Leaving Qatar due to Family reasons

Dude - Think twice in a constructive way before you act. Nothing remains unresolved. Talk to your wife, if she isn't good mood, hang up the situation couple of days. Take her outing as much as you can. I know you'll be stressed from you work. Describe her your plans and leave her to decide. You can stay in any part of the world, nothing gives peace to your wife as in your home country. My sincere advise.. in this part of this world you can save a lot and settle back. Bring your wife's father & mother here. Let her secure a drivers license if she hasn't, once done get her a car..make a independent way for her.. Trust me.. this will work. Wish you good luck. Think POSITIVE, please don't whine. "You are the master of your thoughts"

cooldude, good luck for ur future....

Thanx Brit Expat

Good Luck... Hope things work out for you....

yes soniya i haver esign from the company as for my career there is less scope here and there is lot of politics going on and iam on notice period, iam going to Australia from here the salary is good but its very expensive but as fro it is concern my family is happy which i feel matters most to me for now .

Real hard-working life is short say between (25-45) then capitalise on what you have LEARNED and experienced during those period.

Enjoy after 40; spending quality Life with Family and Friends.

So finally u've decided to leave QATAR???

it is verry nice advice from u which my wife also thinks the same way as she always say to me the same thing when r u going to enjoy if just work

Soniya.....you are more practical than emotional :)

War between heart and brain continues and nobody could finally say who is right!

kadavsk, i am sure OP's wife would have demanded to allow her to stay either with her parents or his parents..And not alone...:)

Anyways, i know i am very different from others..My thinking never gets matched with other women..

I think from my MIND instead of HEART in such cases..

ma advice... let her go visit her homeland frm time to time.... it can get extreamly boring here.... or another option wld be to find her a job here... Quiting Qatar will nt b such a good idea..

No doubt Qatar is a boring place for...Mumbaites!

I luv Qatar Living for the Great and Balanced opinions

(Drmana, Happy, QS, Soniya and above all Brit)

I know several people who left GCC for family or personal reasons such as old parents back home, kids grown up and made enough targeted money to start some business back home, wife or children medical sickness, etc, etc.

However Boredom can't be the only reason for leaving a country, where one could make a fortune especially for lower/middle class familiies from India

Check properly, what exactly your wife misses, be with her and understand her feelings. Increase your social network, go out for movies, plays or short picnics / long drive. Encourage her to get driving license, pick up a part time job and join certain social group membership (like Indian Cultural Centre or Indian Women Assoication). Hope she will be fine with time.

The general Rule of LIFE is "No Pains No Gains"

Peace

My husband's very good friend left for India lst month.He was working with a good builder company at a very good job and earning almost double than my husband.He got married 2 years back only and his wife was here for the one and a half year.She was having one elder sister alongwith a perfect set of parents in GOa.Initially everything was ok with them.But later on I started getting frequent calls from her and she told me that her elder sister's husband is government clerk in Panjim.She was very much linked her sister and every day her elder sister use to tell her that they had been to beach they had been to some birthday party of this relative or dinner at that relative.Her elder sister also tried a lot for getting ajob for her government clerk husband but after a while nothing happened and she created a whole scene with this couple like the wife was on high point of anger towards the husband for leaving the county.They are finally back to Goa but still her husband is not able to find a good job and he is at home only.

Think properly before leaving Doha.Try to explain the financiall benefits to your wife.Money is a must now a days if you are not a son of ambani or tata.

Balance Life amd Work

On your initial post I commented.

I feel,if wife is not happy, it is not at all advisable to leave her alone with small baby back home just for the sake of money. If someone does, he is not father but a financier.

There are 100 million people in India. Are they not staying with the family and happy too? Does money alone bring happiness and there is no place for emotions?

I also don't agree that opportunity knock only once. This is applicable to the people who have no potential or confidence in their ability.

I agree totally.

My point was that it should be a decision made together. For the benefit of both.

brit,the way I see it is like this. If one is a "housewife" hence does not go to work, one has to make certain sacrifices, and those may include some time alone.

Apparently it was at some point decided to go to Qatar for work and money. So, here it is....why complain now?

On the other hand, if both want to go home, fine, do that then.

But the way I look at it, I can't complain about my husband working a lot (which indeed he does)if it is HE who brings home the bacon.

In the end it is a decision that needs to be made together...but if it is the wife's boredom that forces a decision, sorry, for me that is totally wrong.

But we all have different priorities.

Amazing how people are so convinced that the wife is wrong here.

What works for you, may not work for me. Just because I put up with circumstances for the sake of money, doesn't mean you should.

We are all different. We all have different needs and wants.

We constantly hear about equality and caring and listening to each other. Yet most are saying that the woman should put up with things for the sake of her husband ... Strange :O)

Also while calculating salary difference... the amount one pays as house rent can be deducted from the salary earned here....as one doesnt have to pay the rent back home..... and even if one is paying rent it wont be so much.

The cost of supporting ones family here is too high as compared to back home.... especially the school fees....

The kids back home are more competitive in studies and extracurricular activities....

exactly No mercy..I got many friends who get back home at 10 anf 11 pm, the wives do complain too, but then , they move on and gota live with it untill they find a better assignment.

Isn't it normal that the husband is busy with work during the day? I did not realize that this is a problem for some wives....

QS well said.

I was thinking of those mass who couldnt bring in their family and work live here alone. Grow up, find out the routecause and theres no problems which has no solution.

Exactly my thoughts QATARISUN...

Even I want my MAN to work rather than sitting infront of me for whole day...

In such cases, WOMEN should be strong enough to understand her husband's nature of work..If she can't cope up with it, better stay with the NEAR and DEAR ones and keep on gossiping about others..:D

Some women are desperate to be with their PARENTS or rather say they can mingle well with the people back to her home country than getting accquainted in a foreign land...Problem lies in SUCH TYPE OF WOMAN than MAN..

kadavsk, can u plz rephrase your sentence??

I will go with what drmana has said and while looking for a job in India following points may be worth considering, which I say based on my interaction with a few collegues who were planning a move back to India or did move back:

- Do not compare the bottomline salary figure that you get here. Many a times people get carried away by that. Work out the expenses, more specifically the housing vis-a-vis the earnings.

- While deciding on the salary of the new job do not ever feel what others would think as to why you took a lower paying (bottomline figure) job per se...its not and moreover its none of anybodys business.

- Even a bit of lesser salary should not bother you, if that would make your wife happy and in turn you, yourself. After all its your family and if they are not happy, none of your efforts are worth it.

- It is a misnomer that with more money you will have a better life...because the question you should ask, when is that you are going to enjoy that money and with whom. From what you have stated I feel it aint helping you in that. It is always very nice to see your bank balance climbing and material possessions coming in... but end of the day if the ones who should enjoy them do not enjoy them including you, its not worth it.

- Last but not the least, take opinions from everyone... but be discerning enough to take only that what would suit you and your family because many would be very appealing but may not suit your circumstances... individuals have different lifestyles, likes & dislikes, circumstances and so the opinions... you need to take what would be best for you and your family to be happy. Talking of your personal aspirations and happiness of the family, trust me you can always work out a way where both can be achieved...just have to think a bit harder and clearer thats all.

All the best.

I think the wife should understand that you have to work extra time to support her and your baby. I doubt she will be happier if you guys went back home and you couldn't find any job there. She will be nagging even more... Let her get busy with something. She has to understand that you dont' have to sit beside her days and nights. She doesn't have to see you 24/7. Some women don't have any husband at all, and no one has died because of that.

I prefer to have a man who is busy doing a business, or probably works extra hours to support me and my child, rather than the one who is lying on the couch entire evening. that would be really bothering me a lot..

Yeah Prince...and who wouldn't want to look like one of the desperate housewives...bagsy Eva!!!

Dear cooldude why dont you let your wife to Qling. Qling is the best way and best thing for alone and deseprate house wive who dont have proper attention and time from their husband.check all and every thread all are full of housewive who dont have work ..they jump here on every thread and be first to comment and every post and have time to fight with all qlers.

Not everybody is the same..

Some can cope. Others can't..

I have seen women get depressed which in turn leads to problems with the relationship.

soniya u right , but there is no meaning for life. what you mean by life? i know your answr "when we sacrifies something then we earn something" but this theory not suitable for her situation.i saw same befor. let her go back if she not ready to encage with any work. i am sure after leaving she willbe thing to come back. guaranteee

Thank for valuable and firm advice. Soniyaji thinks father or husband is financier.

Nothing compensates for family life...not even money. If wife is not happy, you won't be happy and family won't be happy, is it worth it?

If possible, try to encourage your wife to socialise or find some activities for her to participate during day time. If it still doesn't help, time for serious thinking....

His wife should also understand her husband's priorities..I am really sorry for her that OP's wife can't think for other constructive works which could keep her busy..

If the OP's choice of JOB requires FIELD WORK mostly, he would be doing same evenif he will choose to go back to his home country..so what his wife will do then???

I know many wives in DOHA whose husbands work for 12hr straight work with Q companies but still managing with their loneliness and quite happy with it cos their husbands are having high salary...

Anyways, it's OP's life..he should sort out with his wife alone..we can just give him a pinch of advise..

I thing your wife fed-up with lonely when you were in job.it is not only for ur wife but also many of them who sit alone (job seekers also, but some different).

as per as i am concern, there are some ways follows

1. let her to get a job, must be consider her satisfaction.

2. if previous life CIRCUMSTANCEs caused, its difficult to maintain. take many times for accept present.but in ur case it is not possible, so better to go back and you can stay here till fed-up with alone.

3. if you have a good financial background you should go back from this slave (we all are slave, its my concept),"A TIME ONLY ONE TIME, COULD NOT GET BACK. TIME NEVER WAIT FOR US, WE MIGHTBE WAIT FOR TIME."

forgive to me if any mistakes

rightly said britexpat!!!

Your life is split between work and family.

Unhappiness in one can cause issues in the other.

Money is not the be all and the end all in life. Sit down with your wife. discuss it and decide.

Good luck :O)

guys!!! we all stay away take all those pains just to earn and keep our family happy and enjoying...............this is true for married as well as bachelors.....................bachelors work to save their earning for future planning...............apart current engagements.............more importantly what matters the most is ur family...........................they comes first than ur job be whatsoever be the salary..........................if u think ur wife is undergoing stress for being alone most of the time........................than better do what she says.......................in the end what matters for u is that charming smile on her face......................that is what should be your good salary and better future......................hope u got that buddy......................@@@smile tickles life

Oh yeah,being a mumbayite too, i can understand the problem..it gives me a goosebumps too when i think for long distance JOB in mumbai with half of the hours goes mostly on travelling..

This is the reason too why we prefer to work here rather than shifting back to mumbai..

I tried to convince her but no luck soniya and starting a new job that too in mumbai makes me feel nervous as bcoz of the travelling conditions

may god help me but thanx anyway i really appreciate u and all others for helping me out.

Frankly speaking, if i would have been at the place of your wife, i would have allowed my husband to stay back if the JOB would have been really good where he could show his skills and better chances for our and his future...:))

Tell your wife not to loosen her hope like this..Home is where HUSBAND and WIFE stays together..tell her to get involve in some activities like enrolling herself in some classes of her interest/hobbies..Kids demand too much attention..I am surprised why she is getting bored here then??

Yes at my job chances of promotion is less and job recognition is not good but as soniya said opputunity knocks only once to the door thought makes me re think for the same.

But you are unhappy in your job...because of lack of recognition....

If your wife is ready with your decision that let her and the baby to send back to the home country and you remain here for work, well and good..

There are many like you in DOHA who are staying alone without having any family support..Just to have a secure future bank balance..If your job is really demanding and there is a cope of your better promotion, think twice..Oppotunity knocks only once to the door..

i had problem during posting it is by mistake being 3 times sorry for that

That's your personal problem. Our opinion doesn't matter. Discuss with your wife about all the pros and cons of staying here and decide.

My personal view: If one is not happy here, extra money should not be the reason for staying here.