infedility
greetings!
i would like to ask how can i protect my marriage from infedility?
my husband recently admitted that he is having an affair with a single woman. however due to the guilt he felt he decided to stop the affair but the woman keeps on begging him not to leave her she further said that she is willing to be his concubine.
is there any laws that prohibit that act? is there anything i can do to that woman? im in the philippines and both of them are in qatar. i really want to save our marriage and i dont want to loose my husband and the father of my children.
please help me what to do to stop that woman. thank you and more power.
your man is hard wired to cheat and it has nothing to do with the woman he's cheating with - totally his responsibility. She may have lower standards for having an affair with a married man but he is the owner of the choice. I would recommend taking him for every dime he has and kicking his sorry behind to the curb but that would be my way of dealing with such a disrespectful j/a**. You could give him another chance and maybe a few other chances as the years go by but you may have to be prepared for wondering where he is and what he's doing for the rest of your life, along with checking his pockets, monitoring his mobile calls and email messages, etc. It's a very tough choice but I do agree with whoever wrote you need to be in the same place if you want to work it out.
I'm truly sorry to hear this. I would recommend to please talk it over, over and over, with the husband. "A broken family doesn't always fix things or make it better, specially with kids involved." I do not know your current situation in the philippines but please be smart about this.
When there are kids involved, and as we get older, there are just certain mistakes in life that we can't afford to make anymore. The children always looses, ultimately.
Be strong, It is not for me to say that you'll be fine, however, this will eventually pass. My heart goes to you Mam. I do hope your husband has changed. Take care.
Loved qatarisun advices..seriusly think carefully!! You need to make a consious choice here...
i really liked what you have said...she's a b***h and im not! hehehe!
of course in this particular case it's hard to say what she should do.. we are not aware of the situation.. first of all whether the guy wants to re-unite with his wife or not?... second, what does the woman want? does she want him back or not..
but again, speaking generally.. if it's just a mistake, and the guy doesn't have an intention to ruin his family, and would appology, i would definitely give him another chance..
"A responsible husband and father who is true to his wife will never get attracted to such temptations."
..of course he will, FS..
they DID, they DO, and they WILL DO..
...and it has nothing to do with being irresponsible, or being unfair, or being unloving, or being unlovable, or being a devil or evil.. or whatever.. it is just a NATURE of man..
I can't comment on what the poster should do as I don't know the whole story. But the only way I would consider moving forward with my relationship with my husband would be if he came back home or if I moved there. You can't work through this thousands of kilometres apart.
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I dont agree with you justifing a totally ireesponsible husband who is lookin to get laid by a B****H.
A responsible husband and father who is true to his wife will never get attracted to such temptations.
Surely If an irresponsible woman gets laid by a married man, then the married man is also responsible. He should think with his head and not his pecker..
I hope you never have to face such a dilema, but what you're saying also applies to women who are abused or cheated on.
sure i would give him another chance, specially if he would ask me for... sometimes this option is not given at all.. sometimes husband just comes to his wife and informs her that he met another woman, and he leaves the family, and he does it like a gentleman ( also happens!!).. but if the guy just got involved with somebody for a while, and then he realized that he is wrong, and he wants to stay with his family, I would definitely give him this chance. No doubts. And it’s not about to be afraid of facing the future.. It is about HOW do we look at the affair in general, it is about how much do I care about my kids, it is about my entire life's concept. I came to conclusion that affair, specially physical one, specially a single or a short-termed, specially when it comes from the man’s side is NOT really affair at all.. some of the guys even don’t consider it as affair by themselves! IF it doesn’t affect the Family in any possible way, if the guy still loves his wife and his kids, if he is caring husband and loving Dad.. so.. what if some irresponsible woman wants to get laid (SORRY!!!!) by a MARRIED MAN.. it is HER problem... why i have to ruin my entire life because of some B***H??? excuse me..
B**HS are coming and going..
WIFE (the real one!) stays.
Infidelity is perhaps the hardest and most hurtful thing that a couple will ever go through. Often the word infidelity and adultery are interchanged and most people when they hear those words immediately think that it means that one of the partners in the relationship had an affair with someoneelse.
What many people fail to remember is that infidelity is more than sex, it is an intimate relationship of any type with another person outside of the relationship. This includes the new friend of the opposite sex that you or your partner is spending quality time with talking about personal things etc. It is the surfing on the internet for adult chat rooms and adult sites and dating sites. Infidelity is the breach of trust that a committed couple shares.
It is very clear that something was lacking in your relation. Disclosing his affair does not make him a saint. They will always have the tendency to stray. If you really want him, give him a chance. No law can prevent that lady from your husband. HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD PUT A FULL STOP TO IT.
leave the guy! he doesn't respect you, clean out his money and go somewhere with the kids and when you see him again kick him in the nuts until it falls off!
What would you do if you were in a similar situation?
Would you give him another chance for the sake of the kids and because you are afraid of facing the future?
That future would involve constantly wondering if he's still cheating or likely to cheat.
Trust can be re-built, and love can be revived, and feelings can be revitalized.. even it might happen that the husband will appreciate one day her reaction, and he will be more grateful that she gave him this chance to stay with his family, with his kids.
But the woman should really act wise now...if she wants to win him back...
Very Well SAID
qatarisun said it just proves my theory: ...
it just proves my theory: all or almost all - at least those who has any chance!-are cheating..
..now, it depends on what result you want to get..
1.if you want to take revenge, report them and they will get punished, as Gypsy said
2.if you want,just dump him as SN said
3.if you want him to leave this woman and to come back to you, you have to choose more diplomatic way.. that’s what I say
*The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love..*
britexpat, it's very easy to jump into conclusions..Life is long and complicated thing.. you cannot see everything only in black and white.. there are so many colors and shadows in between…
now tell me: WHO doesn’t make mistakes?
Just imagine.. she dumped this her husband (the FATHER of her children, btw).. now.. she has two ways for her further life: either to rise these kids alone, which is pretty hard.. or to get married again… can you guarantee that her next husband won’t do the same?? I CAN NOT!! So SHOULD SHE “DUMP” him again??? And so on??.. until she meet someone who won’t cheat .. most likely it will happen in her late 70s-80s, when she meets the man of the same age, who CANNOT cheat already ,even though he STILL doesn’t mind to!!...
Family is not only about to catch who had an affair and who had not.. this is much wider and deeper relationship and much stronger bones than that…
u can seek help from ur in-laws to talk to ur husband becoz u said u want to save d marriage for d sake of ur children.
if u have exhausted all your efforts and still ur husband do not stop cheating. it is not ur fault, it is all his... and maybe someday there will be a miracle and he will leave this girl.
if ur children are grown up already (18 above) u can try to tell them ur burden. maybe dey cud help ur husband to stop cheating. i know he will not be able to handle that. i know someone did that and save the marriage. if not atleast the mom was understood by her children and they got closer.
please avoid to use bad words...or this will happen as below
Not really values. I just know from experience that it's not always as cut and dry as people make it seem. Leopards do change their spots, marriages and relationships do survive and in some cases grow stronger. Love and marriage are not switches you just flick on and off.
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Men think with their dick unfortunately. Use the bricks then he will nor be able to think any more and he will need you to think for him......
Aisha-Taweela
may be a better word, yes like I said people make mistakes, nobody is perfect but I believe if you really and truly love and respect your partner then you wouldn't stray in the first place, for me respect is very important, lose that along with trust and it just isn't going to work.
I couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone, wondering where they are or who they are with etc, not a basis for a good marriage.
Just my opinion, we all differ.
I applaud your values.. There are many men/women out there who feel the same and get trodden on again and again and again.
Hards got nothing to do with it. I just refuse to write someone off for a mistake we are all capable of making.
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maybe I am just harder than you are, yes we all make mistakes but to forgive the transgressions of others is all too often a licence to hurt you again, in my own experience life has taught me that much.
I'd love to be able to say one strike and your out to someone I love, and the father of my children. Unfortunatly I tend to look at people as people and therefore falliable.
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the guy is just making the most of the opportunity, while the cats away as they say.
One strike and your out is my policy.
To me , the circumstances seem pretty much the same for many single expats.. Seen it happen in all countries I've worked..
Come to a foreign land.. Leave behind, GF/BF , Wife/Husband/partner and then meet someone to begin a "casual" relationship.. Usually, this realtionship is meant to last till you go back.
well,i think theres not a lot.of course you can complain against them.but will it bring him back to you?if you do this you have your revenge,thats all.maybe it also will bring them closer to eachothers.i think all you can do is to look for yourself and let time do the work.if it is you he wants and he really loves,he will come back to you.if not...forget him.
Now now guys, we don't know the couple or the circumstances.
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Lets get real.. the guy had an affair, so obviously he doesn't respect her..
I say go with the Bricks... After getting his bank account and PIN numbers.
better seek help from DFA, but the consequence, your husband will be sent home. Are you ready for that?
It's all up to your husband. If he really loves you, he will respect your vows no matter what.
How to Find Your One True Love????? (http://onetruelovenetwork.com/)
it just proves my theory: all or almost all - at least those who has any chance!-are cheating..
..now, it depends on what result you want to get..
1.if you want to take revenge, report them and they will get punished, as Gypsy said
2.if you want,just dump him as SN said
3.if you want him to leave this woman and to come back to you, you have to choose more diplomatic way.. that’s what I say
it is very difficult to regain trust, i tell you.. if you can still accept him inspite of all that he has done, then better ask him to go back to the philippines so that you can settle things and if he comes back here in Qatar i suggest you go with him... Hope things will get better.. God bless..
Hi Gypsy.. it was long time to see the word "LASHES" on the board.
These characters should be starved of sex for a millennium. dump him ASAP
na na na then i prefer a sledge hammer and baaaaaaaam
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Call MOI and report them so they are sentenced to lashes and THEN deported, and THEN dump his azz when he comes crawling back.
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lol, for adulterers the bricks are not enough! I would introduce the rusty blunt scissors and chop anything that hangs well and truly off lol
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Dump him?? na use bricks make him totally useless
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Dump him......
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Go to live with him in Qatar! This is the only way.
when the husband is working away from the wife, men are weak from that side and he coming out and admitting it may be that he is feeling the guilt
I am afraid no way this will easily come to an end as long as he is away ... a vacation is a good idea maybe counesling is anothet option and if it would be possible for the family to be reunited here or there
If not possible, some time the hard decision to quit the job and go back home is the right one
God be with you and if he is honest may God give him strength to end the relation
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
Wake up and smell the roses..
The fault is your husbands and not the "other woman'..
A moment of truth...
Talk to him,
see what trigered him in the first place to have an affair!
Let him come home for a holiday
[ dont think of the cost..Money or Marriage ]
I feel for you both...
Not an easy situation...
You sound as a tough lady...
I do belive all will be well..
God Bless
Math 4 All
this woman obviously has no morals and your husband is telling you only what he wants you to hear am afraid. Chances are, the affair will continue, sad but probably true, after all you are far away and cannot see what is happening here.
Do you really want to stay married to a man like that???