A Blonde's revenge (for brit)
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'
'Just three questions' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked the blonde.
'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'
So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).
The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'
'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'
The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'
St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.
'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'
'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'
'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'
St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.
A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'
'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.'
And the blonde entered Heaven...
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What's worse I bet you are now singing it to yourself!!!!!! (for those that know it)
I also have heard so many versions of waltzing matilda, but none says the name of the jolly swag man!
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This is not true, no blonde would take revenge against brit. If it was a chinese doll then I believe you!!!
February is the second month so there r 25 seconds
I have heard so many versions of Waltzing Matilda, but none says the name of the jolly swagman!
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for
the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of
security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan,the transaction is completed, and the blonde leaves.
When she is gone, the bank's president and other
officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the
Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks
it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000
plus the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says,
'Madam, we are very happy to have had your business, and this
transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little
puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is
why you would bother to borrow $5,000.'
The blond replies.....'Where else in New York City can I
park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect
it to be there when I return?'
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Sandeepkadian wrote:
"Wat about twenty second January, twenty second February and so on.. Should be 24 seconds for second answer"
It looks like we have a second blond
Wat about twenty second January, twenty second February and so on.. Should be 24 seconds for second answer. St. Peter was having an off day I guess.
" when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that @&%$%^$$#&!!!!"