirate walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a martinus."
The bartender says - "Don't you mean martini?"
LP says - "Listen, if I wanted two or more drinks I would have asked for them."
LOL Brit...I'd love to be able to do the splits :-(
LOL!!!
lol
Snessy phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach her how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
She said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
ya read just last week, but still makes laugh!!
LOL thanks for the weekend laugh.. :)
:)) quite funny...
:0 lol
leave it flor, it's funny made me laugh LOL :)
let me check.....
Even Superman becomes nasty on QL...
lol..:)
Reminds me of the joke....'why is your saree whiter than mine'... one has to listen to it till eternity...:)
Ha ha! Love it...
Lol Lost marbeles..
brrrr