Golf

The best Caddy replies...

# 9
Golfer "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
# 8
Golfer "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy "Yes, sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
# 7
Golfer "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy "Eventually."
# 6
Golfer "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy "I don't think so, sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
# 5
Golfer "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of
a distraction."
Caddy "It's not a watch--it's a compass."
# 4
Golfer "How do you like my game?"
Caddy "Very good, sir. But personally, I prefer golf."
# 3
Golfer "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
# 2
Golfer "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy "This isn't the golf course. We left that behind an hour ago."
# 1
Golfer "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy "Think you can keep your head down that long?"