What really can make ur partner happy...
By robherr soft •
A lot of couples does not have a happy ending.. In Europe and in the US divorce rates are ranging from 42% to 55%. Quite alarming.. Around the world there are a lot of separations which is not in the statistics..Some are still in relationship but are suffering and not happy anymore both women or men for some reasons. So sometimes i wonder...What really can make ur partner happy? Or is it high time that many must realize that it is not all about happiness..
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these three things co-exist, one missing...it will be a lot of effort for the couple's relationship to work.
Sum total of the 3? its called intimacy.
I would say its just 'honest love' and not just love where you tell hundred times in a day 'I love you' and as soon as the partner turns back (she/he is not with you at that particular moment arranged by you and typically in Qatar situation, is in the home country due kids have vacations or for business ), you are enjoying with other women/men. All other things, fidelity, respect, consideration, trust etc are all offshoots of an 'honest love'.
Love, respect and honesty? FAiry tale
HAhahaha! gracia u see we r trying to be wholesome here..but seriously sex can also be summed up to make us feel important right..Btw, u can have it without love or relationship.. sorry i disagree partly with u. ANd i dont want to discuss it further bcoz i just think this is not the right forum. It's a never ending topic better to discuss it with a bottle of cuervo gold with orange slices & iodize salt on the side.
Fatima Absolutely correct! Love, respect & honesty. Which of the three is the most important? And why?
Good points Fathima...these are some of the basic rules for a successful marriage.
However,in a civilised society, I bet each married man or women on the planet knows how he/she should behave within a marriage/relationship based on what he imbibes from parents and the society...even then there is so much aloofness, dissapointment and heartbreak in many marriages. Also, if the relationship is not bound by marriage, it is even more fragile. People would just say, "it didn't work out" after living together for some years.
Why does it happen?
It would be: 1)Love
2)Honesty and fidelity
3)Respect and consideration
But in truth there is so much more to marriage and long term commitments than just three elements alone. And for sure what I would consider as essential and totally uncompromising matters in a marriage would far defer from another's view.
treat ur girl everyday the same as you used to do when u where in the process of getting her :)
Thanks Fatima & azilana..actually wanna ask u both about the 3 important elements of relationship. Do u know what r they?
Yes absolutely right..respect or the lack of it is by far one aspect that can truly make or break any relationship in life including marriage.
I guess it is good for me to retire to my bed finally. I know we parted in peace, yet the skirmish of wits between us had no yet reached its logical end. Now, we can not fight as equals. You have completed you restful night's sleep. And I have been working with my patients since yesterday morning without sleeping for a moment. :)
post edited...thanks again. :)
Ok... me back to work..cheers.
to look outside the nest for variety.
Like I said, if the husband looks for variety,he doesn't love his wife enough to remain monogamous. And for a woman to find out that her partner went out to chuck someone else...THAT would be horrible.
Marriage is A COMMITMENT...making a marriage work is an effort, and if one loves his/her partner to be happy, he/she won't do looking for variety.
I've been through relationships that kept me all broken up and distrustful of men.
That is the same reason why I preferred long engagement. I am sure to myself that when I married my husband, I made a vow to be faithful, honest and trustworthy of his love and his name. And I expect him to give me that dedication as well.
Ok, rant over.
Fatima u have good point there..maybe u wanna add "respect" also.
Segmund i cant agree more.. Very true.
Azi this is what u have just stated above: "I am sure to myself that when I married my husband, I made a vow 'not' to be faithful, honest and trustworthy of his love and his name. And I expect him to give me that dedication as well."
but it layman's term...if one didn't learn from his/her past experiences to make him/her a better person...THAT IS LIFE...
Past stands in a meaningful way to our present--- always. It is funny to see how our behavior as human beings is shaped by our past experiences. We as humans do not have enough capacity to think outside our own experience.
Ask anyone anything about anything. And they would first look at it through the lens of their own past, and then give an opinion purely formulated in accordance with that past.
A person who happens to have a relation marked by integrity, honesty, loyalty and trust would only speak to you of happiness, trust, satisfaction and so forth. The person who had not been lucky to find these virtues in his or her own love life, would keep on talking about suspicion, infidelity and so forth.
No one size fits all..it would all depend from person to person and marriage to marriage. Generally though love, consideration, trust and keeping things interesting and lighthearted whenever possible go a long way!
What leads to commitment and fulfilment?
commitment and fulfilness leads to happiness..
Knight good point there.. For me it is not variety as women..variety more on doing other things than the usual including some space once in a while..Possesiveness is i think a common denominator for women. SO if a man does not know to handle this complications they are headed for worst.
brit, yes it could in some cases...so the original question remains unanswered. As I said earlier, in my first post..
"The 'likes' could be as divergent or conflicting as anything..which actually makes it a bit tricky...:)
In this case its certainly a conflict of interest..on the one hand people tend to be possessive and on the other, they need variety.
The same could apply to women also...
Azilana, I agree with you that if a man still looks for variety, he shouldn't have married at all...but the fact is, he feels this need only after a good number of years after marriage. If men could realise this before marriage, I am sure men wouldn't marry at all.
Get a life, haha. trust me friend life has nothing to do with partners
useless comment.. Get a life! u faggot..
useless topic....
i think honesty and loyalty does wonders and if doesen't, nothis else will!
Thanks.
My marriage works because we live every day as of it's our last and every night as if it's our first.
@ moza err..segmund ;).. nice one..Amen.
vow! :P
Gracia really i did convince u ?... nice.. it's always a pleasure to me when i am able to give some people hope for their lives let alone in love.. U know what..u seem a sweet lady and a smart one. Maybe just maybe those past 2 men in ur life were just did not know how to handle u properly. Courtship is a never ending thing for a man.. I think when they found out that u love them then they stopped courting u anymore which is not the case when u truly love a person no matter what. Who knows the next man for u is just around the corner ;)
Gracia really i did convince u ?... nice.. it's always a pleasure to me when i am able to give some people hope for their lives let alone in love.. U know what..u seem a sweet lady and a smart one. Maybe just maybe those past 2 men in ur life were just did not know how to handle u properly. Courtship is a never ending thing for a man.. I think when they found out that u love them then they stopped courting u anymore which is not the case when u truly love a person no matter what. Who knows the next man for u is just around the corner ;)
Gracia really i did convince u... nice.. it's always a pleasure to me when i am able to give some people hope for their lives let alone in love.. U know what..u seem a sweet lady and a smart one. Maybe just maybe those past 2 men in ur life were just did not know how to handle u properly. Courtship is a never ending thing for a man.. I think when they found out that u love them then they stopped courting u anymore which is not the case when u truly love a person no matter what. Who knows the next man for u is just around the corner ;)
Happiness is such a transient feeling. Most of us humans strive to attain permanence in happiness. They fail to realize that our mood is like the weather. Sometimes, it is cloudy, at other times it is sunny. Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it just is gloomy and dark. You can not expect the weather to remain the same through all times. It does and it should change.
We tend to lose sight of this fact. All our lives, we toil day and night, so we may achieve perfect and everlasting happiness. But we do not realize that there is just no such thing as perfect happiness. Life is a string of situations. Some situations tend to make us happy and some sad. That is as simple as that.
We must not forget the here and now. It is our current condition which we must tend to. We should cherish the small happinesses rather than gloomily wasting a lifetime for big things to happen. Small things such as smiling to someone and being smiled back at are enough to cause a momentary sense of happiness. We should avail ourselves fully of such occasions. Life is short, let us not waste it in waiting and worrying.
nowadays people get bored easily and they forgot what happiness means... :(
ohhh really.. lol. you convinced me, I might try.. , the search is not over. Loving someone no matter what sounds so romantic for me so I guess I have slim chances.
sounds funny but I think it's true.. All relationships are good at the beginning only. Staying on it for so long makes it a routine. Imagine being with someone 24/7... BORING... Might be nice to have someone you see once a month or twice a year. You might not even have a fight in a lifetime being together
Gracia Separated 2 times? hmmm... Maybe u have not seen the man that will really makes u happy and will love u no matter what. Any plans of trying again? As they say 3rd time is a charm. ;)
I am separated for two times, I tried but i guess I am unfit for marriage life. Marriage is a trial and error, if its error why stay. If the marriage turned to be unhappy, why not find a way out. I pity women who stay married and pretend to be happy but trapped in an unhappy marriage. Life is supposed to be fun. Staying in an unhappy marriage is like committing a crime against yourself. If setting someone free makes your partner happy, then do it. It would be unfair on your part to be be with someone who is with you just because he/ she does n't have a choice.
the answer to the question: "what really can make ur partner happy?" lies in the question itself!
every person should definetly do all permissible things under the sun in order to make one's spouse happy!
however as segmund correctly pointed out that
"One very surprising finding is that educational level among women is directly proporation to divorce rate. Yet, in terms of financial and social stability women are more at loss with this increase."
it is indeed surprising! the role of a women was previously related to her home, and nourishing her family life with love and care. While that of the man was to fend for his family's livelihood and protection.
however the society is now a totally different scenerio with role reversal that has happened in the past decades.
When we care less for our comfort and luxuries and care for the sentiments of our spouse, believe me the house would be nothing short of a paradise!
dont we remember how happy we used to be as children wen we saw our mommy and daddy so much in love with each other , and compare those with the dreaded days when they used to fight !
Also in todays society extramarital relationships owing to the unhindered intermingling of genders has rocked many a blissful relationships to pieces. There is no security in todays so called modern society, one night stands, office romance, obscenity, guilt free sex.... the list is endless. besides other factors like crazy lifestyle, busy husbands, busy wives, wayward spending etc.
anyway it is righty related from the prophet muhammad (pbuh) the most hateful thing to God Almighty is Divorce.
And the most beloved evil deed to the satan of all evils is the separation of husband and wife!
Conciouseffort...respecting her privacy? seriously? Like what?
Azilana.. i agree with u that if a man still looks for variety he should not get married yet..same goes for the women..
Yes, but that's the reality in life...
Hahahaha! mylegal so funny what u have said..
You cannot make your partner happy, if you are being surrounded and tempted by the wrong one... And the wrong one are soooooo tempting...
In 2003, when I was a junior medical student, once when I handed a few articles of mine for publication in the college magazine the guy told me he wont publish my stuff as it 'appeared' to be copied from the internet. When I reminded him what low tastes he had got to consider my amateur writing so hi-fi, he became angry and did not publish a single thing. From the next year on, I was the chief editor of the magazine for several years.
Once one of our professors, himself a Harvard graduate and with a PhD in English, remarked to another professor. This guy writes really good English. And the other professor asked how good. And he replied, "More than you can imagine!"
I really do not find what I write that good. I swear by the God who created me. I know I can write correctly and may be better than several people (I have the highest score on IELTS), but I still do not think I am too good to be believe.
Anyways, you are not the first one to tell me that I copied and pasted. May be you are not even the hundredth.
at least provide a link...or else its plagiarism.
Spousal relation like any other interpersonal relationship depends on a multitude of factors. These factors are so diverse that the integrity of the relation or a discord in it may be the result of rather different factors in different cases.
It is impossible for any single discourse such as ours to encompass all the aspects of this complicated topic. There is not even consensus on which factors carry more weight than others.
Several research studies have been conducted to understand the factors underlying familial stability and discord. It appears that having a comparable background in terms of socioeconomic status, educational level, intellectual capacity and so forth has a very favorable effect on the long terms prospects of spousal relation stability. On the other hand, having stark difference in these areas often lead to problems. Exceptions are, however, always there.
One very surprising finding is that educational level among women is directly proporation to divorce rate. Yet, in terms of financial and social stability women are more at loss with this increase.
Another consideration to factor in is the set of expectations that each spouse brings to a relation. Obviously, if the expectations tied to the relation are later on not fulfilled, it would create frustration on part of the spouse.
The importance of having a harmonious intimate life in keeping a relation stable need not be further emphasized. To this end, the physical as well as psychological well being of either spouse plays a very important role. Having a chronic illness, particularly a psychological one and or substance related problems significantly enhances the odds of a family falling apart.
Tolerance level within the spouses, the extent to which either spouse can compromise and the availability of options are other crucial factors that play a role.
It must be emphasized some relations still end in discord even with the apparent absence of the negative factors. The converse is equally true.
he shouldn't have married at all...which is UNFAIR for the wife.
Marriage is a life time commitment...
Come to think of it, 90% of the comments on this topic thread are single :)
from women's point of view:
* respecting her / her feelings / her parents & ppl related to her
* respecting her privacy
* taking responsibility towards ur wife n kids
This is what I was thought ,
Marriage is an institution of compromise , if one gets angry the other needs to be quite , and when every thing is over I am sure she or he will love you the same way .
On the fun side .
Try weakly
Tri weekly
Try weekly
It's three times a weak
Then it's one time a weak
And the third is you r done with sex so try week ly
What exactly does intimacy entail ?
The problem is nowadays everyone likes fruit salad.
Azilana, Intimacy may be the spice of a married life but the problem is,many men feel, variety is the spice of life itself..
Dear - I bought a lottery ticket for 10 Riyal and won one million Riyal
OK, but from where you got this 10 Riyal
and this is not for one but for both partners.
And of course, the spice of married life: intimacy :)
How about instead telling us what makes guys like you happy. Well they say your partner is never really happy or satisfid or atleast pretends that she never is
tcom yeah it's a dream but not a heaven really.. That is the wrong expectations everybody is having. Being married is not a heaven.. it is that u face the reality of life.All the things u never expected good or bad.
Ha ha Flan good answer.
BUT
Getting married and going to Haven is everybody's dream
Its simple..one has to know what his/her partner likes and then try to give it to her/him.
The 'likes' could be as divergent or conflicting as anything..which actually makes it a bit tricky...:)
may be new partner give him/her happiness.lol
& not being Over Possessive... Give each other the space...
well im not happy if i eat burger everyday, and its not good to my health:)..j/k
.
serious note: trusting each other, both will be happy:)
Its like " Damned if you do, Damned if you don't "...
Mashahir..haha u have a point there man.
goodname..what if all u r saying does not happen? Is a separation a consideration?
It's fun overall.
Nothing can make happy your partner, if you'll bring the star for her she will angry that why you have not carried her along with you or why you've brought only one star.
Simple.....don't get married. Life shouldn't be governed by social norms.
different persons have different habits,u check whats yours partner need thats enough to make her happy.
if she loves truly,it means you;re lucky,if only like you,sound you'll be chnged.lol
There is matter of giving and taking, find for each other what makes your other half happy, and yes marriage is about, happiness, love, comfort and passion. If it's not then there is no point of getting married or being married.
A married couple completes each other, fills ech others need, comforts each other, makes each other happy.
And sometimes giving up something for your partners happiness gives more joy and a happier marriage.
Global...ohhh pleaseee... That leads me to my next question.. why r gurls so active when in malls doing shopping.. But in house or other events so lazy...cant even walk a meter..
Brit seriously? lol.. Being away with ur partner makes her happy..Hmmm..sounds intriguing.
shopping.....
Me baing here makes her happy :O(
No Soloution Bro :D
Google still searching to find out but ............ Pending.