♥ Does ur life revolve around ur husband? ♥

No no no - not at all. why should it????

you mean love is same as becoming crazy???? so i dont wanna be in love then!!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!

simply NO.. you can only love the people you love most, once you loved yourself enough.

well to be honest my life does revolve aruond my husband but in a healthy way... we dont have ne children but we still respect each other for this and we love each other also.i do feel desperate sometimes but i think to have such a good relationship is in itself a blessing from God and iam thankful to Him.

marriage really makes you think how'd you like to define or rather re-define yourself ..wife /mother of the kids /working professional /superwoman....?

changing roles and responsibilities ..phewww...and they said the teen years would be confusing ...

anyhoo ...Aisha its been a while hearing from you on QL ...hope you've been doing well inshallah ...

"crazy about my hubby, I love him to bits, thats why I asked him to get me a job here so I could stay with him. We just missed each far too much"

I knowww..totally get you..

[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]

Im crazy about my hubby, I love him to bits, thats why I asked him to get me a job here so I could stay with him. We just missed each far too much. He is my stronghold, financially I dont need to depend on him all is 50/50, but because im so crazy about him I can say my life does revolve around in a healthy way of course!

Yes, you are sooo right. I love my own company and am just happy pottering about the house, listening to the radio and meeting my friends. In a practical sense my world does revolve around him but I don't depend on him emotionally for everything. As much as I love him, I don't think about him all the time!

Did someone say something to me?? I thought I heard something.

_____________________________________________________

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"

"I do not believe that women have to work to have a life"

Yes I agree on that too.. But the key is to stay busy and occupied when he's not around ..and not to end up a bitter housewife like in the movies..

[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]

these destitute women? And because my wife could not give me a child, I would take another one that could give me one? And perhaps if I don't like the look of this child, I will take another wife to have a better-looking child?

As long as we want to give reasons, there will always be one, and so what happen to the relationship between the original wife? For sure, she needs to turn her revolvement away from her husband because she can not pleases him, right? Again, I will go back to the point raised by Aisha, it really depend on one's conviction. As you have said, you personally don't agree with the idea of your husband taking another wife. Does it suggest that your life must revolve around him (including whatever the fruits of your relationship including but not limited to your children)? Good morning!

"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"

Yes, in many ways my life does, especially here when he earns the money. Why should I stay home all day and then expect him to manage the domestic side of things? I am not ashamed of this and I do not believe that women have to work to have a life. If you have an equal and loving marriage it doesn't matter who brings in the money and who doesn't. I used to earn more than him in the UK but the balance of our relationship was the same. I do not feel a lesser person by not working here, I am enjoying the break and am very grateful to him for giving me the time to enjoy other parts of life than work.

I agree with you Aisha... well said.

Also, multi-marriages arent always about love. Sometimes it is because a man wants to take care of a widow or divorcee and provide a positive male role model into the lives or her children. Some do it help out a destitute woman (heard of the Bosnia refugees in Syria) who needs to stay in a country for her protection. Some do it because they want children and his wife cannot have any (I know many will say to divorce her is better but thats not always the case). There are many reasons so to say that it is wrong is not for any one single person to decide.

_____________________________________________________

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"

Aunt Polly, you realize you do have a full time profession my dear ..you have things in your life other than your husband.. This is great.. you share YOUR things with him at the end of the day which makes you closer to each other.. How healthy! I congratulate you really this is wonderfullll.. So you have a life already..and you enrich it by adding your husband to the formula.. It’s not healthy when the wife has nothing else in her life but her husband.. so her life would be all about him him him..and she wont care about herself anymore..until the day come when she forgets who she really is, and can’t identify herself by anything but the wife of(…).. and God forbid, if she ever got a divorce, or even got widowed ( Which happens all the time to other women) then what will happen to her? Will she even be able to stand straight and function in life or will that be the end to her too.. I know I sound sooo insensitive, but it’s because I can see myself in that’s wife’s shoes and I’m fighting really hard not to let myself go there.. Everybody who knows me well knows how crazy I am about the great man I’m married to.. and God knows I’m trying so hard to control it.. It just hurts to love too much.. It’s even “possible” to love too much which is way over the hopeless romantic stage..

About the multi marriage thing mentioned above.. Some wives are okay with it which is strange I guess.. I’ll never let it happen to me because I know darn well I can’t deal with it, no way… So it’s all in the contract before the marriage ;-) And hubby thinks that way too.. It takes two to build a life.. Only because it’s allowed in Islam, within conditions, it doesn’t mean that we have to do it or even that anyone is allowed to do it... I don’t want to talk about that now and HIJACK the thread but you know that the majority of Muslims are MONOGAMISTS my dear..

[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]

I wudn't say that my life revovles around my husband.I have a kid too.So my life revolves around my family.But I do things which make him happy and he does things which make me happy.Itz like a partnership or friendship with more commitment to keep each other(the family) happy.

I too do not agree to "obliged to or compelled to" kinda relation.I feel that will make us tired and make us look weird in front of the hubby.He might then complain that his wife is "nagging" or "stupid".

What happens, during the eclipses?

.♥ Does ur life revolves around ur husband? ♥

.yeah, lol......

.

"Having your life revolve around one particular person is not healthy in my opinion. Ladies, we also gotta be able to take care of ourselves if we want to properly take care of others"

I totally agree Amoud!!

[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]

It should be that kind of relationship. 100 % revolvement to each other so there is no room for "anything that could damage" the relationship!

"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"

lucky you, Aunt Polly. :)

Ahem, mine does.

After 16 years of marriage, and inspite of being a full time professional, my entire life revolves around my husband, period. I like to share all the things that happened during his day and he loves to hear about mine. He calls me two or three times a day and I do too just to see how I am . I love to cook for him ( as he is a foodie) and he loves to take me places ( as I love travelling)and he basically does everything for me and the same goes with me. We do everything for each other. I know every expression on my husband's face.He is my best friend , I have none else. I would say that my life revolves around my husband and my husband's life revolves around me.

AP

I know, most ladies still do have that illusion that they can change their man, as if it's their business to do so.

To have a successful, happy marriage there has to be mutual respect so our lives revolve around each other.

You are 100% right Appreciate you and request to all female----- they should thoughts like this

Help people, the Allah ( God) will help you

True Om Maui, if you are entering into a relationship with the hopes of changing the man you can forget it. Learning to live with each other vices and actually embracing them as we all have our own individuality.

I think it is important for husbands and wives to also live their own lives. Beeing too dependant or too needy toward one person IMO is not healthy or productive. That said, I think it is very important to keep harmony in the family but many secure men dont feel the need to be "the pants" of the house anymore and respect the decisions and input of their spouse. I guess it all comes down to balance.

_____________________________________________________

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"

hi Amoud, i agree with you. we need to be a healthy complete person to be able to succeed in any lasting and loving relationships like marriage and family.

I guess the phrase "revolving around your husband" can be taken negatively or positively. but because i deal a lot with divorced people, i do see a trend going the extreme way among modern wives (in this part of the world mostly) who defy their husbands, in an effort NOT to have their life revolve around him; or the other extreme, when the wives try to control their husband's life, thinking it's her duty to make him a better man, thinking that she can (LOL), and ends up not liking the man her husband has become, because he couldn't be himself.

our life should revolved around our conviction. So if you are asking about what your conviction says regarding your relationship with your spouse, then IT SHOULD BE, I mean, your life revolve around your spouse and so is his life revolve around you. Remember, true marriage made you already ONE flesh in front of God/Allah. So your decision must be his decision and his decision must be same as yours (both of you should agree in the end) as commanded by God/Allah.

This is precisely the reason why I don't believe in multi-marriage. How can you made one flesh if there are four wives and one husband? No logic!

"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"

Shegoo, King is being a troll, best to ignore pests and they go away.

My life doesnt revolve around my husband, that is just sad. My life does however revolve around my family, and a happy husband is part of a happy family.

The term "serve" my husband and "obey" my husband kind of rub me the wrong way. Serve and obey is what you do in the military :) I provide, I accomodate, I communicate and such but if your marriage is one of compassion, understanding, respect and love I dont think a woman should ever be prompted to obey as she will have the ability to comprehend what must be done for the greater good of the family.

Having your life revolve around one particular person is not healthy in my opinion. Ladies, we also gotta be able to take care of ourselves if we want to properly take care of others.

_____________________________________________________

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"

Those ladies whose life revolves around their husband will find a place in heaven.. So , please keep it up..

yeh life should revolve around ppl who r important to u but some times wives become soo clingy that they leave no personal space for thr men n that starts to suffocate them. so women plzzz get a life of ur own ....

thr is nothing wrong in treating urself n indulging in personal pleasures. Other then ur family ur home ur husband thr is something else that matters in life n that is u.

for me its my job that really keeps me sane.

Life revolves around what is important to you. Submission to your husband is not slavery. It is a gift of serving your family.

Modern wives make it look like it's pathetic to serve their husbands. It is God's will that a wife submits to her husband and serve him well. Likewise, it is also God's will that the husband treats his wife very well, and NEVER to break her heart.

http://littlegirlmaui.blogspot.com/

is there another peabrain again?wives deserves to be happy.it depends how the husband treats their wifes.a silly question,makes an reflection of what kind of treat you are suffering.i did not mention anyone,but it shows..

My life doesn’t revolve around my man, or me.. It kind of revolves around my relationship with God.. Honestly, I’m always back to revolving around God whenever I lose track of myself over anything else. It maintains my cool and sense of balance..

Spirituality to me is what improves all other MANY aspects of my life.. It makes me a better wife without losing my pride or sanity.. It relaxes me from within..

[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]

king - man, HOW DARE YOU SAY STAY AT HOME WIVES ARE LAZY! just try to stay at home and do all the work while taking care of the kids. we will see if you will survive.

Wellll, to answer your question:

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/368924

[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]

Welll, now to what I think.. The reason why I posted this is that I feel soooo sorry for the women who make their lives revolve around their husbands.. It makes you bitter, it makes you unhappy.. It’s draining your energy! I know!! I mean I REALLY DO KNOW SO..

It’ll only make the wife sound, and look, soooo desperate and needy.. That is not attractive :-( !

Loving your husband is one thing, blocking his air is a total other thing..

I’ll be back ..

[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]

In IRAN "they are Famous for Getting Nose JOBS", if they could walk they should get a JOB. Come on it is the Year 2009.

Women Specially "Wives" should get a JOB. "Protection for the Family, and their ego.

and I support my husband, it can be done. Oh by the way, I don't have a maid but I do send the laundry out. lol

Sorry no.

**************************

Everything happens for a

reason.

not when you are in iran king-man and you dont speak the bloody language. english is not widely spoken here.

duh....

Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand

Wives should not be allowed to stay home, they should get a life and get a JOB.

Stay at home Wives, are Lazy

yes it does hehe

at the moment yes. my life is revolves around my husband. since we moved to iran, and am not working, every day i just concern whats for dinner and do the chores around the house. I pray every second that his contract are broken soon.

Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand

but I am aware that he at this moment he earns more than me. So best to support that.

The kids in BOTH our lives are more important.

I am fairly unique in that I support my husband in all ways. He can call up at 4pm and say, 'dinner party for 8pm ', and I do it!

But I also know he has done for the same for me. (although the veg lasagne was awful! lol)

It is just the way you are. My hubby over here earns the money, I back up that. One day soon when he retires, he will back me up.

wives ;-D lol

gosh.. i thought i am the only one who is doing such crap... there are other concerned wives out there..:)

may i ask you Aisha whether you work?

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry